Beowulf



It is 3:15am CST. I just finished watching Beowulf and as I predicted it was absolute, total, theatrical crap. The words "bad movie" do this no justice. I should have known better. I refused to spend the money to go see it in the theater because I was convinced it would suck ... so I had Netflix deliver it to my door and that is two hours of my life lost forever in which I could have been rereading Beowulf instead of watching that shit.

Robert Zemeckis (the director) is an idiot.

"Beowulf is a timeless, epic tale of heroism and triumph. Digital rendering will allow us to depict this incredible story in ways we would never have dared imagine." ~Robert Zemeckis

Well, he got the first part of that right ... the "timeless, epic tale" part. As for going digital: Bullcrap! I mean, it could have worked. IT DIDN'T!

"No matter how many obstacles are thrown in our path, there are ways to except them and live through them." ~Robert Zemeckis

Seriously? NO! You think? Oh ... and did you catch his somewhat clever play on words: "except" instead of "accept"? Well, dude, it would have been a benefit to you to listen to your own advice and accepted that this was one obstacle you should have taken exception to and not tried to tackle because you failed royally. Bloody stupid.

8 comments:

  1. Thanks Beth, I would certainly hold my 2 hours precious too. On the other hand, if it was really bad one could stop as soon as one realized.

    Was it a clever play on words or an inability to spell?

    As for digital rendering I would draw the line long short of that. "Never dared imagine" indeed. I prefer my own imagination.

    Have you seen The Seventh Seal by Ingmar Bergman (1957)? Completely low budget. Not historically accurate but artistically and imaginatively spot on. I saw it in the last couple of days. (Often don't finish a DVD in a sitting!) You might like. Swedish with subtitles. Black and white (I think) A film like this is seen in colour even if not recorded as such.

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  2. Any movie available in IMAX 3D...

    Was it at least bad enough to be laughable? Or just limply incompetent?

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  3. Vincent ~ One could stop ... I have that inability. When it comes to film I always finish it (just in case). I will remember your suggestion. It has been suggested before and multiple recommendations are never a bad thing.

    I would think it is a play on words as I checked several sources. Although, I've determined that he is totally stupid, so ....

    Z ~ Utterly and completely incompetent.

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  4. I hope you didn't have to get up early this morning:)
    Thanks though... its now off of my queue

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  5. Um ... yeah. I had to be at work at 0800. No worries. I'm a chronic insomniac.

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  6. I couldn't take it seriously anymore after the scene with a naked Beowulf and how HARD they tried to block his manhood. It was almost like a Bugs Bunny cartoon.

    Massive epic, my donkey.

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  7. I guess I should proofread my comments before clicking send.

    Any pun in my previous comment was completely unintentional. :P

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"Stranger, if you passing meet me and desire to speak to me, why should you not speak to me? And why should I not speak to you?" ~Walt Whitman

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