I am. I am. I am.




I can not breathe. I would love to blame the stifling humidity of a Southern summer or the asthma that I do not have. Even the confining boundaries of Small Town, USA threaten my ability to inhale oxygen; but it is, instead, the realization that I am no longer the woman that I once was. I have been responsible for the near suffocation of a person I love most dearly – me!

In truth, nothing this severe happens alone and without warning. I simply was not paying attention. Maybe I was hiding. Who knows? There are a number of stupid life decisions and situations that contributed to my current situation. They need not be revisited.

One particular afternoon, as I was wheezing for air, I realized that the time had come for me to embark on a voyage of rediscovery of myself. Who am I supposed to be? What happened to the vibrant and confident woman that existed fifteen years ago?

How do I get her back?

I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart: I am, I am, I am. ~Sylvia Plath

2 comments:

  1. Hi Beth, these are for you. A small selection but they are all food for thought, and, at the very least, interesting...

    If you don't get lost, there's a chance you may never be found. ~Author Unknown


    Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves. ~Henry David Thoreau


    If you haven't had at least a slight poetic crack in the heart, you have been cheated by nature. ~Phyllis Battelle


    Every one of us has in him a continent of undiscovered character. Blessed is he who acts the Columbus to his own soul. ~Author Unknown

    Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death. ~Anaïs Nin


    There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered. ~Nelson Mandela


    "Know thyself" - a maxim as pernicious as it is odious. A person observing himself would arrest his own development. Any caterpillar who tried to "know himself" would never become a butterfly. ~André Gide, Nouvelles Nourritures


    Your distress about life might mean you have been living for the wrong reason, not that you have no reason for living. ~Tom O'Connor

    It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself. Makes you wonder what else you can do that you've forgotten about. ~Alan Ball, American Beauty, 1999

    ReplyDelete

"Stranger, if you passing meet me and desire to speak to me, why should you not speak to me? And why should I not speak to you?" ~Walt Whitman

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