Seeing as I haven't had the time this holiday season to write anything of any significance ... let me leave you with my responses to some "interview" questions that I answered on a random Facebook application whilst bored at work. Trust me, this is but a random sampling as the "interview" was much, much, much longer. Still ...

Dumbest TV show?
That stupid now cancelled show based off the irritating cavemen from the Geiko commercials.

Do you watch MTV?
Once upon a lifetime ago when MTV actually stood for *MUSIC* television.

Do you like clingy/whiny people?
Oh, my stars!! I can not stand them.

Which song are you listening to right now/did you last listen to?
I took off my iPod about 10 minutes ago. The last song was David Cook\'s Idol performance of Music of the Night from The Phantom of the Opera. Good stuff.

Which band did you last see live?
ZZ Top - 'Cause you know "Every Girls Crazy Bout A Sharp Dressed Man"

What is your view on teenage love?
I think society can often underestimate the power of teenage feelings. I am pretty positive I loved as a teenager.

What Is Your Age Policy ?
I think I can safely say I would date someone 10 years up ... but probably only 5 years down at this point. Ask me again in another 5 years.

How would you describe your sense of humor?

Do you think your country can go to the World Cup in South Africa in 2010?
Seeing as I will not be pulling for USA ... probably! Go England! Go Italy!

Do you dislike people who intentionally misspell words online?
With a passion!

Do you swear?
“Every damn day." ~The Mummy (Film, 1999)

How many mosquito bites do you currently have?
0 -- The only blessing that wintertime brings to the South.

If you had to destroy life in order to protect other life, could you do it?
I would kill someone who was threatening my children ... so yeah, I could.

If you saw a monkey driving a car down the street, what would your first reaction be?
That is one freaking awesome monkey!

Favorite lyric?
“I can't live with or without you . . .” ~U2 (This will change tomorrow. You might want to ask me again later.)

Random word. Go.

Can your mind comprehend the fact that the universe never ends?
If the Energizer Bunny can keep going ... why not the Universe? Huh?

Have you ever meaningfully kissed someone?
With every fiber of my being ...

What kind of eggs do you like?

Do you go for a blonde or brunette?
I am typically attracted to dark headed guys. I know not why.

First thing you broke?
My silence.

Would you sleep with you ex?
Ex-husband? Not a shot in hell. Ex-boyfriend(s)? Maybe. Which one?

When dismantling a bomb, do you cut the black wire or the yellow wire?
Yellow. It is an ugly color anyway.

Do you question your place in the Universe?
Nope and I do not even need a *You Are Here* arrow to point the way.

If you were to be rejected by e-Harmony, what would it be for?
Brutal Honesty

What football (or soccer, if you prefer that term) do you support?
England: ManU; US: LA Galaxy; World: I am digging Italy & England lately.

Best story:
‘Romeo & Juliet’ – I am feeling romantic. Although, this is mood driven as well. Ask me another day and it is just as likely to be ‘Lord of the Rings’ or ‘Harry Potter’ or even ‘Where the Wild Things Are’ … I do not know.

What or Who do you secretly love?
You obviously do not know me. There are no secrets here.

Do you want a man to be on your roof?
Will he be fiddling?

What is your favorite smell???
Rain on the Serengeti

What is your favorite number?
8 -- Upright Infinity

Do you ever wonder why Smurfette was the only female Smurf?
No. I know. Gargamel created her to cause dissention among the Smurfs. This, of course, would have worked in a normal male dominated society. The Smurfs are just a whacked out.

Do you consider yourself a "nerd" or a "dork" or a "geek"?
Um, yeah, so ... the thing is ... all of the above. I am also pretty damn cool though. Do not let the labels fool you!

Night or Day?
“Nightime sharpens, heightens each sensation. Darkness wakes and stirs imagination ... “ ~Phantom of the Opera

How old are you in dog years?
238 ... Yeah, I know you can divide. That makes me 34. What do you want to make of it?

Read the book, or see the movie?
My general rule of thumb is to read the book. There are a few notable exceptions. 'Phantom of the Opera' comes to mind. Stupid book. Great musical. Great movie.

Is there only one soul-mate for anyone, or are there more than one?
Soul mates are not meant to be forever. Read 'Eat Pray Love' and you will understand.

“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you and then they leave. And thank God for it.” ~Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat Pray Love

What is your favorite book?
"Persuasion" by Jane Austen ... followed closely by a big fat volume of "The Complete Works of Shakespeare”.

What would you change about yourself?
I love myself. I love myself. I love myself. Was that convincing?

You are stranded on an island and you can take unlimited books. Which do you choose?
Why do I have to choose? I have an UNLIMITED selection, right? By definition there should be no choosing involved.

Have you ever been in love?
I believe so. Once. Maybe twice. It is all warped to me now. The matter is still up for debate.

Finish the sentence: "The way you smile..."
... makes me wonder what you are up to!

How do you like your men?

What time is it when an elephant sits on a chair?
Time to send the elephant back to the savannah where he belongs so he will not break any more chairs.

Tennis or golf?
Riddle me this? Do they both bore you? Yeah - I thought so.

Least favorite song in the world?
That stupid ... *Had a Bad Day* song by Daniel Powter irritates me to no end.

What is your favorite Shakespeare play?
Much Ado About Nothing

if you fell off a cliff what would be you last thought?
How come I do not pause in the air like that stupid coyote?

Are you happy to have single-handedly destroyed the earth?
"Gee, Brain, what do you want to do tonight? The same thing we do every night, Pinky ... "

What would you do if no one would ever find out?
Someone ALWAYS finds out!

What is your favorite kind of cheese?
"Behold the power of cheese!!" This is an evil question.

Look to your left: What do you see?
Oooooh! I see a wonderfully fascinating ... wall. Are you not jealous?

Star Wars or Star Trek?
“May the Force be with you!”

“Live long & prosper!”
I am just sayin’ ...

Are you self obsessed?
I am a mother. I do not have time to be self obsessed.

Why do you go on Facebook?
Hi! My name is Beth. I am a Facebook addict.

What is your biggest turn off?

What motivates you?

When will you be in Chicago next?
I do not know. It will likely involve some unknown future connecting flight between point A and point B.

What is love?
“Oh baby, don’t hurt me. Don’t hurt me ... no more.”

How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Did I ask for your help? I think not.

What is the meaning of life?
I know not. Ask the Monty Python dudes ... they seem to have an idea.

If you were one of the seven dwarfs, who would you be?
Grumpy. Although - I do not think the beard would suit me.

Do you believe in heaven and hell?
Yes I do and I am pretty sure I have friends in both places.

What sort of character would you play in a comic book (hero, humorous sidekick, villain, that abrasive newspaper guy, etc.)
Marvel Comics anti-hero ... Black Cat. Specific enough for you?

What is the name of your truest friend???
I do not trust so easily.

If you could time travel, what would be your first stop?
Summer 1994; there would be much work to be done.

Performing Arts, Fine Arts, or Sports?
“I want it all. I want it all. I want it all and I want it now.”

What came first, the chicken or the egg?
More importantly ... Who was the first person to choose to eat something that came out of a chicken butt? (FYI: I believe in Creation. The chicken came first.)

Close your eyes for a moment, who pops into your head?
Someone who should not ... damn memories

Do you say "I love you" in the relationship?
"Those three words are said too much yet not enough..."

Aliens have landed and selected you to visit their home planet. Do you go with them?
Hell yeah ... but then I would likely wake to find it all a dream. I hate disappointment.

If you could be successful at any job in the world, what would that job be?
Travel Writer

What is your favorite word?
Plethora (for now)

Would you rather be hot or cold?
I am sssssssmokin!!

Opera, Musical, Concert, Play, Performance, or Other?
Bring it ... all of it.

What is your favorite clothing brand?
Adam and Eve ... The Exclusive Fig Leaf Collection.

Your favorite Disney Films?
The Little Mermaid. Prince Eric is HOT! What?

Where is Waldo?
He is in Hollywood trying to get a movie deal. Why not? They will put anything on film these days.

Do you eat cold cereal at night?
If the occasion calls for it.

What is your favorite TV show?
Cancelled ... that is what it is. Bloody studio executives.

Kill the spider or let it out?
Shelob MUST be destroyed.

What do you do on Fridays?
Fry. What else would I do?

What is your favorite song of all time?
I Remember You ~Skid Row

Do you like bananas?
Well, now, that just depends ...

What would you do if Michael Jackson asked you out?
I am quite sure raucous laughter would be involved.


  1. OMG...this is are truly amazing!

  2. Amazing? Um ... thanks! I'm not sure about that. Warped, maybe?!?


"Stranger, if you passing meet me and desire to speak to me, why should you not speak to me? And why should I not speak to you?" ~Walt Whitman


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