Today I bring you a list of some of my own quotes ... a list of my so-called greatest hits (to date):
“Time marches on. Stupid phrase. True, but stupid. Whoever coined it should be shot for their inherent aptitude for blatantly stating the obvious.” ~Being Banausic
“Good box springs make good neighbors.” ~Good Box Springs Make Good Neighbors
“I need sunshine. I need warmth. I need the planet to feel like it is alive!” ~75F and All is Well
“I hate to think that my entire social life resides within this box that is conveniently connected to the internet. Crap! It does.” ~Only the Lonely
“There were a number of pseudo-celebrities staying at our hotel … you know them – those people that are in a ton of films, but always in the background … you know their faces, but you can’t think of their names. Pseudo-Celebrities.” ~Boats, Boredom, Football & Psuedo-Celebrities
“No assembly required. No electronics. No playground equipment.
Just a small hill, two great trees, and … imagination.” ~Perfect Playground
“And could somebody please . . . PLEASE . . . explain the nationwide infatuation with the nasty, chalky, candy hearts with all the sappy sayings??” ~Oh Wretched Day Of Sappiness ...
“Saying the word “duh” does no one any favors …especially those attempting to endear themselves to the I.A.T.S.M.E.T.I.A.S (I Attempt To Sound More Educated Than I Am Society).” ~Indeed!
“Oh! I do so wish I could walk in a place where the cacophony of nature filled my ears instead of the clatter of civilization.” ~A Path That Wanted Walking
“I should be grateful that I am not stuck in an uninviting, dusty, generic cubicle box which, in turn, is located in a boring, drab and utterly average office building somewhere.” ~Drudgery
“If I didn’t know better I would wonder who was slipping me some acid right before bed because if I try to describe many of my dreams to you … you would swear I was tripping on some illegal substance in order to bring such thoughts into my illusions. Hooray for my subconscious! It knows I do not like mediocrity.” ~Kingdom of Dream and Shadows
“Knock. By all means – keep knocking. I am not Jesus. The door shall not be opened.” ~Foggy, I Am
“I have this theory. When two people have loved each other as deeply as humanly possible there is an invisible rubber band (of sorts) that attaches itself to each participant of said love affair so that, in the event they are separated by circumstances, someday (as they move farther and farther apart) they will stretch the band to maximum capacity and it will snap them back (watch out for whiplash) into each others lives for some unidentifiable purpose.” ~AFI 100 Greatest Movie Quotes (Part II)
“Can you say ‘Oedipus?’ Ewwwwww.” ~AFI 100 Greatest Movie Quotes (Part II)
The following all come from the same post in which I babble on randomly about myself:
“Sarcasm oozes from my every pore in my body ... much like sweat.”
“I talk way too damn much. I know this about myself and yet ...”
“Maybe I needed more then a divorce. Maybe I needed an exorcism.”
“Coffee. I love it. Love. It. Bad coffee. I hate it. Hate. It. Bad coffee is better than no coffee.”
“I will be the first to tell you if you have spinach in your teeth or if your zipper is down or if you have hair hanging out of your nose and you will love me and appreciate me for it.”
“I am a shield maiden of Rohan. For that matter, I am Eowyn herself. You just don't know it yet.”
“Dear God ~ Please bring me a rich man who can fund all of my adventures. He still has to love me desperately though. I don't want a sugar daddy. Amen.”
“I love Drew Barrymore movies. I love Steven Spielberg movies. I absolutely detest the film E.T.”
“I don't see the glass as half empty. I don’t see it as half full. I see half a glass of water.”
“I want to fly on a broomstick and play Quidditch.”
“I have eaten beef, pork, chicken, turkey, fish, lamb, goat, rabbit (ugh), quail, buffalo, giraffe, crocodile, alligator, deer, gazelle, impala, zebra, wildebeest, flying ants, ostrich and I'm sure many others that are simply not coming to mind at the moment. I could never be a vegetarian.”
~100 Factoids - Get to Know Me, You Will
"Imagine the wonderments we would likely behold if every human on earth embraced their own madness enough to shun the desire to be normal (mediocre, average, standard, common, routine) and actively pursued the metaphorical reaching for the stars. Miracles. We would witness miracles on Earth." ~The Mad People
"Shoes. Important they are. Before you spend an entire day walking to and fro throughout the festivities of such an event ... make sure your shoes really are comfortable. Thinking they will be comfortable doesn't cut it. You have to KNOW!" ~Riverfest!!
"Do you have any idea how difficult it is to send a text message or make a cell phone call when you are enveloped in a crowd of .... oh, I don't know ... 25,000 people or so and practically every single one of those individuals also has a cell phone and is trying to do the same thing you are trying to do .. simultaneously? Nigh impossible!" ~Riverfest!!
"If I refuse to touch the inbox that resides on my desk and it begins to resemble Mount Kilimanjaro … will my boss notice?" ~Monday madness
"You KNOW that every person on the planet needs a big brass bowl full of carved and painted wood fruits and vegetables. You know they do. Everyone. Aren’t you jealous?" ~Monday Mosaic #2-Karibuni!
"Riddle me this: Why does it seem that IGNORANCE is actually growing world wide with the speed and intensity of a deadly air born virus? It is a plague. How is this possible? Shouldn’t the growth in knowledge and education be reversing this trend? Am I a total loon for thinking that prejudice might one day become a thing of the past?" ~Dark Frontier or New World?
"DREAMS and DESIRES: Are they not one in the same? Those things that we longingly desire inevitably find their way into our dreams and, very often, many things surface subconsciously in our dreams that we are astonished to discover we really do desire." ~big B, Little b ... B-B-B
"I do not eat Kiwi. Why? Well, to be perfectly honest, Kiwi too closely resembles little hairy monkey balls. Yep. I said it. Little. Hairy. Monkey. Balls." ~Quirky Quirks
"Did you know that alarm clocks are not made to withstand being thrown against a wall? Well, they aren’t. I have proof … in pieces." ~Have You Slapped A Dead Poet Today?