Fire and Ice


Nobody in this house will ever be comfortable.

I used to be a human thermometer. In a world where half the women are perpetually freezing and the other half are burning up… I seemed to be a constant. My office has five such women. Somebody is always too cold. Somebody is always too hot. The gentleman in charge of regulating the heat and air conditioning throughout the building used to poke his head into the office and wait for me to give him thumbs up or thumbs down. Thumbs up = It’s comfortable in here. Thumbs down = Come on in and ask me if it is too hot or too cold, because it is one of those things, but don’t listen to the crazy ladies who are arguing. I have the truth. It has been this way for three years.

No longer.

My internal thermostat is broken. Monday, at work, I thought a blizzard was blowing in. So cold. I was the only one and it was extremely strange. Why? Usually it is the polar (no pun intended) opposite. Oh, I’m not having hot flashes. We can rule out that theory, I think. Sorry for bringing it up boys, but nothing would make me happier then for that to happen. That equipment isn’t being used anyway. I had it all fixed (twice, long story) nine years ago. I will rejoice the day my ovaries shut down. No, generally I am HOT. All. The. Time. To me, being hot is far preferable to being cold but I am particularly warm after about 2030 in the evening… much to the dismay of my children.

I am fire. They are ice.

How I gave birth to two of the most cold-natured children on planet earth is beyond me. It makes sense with Big K. There is no meat there. Bones clatter. Little K, though, is thick and muscular; however, he radiates heat. I can feel the fire coming off the boy a foot or two away. The only logical explanation is that he is giving off heat so quickly that his body is unable to retain any of its own warmth. I’m hot. My kids are cold. So, I’ve turned the thermostat down farther than I normally like to keep it ($$) and yet not as far down as I WANT to turn it in order to be happy. I don’t get cool enough for me to be perfectly comfortable, but the boys are cold enough that they wander around in long sleeves or wrapped in blankets.

See? No one in this house will ever be comfortable.

Fire and Ice
Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.
~Robert Frost


9 comments:

  1. I've been a cold person from day one. It stopped only when I was preganant.

    When I had hot flashes, I'd get all hot and sweaty, then freeze when they were over.

    Summer in Florida is horrible for me. It's hot as Hell outside, then you go inside and I'm turning blue because I'm freezing.

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  2. It is something that I often ponder. As a guide when I worked at lodges, one is always driving with open vehicles. You meet guests at the runway and tell them it's winter. They laugh and say that we don't know what winter is. Then out with the open vehicle, even if it isn't that cold yet, they are freezing. When its hot, it is just the opposite, everyone is too hot. My theory about these things has become (and this is after years of observing this...in this one thing I am an expert...) that people live in such thermally controlled environments these days that when they are exposed to the slightest variation in temperature they can't take it. Every once in a while I would have a guest who is a motor bike rider or very outdoors person and you would see that they are just fine.

    Having said that, I also prefer hot to cold, by far. And my kids (and their mom) love the cold. My boys will fight my attempts to put on cloths when I am freezing.

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  3. Finn ~ I have a general distate for air conditioning though... in the humid south it is a bit of a necessity. Read Vernon's comment. We grew up together and typically didn't have a/c in Africa.

    Vernon ~ Proof that I have officially been in the USA too long. Yes, the climate controlled building have broken my once useful internal thermostate. Sigh.

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  4. I love your graphic, by the way. So, how do you figure your equatorial blood plays into all this? Clearly, it enables you to withstand temperatures that would make the rest of us quickly wither. But do you think it likewise warms you in the cold weather? Just wondering... ;-)

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  5. It is a great graphic. I found it on Google images. If my blood warms me in winter then it doesn't do a very good job. I *abhor* winter and I freeze... or, I used to. We'll find out if it is different this year.

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  6. It was always cold in that office. Mike baught me a huge electric blanket to have in the Living Room so I would stop complaining about the fan.

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  7. Heh, I used to think I loved the cold then I went to France in late autumn.

    O.M.G.

    Nuff sed!

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  8. I know just what you mean, me and my sister have always had opposed thermostats...

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  9. A thought on "Fire and Ice." You know, Dante envisioned the lowest pit of hell as ice--

    And it makes sense, I think.

    I'm fire, myself, nearly always too warm. If I were living in the medieval period, I imagine they would bleed me out.

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