big B, LITTLE b ... B-B-B

I borrowed the bones of these ABCs from Melain. As I am suffering from some serious mental blockage when it comes to composing right now I figured, “Aw hell. Why not?”

Obsessive film fan that I am, I could be writing about the
AFI 10 top 10 that aired on TV last night … but, everyone fancies himself/herself a critic and I am sure the world at large does not agree with all of the top 10 choices in each of these genres: animation, romantic comedies, western, sports, mystery, fantasy, sci-fi, gangster, courtroom drama and epic. Personally, I think it is a pretty fine list so I don’t have much to say except, “Go check out the link for yourself if you missed the actual broadcast.”

Now, where was I? Oh yes, the ABCs of Beth.

Please remember: I am not Dr. Seuss. There will be no attempt at rhyme or alliteration … “Big A. Little a. What begins with A? Aunt Annie’s Alligator … A-A-A.” If that is what you are looking for, please go check out
ABC: An Amazing Alphabet Book! by said Amazing American Author … A-A-A. Hee hee!

A - ADVOCATE FOR: PRESERVING THIS PLANET!!! Seriously people … it IS the only one we have and it is obviously rebelling against us. It is the host and we are feeding on it like a swarm of starving parasites. Twenty-five years ago I was eight years old and the snow cap on Mount Kilimanjaro extended down the side of the mountain like a draped blanket. No longer. Now what snow and ice remains is perched ever so thinly at the apex. I do not need graphs and statistics to believe in Global Warming … I’ve watched with my own eyes what it has done to both Mount Kilimanjaro and Mount Kenya within the course of my lifetime. In a few short years there will be no snow on the Equator and our children will think that we and Victorian explorers such as Dr. Livingstone were completely loony for claiming to have seen such a thing. It’s a damn good thing we have photographic proof, huh?

B - BEST FEATURE: I have absolutely BEAUTIFUL eyes. Modest about them, aren’t I? They are not just REALLY green … they also possess an amazing shape shared by many a feline creature as well as intriguing flecks of gold. My natural eyelashes are not too shabby either. I project the bulk of my emotions with my eyes. They are often very

C - COULD DO WITHOUT: Winter! Oh, how I abhor the cold. My equatorial blood has nothing but disdain for the months of November through March in the Northern Hemisphere of this planet. The warmth of the sun is life. “Sunlight is the life-blood of Nature. Mother Earth looks at us with such dull, soulless eyes, when the sunlight has died away from out of her. It makes us sad to be with her then; she does not seem to know us or to care for us.” ~Jerome K. Jerome, Three Men in a Boat

D - DREAMS and DESIRES: Are they not one in the same? Those things that we longingly desire inevitably find their way into our dreams and, very often, many things surface subconsciously in our dreams that we are astonished to discover we really do desire. My dreams and desires are a wee bit fuzzy at the moment. I am in the midst of letting go of some that are rather unrealistic and forming new ones that could possibly be quite life altering. I believe all dreams and desires should be just that … life altering. It is possible that all may not be reached in my lifetime, but the journey … oh yes, the journey … it should be most memorable.

es•sen•tial [uh-sen-shuhl]
absolutely necessary; indispensable

1) Chapstick and Carmex: Dry, flaky lips are just SO uncool.
2) Listerine, Extra (gum) and Altoids: The war against bad breath must be fought on all fronts.
3) DVR: I have not the time or patience for watching television as it airs. Record. Watch later. Do not ask me about amusing commercials because I haven’t watched them in forever.
4) Passport: If you don’t know why then you need to read
a whole heck of a lot more about me.
5) Stories: Books. Movies. Songs. Poems. Fables.

F - FAVORITE PASS TIME: Writing. This applies even when I seem to be writing nothing but total crap. Still, I write.

G - GOOD AT: Talking! “She talks too much.” ~Miss Myers, 1st Grade Teacher, Rosslyn Academy (1981) It is a gift. Man! I would make a great radio disc jockey. I talk even when there is no one there to listen except myself. Some say that talking to oneself is madness. I answer myself too … that, my friends, is where the true madness lies!

H - HAVE NEVER TRIED: Sky Diving! Bring it on!!! Note to self: lose a few pounds (ok – a lot), save a few bucks (ok – a lot) and proceed to jump out of a perfectly good airplane! Bonsai!!! Geronimo!!! Woo Hoo!!!!

I - IF I HAD A MILLION DOLLARS: Retire. Finish college. Buy a house in the U.S. somewhere other than the stupid town in which I currently reside. Buy a house in Kenya. Store some away in an account with a ridiculously high interest rate. Travel. Travel. Travel.

J - JUNKIE FOR: Coffee. I am still working on some sort of intravenous device that will dispense coffee directly into my veins without killing me. Of course, I don’t intend to give up actually drinking the good stuff either. I’ve been called a ‘coffee slut’ and a ‘coffee snob’ and yet … I care not. Yes, I have my own

K - KINDRED SPIRIT: Um, okay … well, I have already
chatted about what female friendships are like for me. With that in mind, let me just say this …

He knows who he is. We are not married. We were never married. We are not romantically involved. Our lives have run a parallel path without intersection and seem destined to continue on said course. He knows me. He understands me. There is no judgment. He is closer than much of my family. Is this not the definition of the word?

L - LITTLE KNOWN FACT: I ran a 15.2 second 100-meter dash when I was only TEN years old (4th grade). The current women’s world record is 10.49 seconds. I did improve in junior high and high school. Unfortunately … the university I attended did not have a track team. I know. I know. And, well, now I’m a big girl and my knees hate me. There is no way I am sprinting 50 meters – let alone 100. Maybe someday.

M - MEMORABLE MOMENT: August 15, 1992 – It was my birthday … one of the last truly great ones. I am quite sure that I alone know and understand why it was memorable. For now, this is something I will keep to myself. Shocker, huh?!

N - NEVER AGAIN WILL I: allow my life to get in the way of WHO I AM!

O - OCCASIONAL INDULGENCE: I had the first professional massage of my life a few months ago. BLOODY HELL!!! What was I waiting for ($$$$$)? Now – I make the time and the money for this specific occasional indulgence.

P - PROFESSION: I once had an actual profession, but I gave it up for a number of reasons … some good, some not so good. I was a Corporate Concierge and I absolutely adored that gig. Maybe someday I will go back. For now, I have a job. I work in sales and marketing for the largest state park in Arkansas. It is not so bad. It is not so awesome either.

Q - QUOTE: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! This is ME we are talking about. What is the name of my blog again? I love quotes. Let’s see … just one? "Be daring, be different, be impractical, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the play-it-safers, the creatures of the commonplace, the slaves of the ordinary." ~Sir Cecil Beaton

R - REASON TO SMILE: Chubbits. Fatheads. Crazy Dudes. Merry and Pippin. Dudes. These are all pseudonyms for my children. Pay attention!

S - SORRY ABOUT: My temper. Yes, it does get out of control from time to time. When coupled with my penchant for sarcasm or brutal honesty … well, it can get ugly. There you have it.

T - TAG SOME FRIENDS: Not happening. Not this time. If, like me, you find this intriguing then feel free. I’m not stopping you.

U - UNINTERESTED IN: Paris Hilton. Britney Spears. Lindsey Lohan. WTF???? Why is ANYONE interested?

V - VERY SCARED OF: Severe Thunderstorms. Lightning. Thunder. Sideways Rain. *Shudder* Not to mention … have you ever noticed that really, really bad things happen to people during thunderstorms … especially in movies. Not good.

W - WORST HABIT: If we are talking … I can guarantee that I will interrupt you at some point. I do not really mean to do it. I am trying to stop. I truly don’t think that my words are more important than yours … I just open my mouth and blah, blah, blah, blah ….

X - X MARKS MY IDEAL VACATION SPOT: Impossible! I’m partial to anywhere in Kenya (obviously) so I will shy away from destinations within that particular country. I don’t know. This is SO hard. Out of all the places I have been to date … probably Bermuda. The country is amazing and it has beautiful beaches and fabulous architecture and great shopping (and I hate to shop) and crazy good dining options and insane amounts of CULTURE! Loved it! In my fantasy world the ideal vacation would be spending two or three weeks in Scotland.

Y - YUMMIEST DESSERT: I’m down with anything that combines super dark chocolate and peanut butter together to create something irresistible and fantastical and guaranteed to give me a foodgasm.

Z - ZODIAC SIGN: I’m the quintessential LEO by the traditional zodiac. According to the Chinese calendar I was born in the year of the TIGER. Did I mention I have very feline eyes? Hmmm?

“It raises all sorts of philosophical questions about the nature of self, about the existence of the soul. AM I ME?” ~Being John Malkovich, Film (1999)


  1. Yes, I would have lunch or dinner with you any time.

  2. jim ~ It's a date ... if I ever wander my way into your part of TX.

  3. Beth, that sounds great, you're on, I'm buying, bring the kids.

  4. Wasn't this one fun? I had a great time doing mine. Even if I did totally flake and forget Y. Had to go back and add that one in. Loved yours!

  5. It was a good one actually. I just went digging through the archives to find yours. "Why the 70's?" Indeed!!!


"Stranger, if you passing meet me and desire to speak to me, why should you not speak to me? And why should I not speak to you?" ~Walt Whitman


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