Feeling Carnivorous

I’m a born carnivore. In fact, let me introduce you to my favorite restaurant on the planet. Want to take a guess as to the name? Ladies & Gentlemen, I give you The Carnivore: great food (vegetables optional) during dining hours & a fabulous nightclub after hours.

Let me take this moment to deny any rumors you may hear or read regarding my ability to out eat the boys rugby players during eating competitions at this all-you-can eat grill. There is no proof that this ever occurred … no photographic evidence … just the word of a few highly untrustworthy (wink) individuals.

That was another life. I don’t eat like that. I do, however, think that steak is the perfect food which is what makes my current situation all the more difficult. I finally became motivated enough to really buckle down on my eating habits. Not diet. I don’t diet. But, I do need to eat in a more healthy fashion. I began several days ago and I’ve been doing well (a lot of green vegetables & a little lean meat – the usual) … until today. By the time I left work there was only one thing on my mind, “I want red meat. Seriously. I. WANT. RED. MEAT.”

I’ve had protein: fish, chicken, turkey, eggs … even almonds. Protein is important and these things I can consume in moderation. Beef is a weakness. Truthfully, now, who eats an American Heart Association recommended 3 or 4 ounce steak? Who? Do you know how small that is? Miniscule. It’s tiny! I can’t trust myself with red meat because I can’t handle the portion control.

Tonight … for dinner … I caved. I ate steak. I ate a lot of steak. You know what? It was SO good. Part of me thinks I should feel a wee bit guilty for cheating. Oh, no worries, it is a very, very, very, very small part. In fact – oh – oops – look at that – it’s gone.

"Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about!" ~Troy McClure

Seriously folks, with steak on the planet … who needs chocolate?

Epic. Self-Esteem. Fail.

Several hours ago what resided in this space was a far different post. If you read it: Great! If you commented: I apologize, but they are now gone. If you missed it: Well, apparently you missed a grand opportunity to completely misinterpret what was written as it pertained to me as an individual.

The message of that post was this:
1. I found myself in a new situation.
2. I allowed my self-esteem issues to get the best of me.
3. I spent a week angry at myself.
4. I have harnessed that anger to physically & mentally attack the self doubt in order to boost my own confidence for the future.

I had shared an extremely short version of the situation on my prior entry but, quite apparently, there were either far too many details or far too much vagueness to effectively communicate the four points above. The information given has been deciphered in a number of different ways and I have heard about them all. There were only a couple of blog comments, but I did receive a few emails and it was discussed in an instant message conversation as well. It is rare that I do not convey myself in words exactly as I intended. I must admit, in this case, that I did not do such a great job.

Interestingly enough, however, there was a statement in the first comment that has sat with me all evening. It read:

“If there were any spark of possibility in this then you wouldn't have been so plagued with self-doubt - not at your age.”

I’m curious. At what age, exactly, do we stop being plagued with self-doubt? I know the general consensus is that we grow into ourselves and become more comfortable in our skin as we age … but is there a magic age at which point self-esteem issues vanish? Did I miss it? Surely I’m not the only woman human in the mid-thirties do doubt myself.

“It's easy to be confident when you have control of the puck. It's very difficult to keep that confidence when you have to take whatever strange bounces life throws your way. Don't be careless, but don't be too careful either. You cannot be afraid to lose. That's how you gain the confidence - attack the game when the puck isn't yours.” ~D3: The Mighty Ducks, Film (1996)*

*The inner tomboy in me loves sports movies. Even the cheesy ones offer up some brilliant dialogue now and then. This one is crazy accurate. I had control of the puck. The game was mine to lose and I became afraid. The lesson I (re)learned (for I used to always be on the offensive) was to “attack the game” when the puck isn’t mine.

Magic 8-Ball

Finn posted the following meme. She didn’t tag me, but I figured this would give you all more to read while my brain tries to wrap it’s way around the REAL posts that are, I promise, forthcoming.

1. Birthday festivities for a friend next weekend
2. Four day weekend for Memorial Day
3. Riverfest (Heart, Hinder, 3 Doors Down, etc.)
4. Big K’s birthday & the most awesome gifts ever
5. A coworker being on a much needed 2 week vacation
6. Summer movies
7. HOT weather
8. Hair, Nails & Pedicure this week
Magic 8-Ball Says: “Outlook Good”

1. Woke up
2. Breakfast date with Little K
3. Cursed the thunderstorms
4. Read 2 chapters of Fablehaven aloud to the boys
5. Cleaned a little of this & a little of that
6. Cursed the thunderstorms some more
7. Ordered pizza
8. Slept. Yes, I actually got some sleep.
Magic 8-Ball Says: “Ask Again Later”

1. Lose the weight
2. Write for a living
3. Travel at will
4. Complete my college degree
5. Have financial security
6. Sing well
7. Be content
8. Find love despite the fact that I’m not searching for it
Magic 8-Ball Says: “Don’t Count On It”

2. Castle
3. My Boys
5. Southland
6. Dollhouse
7. Heroes (Yes, still.)
8. American Idol
Magic 8-Ball Says: “It Is Certain”

There was a section here on 8 people to tag, but I don’t tag. Would any of you do it anyway?
Magic 8-Ball Says: “My Sources Say No”


"233,000 people just twittered on Twitter. 26% of you viewing this have NO idea what that means." ~Sprint Commercial

So, yeah … I’m on Twitter. Follow Me!

There is an actually blog entry in the works. Two Three, actually, but they need to cook a little longer. So, feast on my tweets (excluding those responding to other Twitterers and those from
blip.fm) from Monday – Friday of this week:

Morning Tweetfolk … I hesitate to wish anyone a "happy" anything, but... Happy Star Wars Day. May the 4th be with you. Huzzah.

Reboot! Reboot! R-E-B-O-O-T! It's only 0919 and this day ... yeah, she ain't gonna be a good one. REBOOT!

Question asked. Random phone tech: "Ask Beth. She seems to do everyone's job around here." He's only been here 4 days. VALIDATION!

I am not amused in the slightest.

Little League game cancelled tonight. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

I had to go to a pre-registration meeting at the high school for my eldest. HIGH SCHOOL. I'm not ready for this.

Season finale of CASTLE next week! Already? ::sigh:: Time to bust out the Firefly DVD set. Who am I kidding? It's always out.

Happy Tuesday. Happy Cinco de Mayo. Happy it's my ex's birthday. Meh.

Arsenal-1 vs ManU-3!! W00T! MANCHESTER UNITED!

And ... I just took a knee to the lip. This is what happens when one wrestles with her children. #thejoysofprocreation*

*The “#” symbol on Twitter traditionally indicates a phrase or words used quite often. The concept gets abused. I abuse it.

Fellow LOSTies, look who is here:

It's bloody well raining and storming AGAIN! Enough is enough, already.

If this thunderstorm screws with my #idol DVR recording I will not be a happy person.

Strike that. I'll live, but the little person & teenager in this house will make me so miserable that I will still be an unhappy person.

I will now bid a fond good eve to Twitter as the #idol tweets & spoilers have started. I watch later on DVR. Be back soon Tweetfolk!

My #idol voting text thumb got numb. This is why I have teenager to continue the madness.

Word to 9 yr old: Membrane. Response: It's, like, ONE of your brains ... isn't it?

Diner sign: Chubby Cheese Basket & Drink $5.99 ~~ WTF is that? Would YOU want to eat it?

Well, there's just nothing quite like sitting up at 0100 keeping tabs on a 'tornado watch.' Oh well. I was awake anyway. ::sigh::

Oy! When my E Africa tweetfolk begin to wake and starting waving at each other across the internet, I really should be asleep.

And ... now my friends in the UK are up. #sleepfail

I shall now attempt a bit of slumber. Again. Read: Staring at the ceiling and listening to the ever present thunder of late. #epicsleepfail

Ark Building 101: Gopher wood. 300 x 50 x 30 cubits. Carpentry is not in my skill set. My ark will sink. Boo.

Weather Report. Thu: Partly Cloudy. Fri-Wed: Thunderstorms. These incessant storms have me in a most foul disposition.

You know that moment in LOST between Sawyer & the tree frog? I'm having one of those moments with a coworker who is "One Of Them" indeed.

FB friend told me my eyes are beautiful, deep & sexy. Taking the compliment, but wondering how many pics he flipped through. Hmmm?

::Sigh:: Idol, LOST &
@LAGalaxy all at 2000, my time. This is why I love my DVR.

@LAGalaxy isn't airing in #iliveinredeckhell AGAIN! I'll have to "watch" on the computer. #ihearttechnology

2nd Half: RSL - 1 vs
@LAGalaxy - 0. Grrrr.

I heart Donovan!!

Holy hell!

Sleep will have to wait! Nathan Fillion is on Craig Ferguson tonight.

I've been awake for 48 hours. #epicsleepfail

Meh. Work. And ... I'm eating chocolate cake at my desk for breakfast. Don't judge. "Dad is great. Give us the chocolate cake." ~Cosby

Java. Java. Java. Java. Java. Java. Java. Java. Java. Java. Java. Java. Java. Java. Java. Java. Java. Java. Java. Java. Java. Java. Java.

Safety Meeting. Ugh. "Slips, Trips & Falls": Would it be wrong to fake slipping, tripping or falling on my way out of the meeting?

Little people baseball. 90F - I'm sweating & oh so happy that it is warm & not raining.

Did you know Ichabod Crane umpires little league in #iliveinredneckhell? Well, now you do.

Watching 'The Little Mermaid' because I can. Yes, as a matter of fact, I do have a crush on the animated Prince Eric.

I just caught a slug trying to sneak into my place. TOO. MUCH. RAIN. OK, so he wasn't sneaking. He was in. He is now out.

Just purchased Idol Tour Tix for my eldest's birthday. ROW 6, Baby! Why, yes, I am the coolest mom ever.

I just told the copier to make me "coffee" instead of a "copy." #singleminded Yes, I speak to inanimate objects.

Two words this Friday eve: Star Trek!

Pre-movie festivities in the theater included Star Trek trivia for a comic store gift certificate. It's in my purse. #imahipgeekchick


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