Sick Day



Thursday: I was fine. Friday: Not so much.

“The appearance of a disease is swift as an arrow; its disappearance slow, like a thread.” ~Chinese Proverb

It is now Saturday. I should be knee deep in the rather immense “to do” list that has managed to accumulate through the course of the past week. Should. But, what do we find? Were you to walk into my apartment at this very moment you would find me sitting on my couch looking absolutely stunning grotesque … gloriously adorned in a bathrobe with a box of tissues snuggled closer to my side than any lover … cursing the entire scientific community for their obvious incompetence in being able to cure my common cold.
Devil virus.

It is quite obvious, as long as I look and feel as though I will soon resemble
Mike the Headless Chicken (my head having exploded off my body), that my chores list of things to do will have to wait for another day or another week or … forever. The laundry will stay in the baskets. The vehicle oil change will have to wait. Vacuuming? Not today. Finally hanging art and shelves on the walls of this apartment that I moved into over a month ago? Later.

So, now what? I am sick. I am alone (the kids being with the ex this weekend). Why do I have to do anything? That’s the beauty (nothing beautiful about me right now) reality of it. I don’t. There isn’t much of a plan, seeing as my head is far too fuzzy to actually attempt thinking at the moment, but I’m quite sure the following events will work/have worked their way into my day:

I might change out of the bathrobe and into sweatpants and a t-shirt. Maybe. I’ll consider it.

If I sneeze just one more time there will be no shock and awe when the few precious brain cells I have remaining come rocketing in spectacular fashion out of my nasal canal.

Tylenol Cold Severe Multi-Symptom medication is a joke and yet I keep throwing the pills down my throat every four hours because it is what I have here and going to pick up some other sort of medication would mean exposing the greater public to my plague. And, I’m too lazy.

I will more than likely shower or bathe no less than five or six times today (two down already). I know I can not simply wash the virus away but this makes me feel better.

It seems this would be a good day to edit all my iTunes playlists.

The craving for incredibly salty food barely edible material [Read: Ramen Noodles] will likely begin shortly in desperate attempt to break up copious amounts of mucus residing quite stubbornly in throat.

Orange juice guzzling has commenced.

Photo credit: Flickr, Textu_be

Hot herbal tea guzzling will commence in the immediate future.

Despite the fact that I have a million plus channels (exaggeration) on TV … there is nothing to watch.

Due to that fact, there will soon be a great internal struggle of deciding to watch all of ‘The Lord of the Rings’ or embarking on a Gerard Butler themed movie marathon. ‘The Phantom of the Opera’ (music). ‘300’ (action). ‘P.S. I Love You’ (romance). ‘Tomb Raider’ (adventure). ‘Dear Frankie’ (drama). I hate decisions.

Nap. It would take a miracle amidst the congestion and coughing and mucus.

A lot of yawning will take place.

Perhaps I will finish current
reading material. The problem here is that these pages induce riotous I-can’t-breathe-and-will-now-cough-up-my-one-remaining-good-lung laughter. I am quite sure I only have one lung left. The other one might be on the carpet next to my bed having been hacked up as unceremoniously has a hair ball sometime during the night.

Pretty picture, huh? Anyone want to come over for a visit?

3 comments:

  1. Sorry to hear about the viral invasion. Been there plenty of times. Sounds like you've got a handle on the coping strategies.

    I suggest doing Gerard today, as your kids are out and you may lust with impunity, and LOTR tomorrow, so if they return in the midst of your marathon, you won't be caught thinking anything untoward. Guzzle the fluids and get some sleep, love!

    ReplyDelete
  2. it was not me sick this weekend but one of our foster daughters. She puked everywhere all weekend. Fun.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sending good vibes your way from New York.
    It's amazing that they can call something so awful the "common"cold.

    ReplyDelete

"Stranger, if you passing meet me and desire to speak to me, why should you not speak to me? And why should I not speak to you?" ~Walt Whitman

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