Yes, that's me in the front with the blonde hair. Circa 1992.
It may come as a surprise to some of you, but I was quite the athlete growing up. For those of you who have paid attention to my random tomboy tales this is probably not a huge shocker. Throughout junior high and high school my most valuable commodities, in my opinion, were my legs. I felt defined by my status as an athlete. Subsequently, my greatest fear for a number of years was the fear of having some sort of paralyzing accident. Such a thing never occurred – thankfully – but I did lose a lot of sleep over it when I was younger.
“Well I'm not paralyzed
But I seem to be struck by you
I wanna make you move
Because you’re standing still”
~Finger Eleven, Paralyzer
I find it ironic that I now find myself suffering a type of paralysis regarding the forward momentum of my life. There are days where I feel as though my legs are cemented in the quagmire of mediocrity. I am standing still … paralyzed by circumstances.
“Do not become paralyzed and enchained by the set patterns which have been woven of old. No, build from your own youthful feeling, your own groping thought and your own flowering perception.” ~Lotte Lehmann
The competitive athlete in me wants to fight my way out of the cement before it dries fully. I have to change my thinking. I must listen to my own strength and treat every situation in my life as though it is the next field hockey match or basketball game or 100-meter dash. I must set out, from the beginning, to win. At stake is not a trophy or a medal or an undefeated season …. but my soul – my psyche – my heart.
“A man can be as great as he wants to be. If you believe in yourself and have the courage, the determination, the dedication, the competitive drive and if you are willing to sacrifice the little things in life and pay the price for the things that are worthwhile, it can be done.” ~Vince Lombardi