I am. I am. I am.
I can not breathe. I would love to blame the stifling humidity of a Southern summer or the asthma that I do not have. Even the confining boundaries of Small Town, USA threaten my ability to inhale oxygen; but it is, instead, the realization that I am no longer the woman that I once was. I have been responsible for the near suffocation of a person I love most dearly – me!
In truth, nothing this severe happens alone and without warning. I simply was not paying attention. Maybe I was hiding. Who knows? There are a number of stupid life decisions and situations that contributed to my current situation. They need not be revisited.
One particular afternoon, as I was wheezing for air, I realized that the time had come for me to embark on a voyage of rediscovery of myself. Who am I supposed to be? What happened to the vibrant and confident woman that existed fifteen years ago?
How do I get her back?
I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart: I am, I am, I am. ~Sylvia Plath