Conscious Treasures

I don’t do well with thanks. Seriously. I am not as grateful as I should be and I don’t accept gratitude very graciously at all. Usually, on this most American holiday, I post a tangent about my general dislike for the day. It isn’t that I don’t have things for which to be thankful… I simply don’t care for a holiday reminding me that I need to give thanks. I like celebration holidays not reminder holidays.

It’s been a particularly rough year for me. Griping about what I need or don’t have has been rather predominant. It’s easier than trying to recognize one’s treasures. My cache is so small that when I perch on it like a proud dragon my fat ass covers it all up and I have trouble identifying what is there. Let me move. Let’s see. I have …

My boys. They keep me sane… in a fashion. They also keep things crazy. We are quite insane together.

My parents. I received word that a friend of mine lost her father in a car accident yesterday. I am still lucky enough to have both parents and if something were to happen to my father the world might actually get to see me fall completely apart. He lives hours away but I still need him. Daddy’s little girl and all that jazz.

My sanity. Sigh. I tried.

My job. It isn’t my passion. It also isn’t where I prefer to spend forty or more hours of my week. But, it pays most of the bills and in this lovely economy I actually am grateful to be employed. Not to mention, we have the greatest crushed ice machine in the known universe.

My sucky apartment. It’s a roof and walls. Whew! Considering I don’t have a decent working vehicle right now… it would be no good for us to try living out of a car and I hate camping.

My health. For the most part, anyway. I don’t have cancer or any other form of terminal disease (that I know of). That’s a plus.

My plants. No need to call the Houseplant Rescue Team. I’ve managed to keep three plants alive for more than a year now. This is no small accomplishment for me.

My fat. No, not really… but winter is looming and I’m freezing and something has to keep my equatorial blood warm. Since I can’t seem to lose the fat I might as well find a reason, regardless of how retarded, to be thankful for it.

My music. Tunes drive away the demons. Granted, my purchased off eBay four years ago iPod chose this year to stop holding a charge and I’m too poor to replace it. I still have music. It merely is no longer portable. Damn it.

Treasures counted. I feel no more alive for this little exercise. Better? Maybe. Alive? Not so much. Hell.

We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures. ~Thornton Wilder


  1. I giggle thinking of you as Smaug. I like Thanksgiving. I don't mind being reminded to be thankful. I'm used to it. Go to church every week and all. :D But I'll give you a quote that I made for my Facebook status yesterday. Use it or print it and burn it as symbolism, but here ya go: Let no hint of envy or jealously mar this day, for these are the hallmarks of the selfish and small. These are the wasteful emotions of one who sees only what he does not have, and turns his face away from his blessings in silent declaration of their inadequacy. Be grateful, even for that which you lack."

  2. Rachel ~ I adore dragons. =)

    BG ~ I might be fatter than Smaug! =) I love, love, love the quote!! LOVE IT!

  3. At the risk of sounding annoyingly positive--I hope 2010 is a better year for you. =)


    P.S. The word verification is: bollsabab -- kind of reminds me of the little prince's baobab tree (random thought thrown in).


"Stranger, if you passing meet me and desire to speak to me, why should you not speak to me? And why should I not speak to you?" ~Walt Whitman


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