Gaping Sarchasm (No, I didn't misspell it.)



Being the dedicated word nerd that I am. There is no way that I could not share this out there for the world at large!

In case you missed it ... Here is the
Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

The winners are:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an a#@hole.

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

12. Karmageddon: It's when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes, and it's a serious bummer.

13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

14. Glibido: All talk and no action.

15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

16. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

There you go! Any thoughts?

Personally, I want to know exactly how thick the 'Bozone Layer' is on some individuals and I would put an 'Inoculatte' do darn good use and I wouldn't have to be in a hurry to do so. It would just make my life so much easier. I also stand guilty of having performed an 'Arachnoleptic Fit' on more then one occasion. Spiders happen to be my biggest phobia ... nasty, hairy, eight legged freaks. I think, however, my favorite would have to be 'Sarchasm' because ... as a regular "author of sarcastic wit" I experience this phenomenon on a daily, almost hourly, basis!

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

5 comments:

  1. NOOOOO! I wrote a beautiful reply then lost it.

    Imagine a comment that was JUST right...yeah, I wrote that one.

    I love/hate the internets.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Osteopornosis deserves extra credit.

    ReplyDelete
  3. mo ma ~ Did you forget it or were you too lazy to retype?? Now I am curious!

    z ~ I agree. It was spot on.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Its so hard to overestimate the level of genius that ppl are capable of.....
    Don't worry Beth... I don't care how deep or wide the sarchasm btwn us is, I'll always make it to your blog:)

    ReplyDelete
  5. kk ~ I have a feeling the sarchasm between us is not so great.

    ReplyDelete

"Stranger, if you passing meet me and desire to speak to me, why should you not speak to me? And why should I not speak to you?" ~Walt Whitman

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