The One Ring




I know it is hard to believe, due to my penchant for English Literature and blatant worship of J.R.R. Tolkien, but the title of this particular post is not an homage to Middle Earth, Frodo, Gollum or Sauron. That would be The Lord of the Rings for all you people out there who do not read (for shame) or have been living under a rock in recent years and missed out on the movie. Yes, movie. It is one movie. Just as the books were originally written as one work and forced into three novels by the publisher … the film is one movie. It just has three installments. Oi! I digress.

No, I am more concerned with the one ring that all married men (traditionally in the U.S.) should wear. Notice I said “should” wear. There is a growing trend of married men in this country who simply never wear a ring and this does not include the scumbags who usually wear one and take it off when they are out trolling for new blood. Apparently a lot of husbands are simply opting out of this one tradition.

“It's a dangerous business going out your front door.” ~J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

Riddle me this: How the hell are us single girls supposed to differentiate between the married and the unmarried if we do not have a tell tale sign … like the ring to help guide us along the way?

I don’t particularly want the first three words of every new conversation I have with a man to begin with, “Are you married?”

Have you seen the film 'P.S. I Love You'? No? Well, I'm about to turn into Lisa Kudrow's character (Denise) in that movie. Here is an example of how she handles the dating scene.

{Denise walks up to a man.}
Denise: Are you single?
Guy: Yes
Denise: Are you gay?
Guy: Yes
{Denise walks away.}
[A few frames later ...]
{Denise walks up to another man.}
Denise: Are you single?
Ted: Yes
Denise: Are you gay?
Ted: No
Denise: Are you working?
Ted: No
{Denise walks away.}

This sort of scene appears several times throughout the film. Yeah ... that's about to be me.


8 comments:

  1. Many African men never wear rings when they marry and, in my community, men almost never wear rings and women wear them for purely cosmetic purposes (but you can usually tell the married women as they'll have more elaborate rings that they got for their wedding).

    Which gives you full license to Kudrow-away!

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  2. Hence the reason I wrote: "traditionally in the U.S."

    Still, the whole thing is about to get really interesting now that I'm pondering 'dating' again. Shudder.

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  3. Honey, you are light years ahead of me. It's been almost 4 years since I split with my former spouse, and I can't even begin to think about the "D"-word yet. I probably won't until my kids are grown. That takes the pressure off. I've got a good five to seven years left before I have to think about this. And when I do eventually dip my toes back into the dating waters, I'm seriously considering just handing out a screening questionnaire, and requiring a blood sample.

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  4. Perhaps you might ask how long they have been single??

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  5. Curious. Would you really wish to meet a man in the same manner as Kudrow's character?

    I know it is a difficult thing to meet someone, however, my "Mary Poppins" hope is that meeting someone doesn't have to be...well...ridiculous.

    And again, I'm accused enough of being "Mary Poppins" lately...so perhaps, my view/hope will remain outdated....

    You're implication is correct though. It should'nt be complicated and it shouldn't be...problematic either....

    Have fun...however, somehow I feel certain that in the event you are confronted with a liar or a schmuck (yep, that's what I said), you'll have something brilliantly humorous to say.

    So, when THAT happens, please blog!

    Best Wishes ~ ;)

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  6. Can I perchance a few stories? My computer is giving me trouble, hopeful I will get in a few visits tonight then spend a few days wrestling with the controls, won't download and acts like it is sick, but your problems seem bigger, I would not want to be faced with this today, women aren't all that different anymore.

    A very good lady friend of mine, met the justright chap. Dates, a few weekend trips, finally he moved in with her. 4 months later she discovered he was actually married and had kids and was doing both things, them and her. She was devastated and felt a total fool, this was/is a very intelligent woman. He was just very clever. She was also SO hopeful that she let it happen, takes two to tango. She was also working thru a very serious, life threatening illness, he had no mercy.

    Another close friend, younger but divorced with teenage child, she should have known better, fell for a handy man, many dates, he moved in eventually, quit working, turned out to be a secret drunk, maybe is homosexual on the side, tells her he is not sexual due to some long past medical results, so now she is stuck with him short of legal action, this due to the length of time he resided in her house, he now is considered to have rights unless she files and waits thirty days (gives him notice), during which he still lives there with full priveleges. She is frightened and pondering what to do.

    Just a couple of many horror stories from the fields. Do be careful, probably best to go slow, get to know lightly, wait and enjoy the company for a long while before getting too involved, give things plenty of time to surface.

    Who am I to give advice, lol? Yet I always am giving it. Like a counselor or psychologist who wants to fix others even as their lives are in a shambles, ever meet one of those, oh my goodness, what a mess the world is in.

    My absolute best to you Beth.

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  7. I forgot to click the email thing, I don't know why I am doing it, my computer is refusing to download my mail now.

    If you would like more stories, let me know, I have plenty, real life.

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  8. I have plenty of horror stories myself, love .. but thank you. Naive I am not.

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"Stranger, if you passing meet me and desire to speak to me, why should you not speak to me? And why should I not speak to you?" ~Walt Whitman

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