Calgon, Take Me Away!!
I am weary and I need a vacation. I know what you are thinking. ‘Take one!’ Yes, well, that is not such an easy thing. I equate a good vacation with travel. If I take time off and linger around home ... well, then I just worry about everything around me and all my responsibilities. Travel costs funds that I do not have and likely will not have anytime soon.
I realized today, during the general weariness of my life, that I haven’t had a vacation … a real vacation … in 15 years. Fifteen! Seriously! The last time I experienced anything remotely resembling a vacation was after my freshman year of college when I went back to Kenya for the summer. It was almost three full months of having absolutely no serious responsibilities. No school. No bills. I visited friends. I went on a safari or two. In general, I did nothing much but enjoy myself. Had I known that those weeks were to count as my vacation quota for the remainder of my natural life … well, I might have made more of them. Maybe.
“A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.” ~Robert Orben, US Magician
For fifteen years I have worked rather consecutively at something or another. I am seriously worn out. I was musing at how ill I have become off and on this past fall/winter/spring. I have been afflicted by flu, respiratory infections, stomach bugs, allergies (which I’ve never, ever had before) … everything! It should have come as no surprise, but it did. My body is tired. I think it is sending up warning signals. Even now, as I type this, my tonsils have spent all day slowly growing to the size of golf balls. I exaggerate, obviously, but they feel like they are that large.
Oh, there have been times in the past where I took time off from work or where I traveled for work and my ex-husband used to convince me that those were vacations. Usually they consisted of taking one week off work and driving seventeen hours from Virginia (where we lived at the time) here to Arkansas to visit his family for 2 (maybe 3) days before getting back in the car and driving all the way back across the country in time to get me back to work. I’m sorry. There is nothing in that scenario that comes close to embodying a vacation. You drive that much in less then one week with two children and tell me how relaxed you are when you get back home. That is one of those instances where you walk back into the office and think to yourself, “Thank God!”
I went to Bermuda in 2002. It was work related. Instead of admiring old architecture or running my toes through the pink sands I was doing hotel inspections and learning everything I could about how to better market the island to my clients. I was a travel agent at the time. It was a break from every day life. I won’t deny that, but I did not have the luxury of enjoying the island the way I would have liked. I did fall in love with it and I would like to go back … on vacation.
I am tired. I am weary. I do not know how much more I can take. I have proved my resilience and strength over and over and over and over again; but I do need a break.
“Vacation is what you take when you can't take what you've been taking any longer.” ~Unknown