Monday Madness

I think I have effectively established how utterly random I am on a rather regular basis. I think. If you are not convinced at my undulating randomness then allow me to provide further substantiation of such a claim. As I am having difficulty wrapping my warped mind around anything decidedly concrete this humdrum Monday, I will now present a myriad of thoughts that have left their footprints on the surface of my gray matter at some juncture today.

1. “Damn it!” My response to, “You look cute today!” from female coworker who sports a she-mullet and uses the phrase “Get ‘er done!” in daily conversation. Have I mentioned that I live and work in redneck hell? I know I have issues with accepting compliments but this is the type of individual who has absolutely no taste. What does a compliment from her mean about my appearance?

2. Am I the only person on the planet that did not see ‘Iron Man’ over the weekend? Many thanks to delayed movie opening nights in the rest of the world or I am sure I would be. Now, what night can I swing a movie this week?

3. I am really, really thrilled to learn that Amy Winehouse has
backed out of doing the latest Bond theme. Petty, I know.

4. “Whew!” My response to, “You look pretty today!” from absolutely adorable female coworker who, despite being a strapped-for-cash single mom living in redneck hell, always looks adorable and appears to have great taste thus alleviating all the baggage that came with attempting to accept the compliment from the fashion-challenged individual mentioned in point number one of this list.

5. “What about breakfast?”
“We've already had it.”
“We've had one, yes, but what about second breakfast?”

~LOTR: The Fellowship of the Ring

6. I could really benefit from a second or third iPod. If I were so lucky then I could accommodate ALL of my music choices and organize them by iPod as opposed to individual playlists. That would be so rad! Yes, I just said “rad” … get over it.

7. I am seriously reconsidering my choice in lingerie today. Yes, it is pretty. Yes, I feel great (if a wee bit uncomfortable) in it. At this point I see no great benefit – considering nobody but me knows how hot it is. Maybe it is time to invest in plain, boring, cotton, granny panties. HA! I think not.

8. Gas prices are finally beginning to really mess with my life. My little truck has a gas tank the size of a small human bladder. When it costs me $40 USD to fill up then the world must certainly be coming to an end.

9. My dad is in Senegal right now. My best friend from high school is in Tanzania right now. A good friend/coworker from college is in Kenya right now. RIGHT NOW!!! I want Africa. I need Africa. Why am I here????

“Jealousy is all the fun you think they had!” ~Erica Jong, American Writer & Feminist

10. If I refuse to touch the inbox that resides on my desk and it begins to resemble Mount Kilimanjaro … will my boss notice? More importantly, will she care as long as it gets emptied by Friday afternoon?

11. Speaking of mountains – the dirty clothes in my apartment would put Mount Everest to shame. Unless it sprouts limbs and takes itself to the laundromat then I predict it will stay that way for another day or two.

12. Would it be dangerous for me to drink ten cups of coffee before lunch AND hook myself up to some sort of intravenous coffee machine?

13. Yep … this is right on up there with “Good Morning!”

14. We are going to the gym immediately after work, aren’t we precioussssss? No! Yes! NO! YES! Aw, hell.

15. Is the industrial strength stapler really that hard to use? Really? Honestly? Are you not strong enough? What is the problem? Do I have to do EVERYTHING for EVERYBODY around here?

“Though this be madness, yet there is method.”
~William Shakespeare


  1. Beth, suppose Billy Shakingsphere knew what he was talking about, then just suppose that numbers were not reality, where would that leave you?

    From my point of view, that would leave you in content of life, not counting life, and hence, no jealousy being what is imagined, imagination being now, and then, only what is pertinent to you.

    Life is the same everywhere, there is no perfection present in any local.

    So undress that illusion and cast the garb to the winds.

    You are right to mentally criticize the vanities of others which they cast onto you, forget them as that. They will outgrow it, we hope.

    Who was it said, 'thru yon window break.....? or something of that sort?

    For William Shakeysphere is right, wait, relax, be kind, and be ready, for thru that window comes dawn, or something like that.

    Lol, forgive me, too much wine, too much day and too much way, but yet, relax and wait in yourself, for you are not finished and there is more to come. Have a day, make it your own, not by others' standards, for that is false, but remember yourself and expect Her.

    There I go, giving advice again, you decide Beth, certainly you are easily capable, just don't be fooled, relax, only the devil is in a hurry. (shessh, more advice, will I never stop?!)

  2. Edit my son, said the wiser man!

    Locale, not local, in the third paragraph, last word.

    Last word, I always have to have the last word, woe is me!

  3. Advice is meant to be given. Do not apologize! :o)

  4. That Garfield cartoon is very me. Today, I woke up to a bright cheery smile and "GOOD MORNING!" from my roommate. It was all I could do not to hit him. I then proceeded to deeply resent him for the next 5 minutes. Sometimes, the strength of my own hatred in the morning suprises me. :))

    As for Africa, this may be a sign Beth, I saw that you mentioned that your children's father is in the same city but if the place puts such a damper on you, why not break free and run? The kids could still come to see their dad during the holidays. Or is it not that easy?

  5. Not that easy! :o) I would have to go back to court ($$$) and push for full custody **or** have written permission (not happening) from my ex to take them from the state ... let alone the country.

  6. Darn. My aunt is going through the same thing...she's never brought her American kids to visit her family in Africa even as the ex wont allow it. I think my Grandma would murder him on sight.

    No offense but the US govt has way too much legislation in some areas. :|


"Stranger, if you passing meet me and desire to speak to me, why should you not speak to me? And why should I not speak to you?" ~Walt Whitman


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