100 More Random Factoids - Know Me Yet?


Why? The challenge? Just to see if I could? Anniversary present? Vanity? Psychosis? I completed the first list one year ago today. I started this list at least three weeks ago. At the time it seemed like a pretty grand plan: to publish an anniversary list every year with a new order of craziness. At this moment, I think I have lost my mind as I have to finish in the next 5 hours or I will miss my self-imposed deadline and I still have fifty+ bullet points to come up with. Ready? (I’m not. Obviously.) Here we go …

101. I have an aversion to blue ink pens. Abhor the blue. Love the black. I'm an ink pen racist. [Hangs head in shame.]

102. I have come to realize that I will never be one of the popular kids. You know what? Not only am I 100% okay with that fact, but I actually prefer it this way!

103. “We must remember that all these things, the nuances, the anomalies, the subtleties, which we assume only accessorize our days are in fact here for a much larger and nobler cause. They are here to save our lives.” ~Stranger Than Fiction, Film (2006)

104. I have so much to do in this life. I am simply unaware of what all those things are at this time.

105. I keep trying to determine who I would be if I could choose to be any literary character. At inception, I thought it would be a simple decision. I was wrong. [A ‘Top Ten’ list on the subject is likely forthcoming.] Update: Like this.

106. I’m a flirt. In person. Over the phone. Online. Incorrigible.

107. Makeover. I hate the word. Everything these days is “makeover this” and “makeover that” and “let’s get a makeover” and blah, blah, blah.

108. I need a makeover serious life change.

109. While growing up, I disliked avocados. Now? I would give anything for a large, fresh, Kenyan avocado as opposed to the scrawny ones that are sold in the grocery here. Avocados are good.

110. I have an astonishingly sensitive sense of smell.

111. Despite my adoration of all things music, my list of concerts attended is not as lengthy as one might think: Bon Jovi (twice), Skid Row, Goo Goo Dolls, Steven Curtis Chapman, Keith Urban, The Doobie Brothers, Kelly Clarkson with Reba McIntyre, Huey Lewis & The News, OneRepublic, .38 Special and ZZ Top. UPDATE: Nickelback, Gavin Rossdale, Heart, Hinder, Celtic Woman, American Idol Summer 2009 (Big K's bday present), Theory of a Deadman, Daughtry, and Muse.

112. I not so secretly wish Steven Spielberg would begin rolling out new episodes of Animaniacs.

113. Apparently, I am responsible for introducing more than one of my high school friends to their initial alcoholic beverage. This wasn’t a fact I remembered about myself, but the stories of just such occurrences keep surfacing.

114. Eventually, some random January, I will choose to read everything by Charles Dickens starting that year. I will do it. Update: I thought 2010 would be the year. I was mistaken. January came and I was unprepared.

115. When I get in an elevator I check the certification certificate to see when that sucker was last inspected. Plummeting 50 floors … or even 1 … is not an appealing thought for me. And, yet, I have absolutely no fear of getting on an airplane and having it fall out of the sky.

116. Nobody in my office knows how to use spell check … or they are simply far too lazy. Apparently, it is much more efficient for them to yell, “Beth! How do you spell ….?” from across the room. Ironically, while I am a great speller, I don’t spell well out loud and won’t be winning a Spelling Bee anytime soon. I quickly type (or write) my response to myself before hollering back the answer.

117. I don’t sew. Needle and thread are not my friends and, truthfully, I don’t want them to be.

118. Resigning myself to the fact that I will most likely live in this country for the rest of my life has led me to the decision that I will move to the greater Dallas, Texas area one of these days. I heart Dallas.

119. My first car was bought for me when I came to the U.S. for college: 1984 Buick LeSabre … two-tone poo brown. It was a boat affectionately known on campus as the U.S.S. Kenya. I sailed that ship on many a sporadic road trip.

120. I love pizza. Big K loves pizza. Little K loves pizza. We have drastically different pizza preferences. This makes ordering pizza a complex and expensive venture with (usually) a lot of leftovers (this is changing as my boys really do often eat like boys and leave nothing behind). All three of us adore cold pizza for breakfast.

121. At some point in my life I have been a subscriber to the following magazines: Highlights, Teen Beat, Sports Illustrated, National Geographic, Entertainment Weekly, Reader’s Digest, Newsweek, Cosmopolitan, People, Redbook, Taste of Home and Bon Appetite.

122. I obtained my driver’s license on my fifteenth birthday. Not my permit, my license. We lived in Louisiana that year and the legal driving age was 15, not 16 like the rest of this country. I took the test that morning and we began driving to San Antonio, Texas as soon as I got home. That afternoon my father made me drive through rush hour traffic in Houston, Texas. I have since driven in many a large city with no apprehension at all. (Random note: Honestly, if I can drive in Nairobi … I can drive anywhere.)

123. I speed.

124. I have road rage.

125. I used to cross stitch. A lot. And then I realized that even a pretty cross stitch is truly an ugly cross stitch. I do not cross stitch anymore.

126. I am absolutely hilarious, but only to myself and the 5 other people (that’s a generous estimate) on this rock who get my humor.

127. My brother and I had cookie bake-offs when we were younger. My father was the judge. I always won. I think this had more to do with being “daddy’s girl” then it did the taste or appearance of my cookies.

128. “You are just like your father!” comes out of my mom’s mouth at least once every time I go for a visit.

129. I went to my 5 year high school class reunion. I skipped the 10 year … on purpose. Year 15 came and went without any of us realizing we should have had a reunion. I’m planning my 20 year high school reunion. I guess I will have to be there.

130. If I were a super-hero I would be Black Cat. But, she dated Spiderman and I think Peter Parker is a tool. Bruce Wayne, on the other hand, can light my fire any day. I know. Black Cat having the hots for Batman would be a DC/Marvel crossover and for some stupid reason that is really taboo.

131. I applied for a job at The Disney Store once when I was in college. They didn’t hire me. Apparently, I wasn’t considered “wholesome” enough for the job. Go figure.

132. Despite my insomnia issues, I do not nap during the day even if I feel exhausted. I have tried. The end result of me napping is waking up with the bitchiest and crankiest attitude on the planet for the rest of the day.

133. I have rather small feet for my height and nubby little pinky toes.

134. I think Pepe le Pew is one smoooooth operator.

135. I have decided that I was born at exactly the right time in history. My sarcasm alone would have gotten me beheaded or burned at the stake or mummified alive in any other era.

136. Breakfast food should not be eaten at breakfast. Breakfast food is meant to be eaten in the middle of the night. Waffle House exists for this very purpose.

137. There is a joint addiction of board games and card games in this house. Current count? Board games (51). Card games (10). Update: The counts have increased substantially. I'm too lazy to go count.

138. I hate going to bed.

139. I hate waking up in the morning.

140. I believe, at this point, that money could absolutely buy my happiness … or put me on the road toward it. Update: Still painfully true.

141. When I get really stressed out at work (aka: pissed off at everyone around me), I find myself singing extremely silly songs in my head. “I have a lovely bunch of coconuts …” “Where is my hairbrush? Oh, where is my hairbrush …”

142. There are no “bad” words. There is only ill-used verbiage. A well placed expletive has its time and place and can, in fact, enhance any statement, question or exclamation.

143. I had a great snogging (make-out) session with some random hot English boy on a British Airways flight between Nairobi and London once. I had been home for the summer. He was on his way home from a Kenyan holiday visiting whoever. If I asked his name … I sure don’t remember it now.

144. Sawyer is my constant. Update: This is the last season of LOST. Sniff.

145. Son (8 year old): "Can I have cupcakes for dinner?" Me: “Negative Ghostrider, the pattern is full.” ~Top Gun, Film (1986) [Does it suck that I parent via movie quotes?]

146. It has taken me 34+ frustrating years to realize the secret to a pretty ponytail is to actually DO one's hair first? Does that make sense? That defeats the purpose of a ponytail, yes?

147. It is acceptable, nay … totally groovy, to do things differently … to go against the grain … to shatter all expectation and to hell with those who don’t like it.

148.
Someone recently asked if we ladies name our boobs. Not really, no. At least, not me. What would I name them? ::sigh:: I answered: "Thing One & Thing Two" ~ Oi! I'm going to hell for referencing Dr Seuss in a boob conversation.

149. Daily after-work conundrum: Write/Blog **or** Responsible Parenting. I don't know. Do the kids need to eat?? (Note: Obviously the responsibility wins this argument or my blog entries would be more frequent and far more original.)

150. “Don’t make me angry. You won’t like me when I’m angry.” ~Bruce Banner

151. I once complained about doing chores late. Eldest child: “What does it matter? You don't sleep anyway.” Me: “Touché, Monsier Pussycat. Touché.”

152. How have I not seen this episode of Firefly? Bastards just CUT OFF Mal's ear??? WTH? [Well, now you know what I do while I’m writing these random lists.]

153. Speaking of Firefly … a year ago I was working my way through the filmography of James McAvoy (see #62). I’ve moved on to Nathan Fillion and I haven’t missed an episode of
Castle yet!!

154. VH1 needs me to write their 'Top 100' list commentary. Boo, the bad puns!! Boo!

155. The ability to predict weather changes via my knees is a total bitch.

156. I have no balance in life. My yin regularly bites my yang in the ass.

157. I'm not much of a ooh-that-vehicle-is-so-hot type of person, but have you SEEN the 2010 Chevy Camaro (http://tinyurl.com/6yb422)?? I. WANT. THAT. CAR.

158. Sometimes I just need to be rescued. Tough, independent woman persona be damned.

159. I have a superpower. It’s called P.R.O.C.R.A.S.T.I.N.A.T.I.O.N.

160. "Do things. Do them well. Then, right away, do something totally different and do it even better." - Jim Henson

161. Screw SPEW (Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare)!!!! I need a house elf. [That would be a Harry Potter reference.]

162. If, perchance, any of these entries sound ridiculously familiar … I raided a lot of my more random
tweets to help “fill in the blanks” when I found myself stumped. Then again, you’d have to be on Twitter to even notice.

163. I listen to the song “I Remember You” from Skid Row just about once every day. I miss an odd day every now and then, but it isn’t often.

164. I have a habit of repeating myself.

165. I have a habit of repeating myself.

166. If I could pick any celebrity to play me in a movie about my life it would be Charlize Theron. Of course, she is far more statuesque and stunning.

167. I absolutely hated country music until my dad dragged me to the Grand Ole Opry at the end of my tenth grade year (1990). I went into that building pitching a massive teenage hissy-fit about having to be there. I came out a bona fide country music convert. It still isn’t my favorite genre, but I do love a bit of it every now and then.

168. I don’t have any surviving grandparents. I wish there had been opportunity for me to get to know them better.

169. I’m naturally blonde (though it’s getting darker), but I have a teeny tiny patch of hair on the back of my head that is course, a bit kinky and black as tar. When I was two, our Kenyan helper came running to my mother with me tucked under his arm … pointing at those few hairs sticking out of the wispy white blonde. He thought I had been in Africa too long and I was beginning to “become” an African – beginning with my hair.

170. “It's my life. It's now or never. I ain't gonna live forever. I just want to live while I'm alive. My heart is like an open highway. Like Frankie said, ‘I did it my way.’ I just wanna live while I'm alive. It's my life.” ~Bon Jovi

171. You know where "Life Sucks" meets "I Can't Take This Anymore?" I'm there.

172. I’m not going in a movie theater five minutes late. I’ll catch the next show, thank you. But, the first five minutes are all previews. Yes, I know. I happen to *adore* the previews.

173. I was briefly unemployed for four months in 2004 and almost went INSANE!! I complain about HAVING to work instead of CHOOSING to work, but I would always choose to work.

174. I cuss like a sailor. I’ve never understood that phrase though. It’s been my experience that those hot marine type boys use much filthier language than the navy or army men.

175. I don’t have a high school class ring. My father refused to buy one citing that I would much rather have one from university when the time came. Wrong. I will one day retroactively purchase a class ring that represents my awesome high school years.

176. Socks. I hate them.

177. I think every person on this planet needs to watch “
Into The Wild” at least once. More then once would be ideal. It is one profound cinematic experience and could change your life … or the way you look at it.

178. I love to sit in the sauna at the gym post-workout but I think about that scene in “Goldeneye” between James Bond and Xenia Onatopp every single time I go in there. Every. Time.

179. I’m strolling down a sidewalk or across a parking lot when … oh-lookie-there-is-a-random-rock-sitting-on-this-paved-surface. I must kick it!!!

180. When I was about seven my mother (the librarian) started a seminary library in Kenya from scratch using donated books from churches and private collections. I have typed many a card catalog card and filed many a book. The dewey decimal system is no match for me!! Perhaps I should have become a librarian.

181. I think that removing Pluto from the list of traditional planets and making it a dwarf planet is the single most asinine decision the modern scientific community has ever made.

182. I can’t be bothered with coupons.

183. I have an obsession with watching home improvement television shows. Why? I don’t own. I rent and can't make major changes to my apartment.

184. My oldest son is now a teenager. I’m too young to have a teenager. It scares me to death.

185. When I was 19 I contracted a hideous case (is there any other kind) of measles and landed myself in Nairobi hospital. My eyesight was affected and I had to keep the room dark. In order to pass the time I had mom read The Lord of the Rings out loud for the three days of my confinement. I should have been grateful. Instead, I spent the time correcting her pronunciation of all the names and places. To this day I’m amazed that she kept reading.

186. I was a campus photographer in high school and college. I desperately want to own my own decent photography equipment. Even my digital camera is total crap. Donations are accepted.

187. In college I was shooting a football game from the sidelines when I noticed the wide receiver for our home team heading in my direction. I knew what was coming before it happened but had nowhere to run. People have told me he and I hit the ground pretty darn hard … but I managed to keep the camera in my hand and elevated throughout the ordeal. See? Being a tomboy and playing rugby with the boys has a purpose.

188. My children and I, when in a waiting room or a car or just plain bored, ponder aloud words we think sound weird: hippopotamus, follicle, nostril, waft, asphalt, etc. Go ahead, run with it. It’s fun!

189. I am absolutely great at making plans. I absolutely suck at following through on them. This applies only to my personal life as I am highly efficient in my work environment.

190. I have a small scar on the inside of my left wrist. My brother was swinging around a piece of sheet metal (Don’t ask why because I don’t know.) and he got a bit too close to me. I lifted my hands to protect my face. Inevitably, if people notice, they try to find some way to ask me if I once tried to commit suicide by slitting my wrists. Just for the record: I have not. I am quite glad the scar continues to diminish with each passing year.

191. Superstitions strike me as silly. Still, I’m not walking under a ladder any time soon and I have been known to knock on wood.

192. I love the feeling of sliding into a tightly made bed with freshly washed sheets.

193. I don’t make my bed every morning. Hell, I don’t make my bed ANY morning. I do make the bed when I wash the sheets, but that usually isn’t in the morning.

194. I’ve never had Poison Ivy, but I keep a bottle of calamine lotion in the house.

195. I have seen the Mona Lisa and Michelangelo’s David and Milan’s Duomo Cathedral and Rembrandt’s Night Watch and the Eiffel Tower and the Coliseum in Rome and the astounding collection of Egyptian artifacts at The British Museum and The Little Mermaid in Copenhagen … and more. I love Europe and I have the greatest parents ever.

196. You know that joke in “The Breakfast Club” that Bender (Judd Nelson) tells while he is crawling up in the ceiling tiles: “Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, I guess you won't be needing a drink. Naked lady says...” He never finishes it as he falls through the ceiling. Anyone know the ending to this joke? Does it have an ending? It’s been driving me crazy for 20 years so, please, feel free to share if you have insider information. Update: Someone make up an ending for this thing. Please!

197. There are a lot of stories I would love to share on my blog that I don’t. I think I’ve mentioned before that my mother logs on and read it from time to time. Alas!

198. My brain is my own worst enemy.

199. I am a firm believer that it takes a lifetime to TRULY get to know someone.

200. See? I finished! Perseverance, baby! “Goonies never say die!” ~Goonies, Film (1985)

Whew! Again, I was thinking about making this an annual list. Having now written the second one … I’m not so sure. Maybe if I start on next year’s list now and work on it for 365 days I’ll be a bit more satisfied with it. M – A – Y – B – E.

22 comments:

  1. If you manage to get a House Elf, promise to send it my way every now and then.

    # 160 is a VERY ENTP thing to say / believe. :)

    As for # 171, I have the feeling you're not a 'hug person' but I'll force this one on you anyway. (((bearhug)))
    It might not seem like it right now but will get better.

    # 193; My kinda girl! Why make the bed if you're just going to sleep in it again?

    # 195; Your parents rock.
    Did you see the Winged Victory of Samothrace? (had it been already created when thou was last in the Louvre? :P ) I spent half an hour looking at it from various angles. No words.

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  2. I just gotta say - you write very well and your blog is hilarious! Love it! Oh, and what exactly is the point in making the bed? I don't bother - it's just going to get slept in again. And Castle is awesome!

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  3. Mo ~ Do I seem like the type of person that might share her house elf?? :o)

    #171 - Very astute of you. I'm not generally much of a hug person, but the there are those days where the need becomes unbearable. Remember. ((hugs))

    #195 - OI! Infant!! Yes, I remember the Winged Victory of Samothrace well. It is mesmerizing.

    twiga92 ~ Hey girl! Thanks for the stop by and the compliment.

    And, it is oddly comforting to know that I am not alone in my refusal to make my bed. If I had any guilt in the first place regarding this matter, it would now be assuaged!

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  4. Impressive list. I tried to do 99 facts for my 99th blog post, but I only got about halfway.

    Incidentally, if you want to learn some new games of cards, check out pagat.com (run by one of my friends) which has rules from across the world.

    And speaking of spellcheckers, why is it that Firefox doesn't like 'blog'? (or 'Firefox'!)

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  5. Rachel ~ Lovely to have you visit. Admittedly, the first 100 flowed quite easily for me. Not so much with this list, but it was still quite fun to write. Finish your list. You'll be glad you did. I'm always game for more cards. Thank you for the link.

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  6. Oh my gosh, this is a mammoth list - and I could comment on most of...ut a few choice notes - I am loving Castle too, entirely due to Nathan Fillion. The makeout on the airplane is classic - I once made out w a girl in Seattle youth hostel. I want to copy you now (and I realize that you've now done two) and do a list like this...but I think it would take me 6 months! Well done...

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  7. Alex ~ It is mammoth. Personally, I think everyone should do at least one ... published or not. It's amazing what you learn about yourself.

    Seattle youth hostel? That's fantastic.

    You are right. Fillion's performance is carrying Castle right now. Knock on wood. I hope it stays around for a few seasons.

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  8. I believe, at this point, that money could absolutely buy my happiness ... or put me on the road toward it.

    Same here. I lived comfortably for years then after my divorce have struggled financially ever since.

    It makes me happy to feed my soul. Some of the ways I used to do that, when money wasn't as hard to come by, was to buy good books, go to great concerts, travel to new places.

    Now, I either can't do those things or I feel guilty when I do, because I can't really afford them.

    Sigh.

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  9. Ah, dada yangu katika mama ngene...we parent with movie quotes all the time. Thank the good Lord for Monty Python or I wouldn't make it through these toddler years with sanity in tact.

    Bon Jovi always makes my heart smile.

    And spell check really doesn't have a clue what to do with Swahili.

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  10. You want to live in Dallas?

    Your nucking futz!

    I will trade you even - steven.

    As far as the Breakfast Club joke goes, it was all adlib, there is no punch line, and several sites that have asked for a punchline never got any that sounded very funny.

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  11. Impressive list and highly amusing! Apparently we are a nation of unmade beds!? Add me to the list...for it is a waste of energy.

    #143 I think his name was Alfie...

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  12. musing ~ Oddly enough, I'm better off post-divorce despite the drop in income. My ex was/is a compulsive spender. I'm still broke, but at least now my bills are paid.

    Dori ~ Spell check HATES Swahili. I can't fathom why! :o)

    LarryLilly ~ WELCOME to you! Yes, I love DFW. It is a fault. ::sigh::

    Lisa ~ #143 ... YOU ARE AWESOME!! Actually, if memory recalls correctly, he was THAT hot and THAT charming.

    Non bed makers unite!!!

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  13. You are one talented writer, Beth. And we have so many things in common, starting with #101 and many many others. You make me laugh. Aloud. Ciao

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  14. Lola ~ Grazie!! You are sweet. Too bad I can not visit with you in person. I have a feeling we could sit at a cafe all afternoon without a loss of conversation.

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  15. If any of you are brave enough, I'd love to hear your comments on the first 100. :o)

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  16. Someone gave me an avocado today...they're hard to get here, so I shall carry it home gently and make guacamole.

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  17. Bybee ~ Mmmmmmm guacamole!! I'm off for Mexican & margaritas now. Good thing too or I would have ended up at the grocery searching for a good avacado to make my own.

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  18. Hi Beth,

    In an effort to bring my reader out of bankruptcy, I popped into your blog, to comment..

    I don't recall if I've commented, before, so I'll tell you that I'm Heidi. I'm a Cali mom, transplanted to the LowCountry, South Carolina.

    I enjoyed your list and applaud your perseverance. I'm afraid if I tried to do this project, mine would look very similar to yours, sans Animaniacs, plus socks. :) That sewing thing is just a side thing, now, too. haha

    ~Heidi (withaz.net)

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  19. I laughed...out loud & WITH GUSTO. I cried. I wet myself (just a few drops).

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  20. Wow!! I don't even know that much about myself!! :) I particularly laughed at 81 on the list of 1 - 100. Thank you for sharing, and sharing, and sharing :)

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  21. Brilliant! I've read through the 200 and I now know more about you than I do about me! naked honesty driven by sublime, driest of dry wits. Addictive reading. All I can say is, 'I would....' ;)x

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  22. Oy! It is high time I answered the last few comments:

    @CarolinaDreamz ~ You should do a list ... even if you choose not to publish.

    @Reade ~ TMI, dude. TMI.

    @Robert ~ You are welcome. Yes, if you made it past 81 and then STILL came to read 101-200 ... I am amazed. See you on Twitter!

    @Life Is Art ~ The most welcome of welcomes to you! LIFE *IS* ART, indeed.

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"Stranger, if you passing meet me and desire to speak to me, why should you not speak to me? And why should I not speak to you?" ~Walt Whitman

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