Epic. Self-Esteem. Fail.

Several hours ago what resided in this space was a far different post. If you read it: Great! If you commented: I apologize, but they are now gone. If you missed it: Well, apparently you missed a grand opportunity to completely misinterpret what was written as it pertained to me as an individual.

The message of that post was this:
1. I found myself in a new situation.
2. I allowed my self-esteem issues to get the best of me.
3. I spent a week angry at myself.
4. I have harnessed that anger to physically & mentally attack the self doubt in order to boost my own confidence for the future.

I had shared an extremely short version of the situation on my prior entry but, quite apparently, there were either far too many details or far too much vagueness to effectively communicate the four points above. The information given has been deciphered in a number of different ways and I have heard about them all. There were only a couple of blog comments, but I did receive a few emails and it was discussed in an instant message conversation as well. It is rare that I do not convey myself in words exactly as I intended. I must admit, in this case, that I did not do such a great job.

Interestingly enough, however, there was a statement in the first comment that has sat with me all evening. It read:

“If there were any spark of possibility in this then you wouldn't have been so plagued with self-doubt - not at your age.”

I’m curious. At what age, exactly, do we stop being plagued with self-doubt? I know the general consensus is that we grow into ourselves and become more comfortable in our skin as we age … but is there a magic age at which point self-esteem issues vanish? Did I miss it? Surely I’m not the only woman human in the mid-thirties do doubt myself.

“It's easy to be confident when you have control of the puck. It's very difficult to keep that confidence when you have to take whatever strange bounces life throws your way. Don't be careless, but don't be too careful either. You cannot be afraid to lose. That's how you gain the confidence - attack the game when the puck isn't yours.” ~D3: The Mighty Ducks, Film (1996)*

*The inner tomboy in me loves sports movies. Even the cheesy ones offer up some brilliant dialogue now and then. This one is crazy accurate. I had control of the puck. The game was mine to lose and I became afraid. The lesson I (re)learned (for I used to always be on the offensive) was to “attack the game” when the puck isn’t mine.


  1. 42 years old

    Thats for a woman

    For men, its right around 13.



    Back to the women. I have found from my encounters with women in real that when they hit 40's, they have finally gotten back the confidence they had just PRIOR to puberty. Yep, that much time was/is spent in a haze of doubt. At early 40's women are confident in their knowledge, their body; even if they dont like the look, and their attitude that dam it, I dont want coral I demand Apricot!

    They know what they want and they are no longer to accept less. Its for this reason that fun time with woman that age is so much, well fun. If you make the cut, stay on your toes and enjoy the ride. But one slipup, and your out like used newsprint in the bottom of the birdcage.

  2. What? Printed word was misread and misinterpreted? That's just crazy!

    There will always be self doubt. Always. It just varies in its intensity and scope.

    Well done, however, for taking the situation and turning it into an opportunity to grow instead of wallowing in self pity and useless pining. And I got that before--I simply wanted to point out that an opportunity missed is not necessarily the same as an opportunity lost.

  3. @LarryLilly ~ 42?? So random.

    @Dori ~ Oh, I know luv. I took no issue with your comment. It made me feel better, actually.

  4. I'm in my mid-forties and still struggle with self-doubt, though I'm not sure if that will make you feel better or worse. :)

  5. “We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!”- Douglas Adams

    Doubt is merely our spiritual greatness demanding to be fulfilled by knowledge and experience.

    “We're not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be”- C.S. Lewis


"Stranger, if you passing meet me and desire to speak to me, why should you not speak to me? And why should I not speak to you?" ~Walt Whitman


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