Going On


This year is almost finished. Excuse me, Happy Dance a la Snoopy is about to commence. I’ve yet to participate in a Year End Meme, but there is a first time for everything. I’d list where I got the silly thing, but I’ve read five or six already and I don’t remember whose I read first. So there.

“Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.” ~Hal Borland

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?
The fact that I can’t summon anything… at all… out of my noggin is sad. Sad, indeed. Oh, wait! This meme! Boo. That’s just pitiful.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions and will you make more for next year?
About
my resolutions: I did eat a lot of beef, I did not jump out the office window, I continued to be nobody and I offered to go with the aliens but discovered they didn’t really want me either. Look at that. I didn’t do too badly with my nonsensicalness.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Not in proximity, but a number of friends from high school or college gave birth to their first child and each one has been a startling reminder to how much of a baby I was myself when Big K was born. He’s 14 now. On the bright side, I’ll only be 43 when my youngest graduates from high school and all these friends having babies now will have kids in elementary school… or younger. I win.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Family? No. Friends? No. For this I am truly thankful. I did mourn the passing of
the greatest teacher I have ever known.

5. What countries did you visit?
This question qualifies as cruel and unusual punishment for someone with a wandering heart who is stuck in the quagmire of circumstances… and the poor house.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
Obviously if I didn’t have it then I want it. Duh.

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
January 20 – Inauguration Day. You can’t ignore history in the making.
May 22-24 – Riverfest! Always a memorable weekend.
August 19 – My eldest child entered into high school. The horror.
December 16 – Big K hit the official age for a drivers learner’s permit in the state of Arkansas (14 ½). He didn’t go get one, mind you, but the date is etched in my mental history anyway. Remember: I’ve watched him play Mario Kart.
December 31 – This year finally come to an end.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I’m still here.

9. What was your biggest failure?
I’m still fat.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
No H1N1 for me. Swine Flu can kiss my ass.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Muse tickets.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My kids are amazing. Comparatively, to others their ages, I really don’t have any major behavioral problems with them. Seriously, I have good kids. That’s reason enough to celebrate for me.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
I try not to be too affected by the behavior of others. I definitely make an effort to not let it depress me. I do a good enough job of that on my own. I can be appalled, however, and somebody needs to slap the shit out of Tiger Woods.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Rent & bills. In truth, where else would it go? Oh, and my crazy pills.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
That’s a lot of “really”(s). Um… I got nothin’.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
Single Ladies by BeyoncĂ©. I mean… really… you couldn’t escape it. Somebody “put a ring on it” and bring that crap to an end.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer?
I am neither happier nor sadder. For a blink of an eye I might have been thinner. Don’t talk to me about money… please and thank you.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
My favorite life escape tactic: Movies. I need someone to fund my habit because I missed a number of films I wanted to see in the theater.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Eat. Cuss. Bitch. Damn it.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
I spent Christmas with my parents and my boys. It wasn’t so bad. I’ve been decidedly “Bah! Humbug!” about all holidays lately. It snowed about six inches during Christmas Eve. I abhor the snow but the excitement my children had over their white Christmas was a tad bit contagious.

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?
Bwahahahahaha! BWAHAHAHAHA… HAHA… HA…. Ha…ha! Whew.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
Recurring: LOST
New: Glee

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Lady Gaga

24. What was the best book you read?
The Graveyard Book by Neal Gaiman is the perfect book.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Oh, man… there were so many.
Marc Broussard ranks way on up there.

26. What did you want and get?
The Wii has landed.

27. What did you want and not get?
It would be most lovely and convenient to have a decent mode of transportation.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
The year isn’t over and I didn’t get to see all the movies that were on my list. I have high hopes for The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus, but it won’t be showing here until after the New Year. SO… based on what I have seen, and there were a lot of them, I am going to say
(500) Days of Summer. Disclaimer: I reserve the right to change my answer at any given moment and as many times as I would like.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 35. A couple of friends took me to P.F. Chang’s and we went to see G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. Ethnic food and an action flick… they know me so well.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
The ability to find Contentment. She’s a tricky and elusive bitch.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Beth + Personal Fashion Concept = WTF?

32. What kept you sane?
The ability to embrace my madness.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I want to do bad, bad things to Gerard Butler although this is not a new development for 2009. Lucky for me… this year gave me three Gerry films: The Ugly Truth,
Gamer and Law Abiding Citizen.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
If you’re in the USA… it’s hard not to pay attention to the Health Care fiasco.

35. Who did you miss?
In the last four months I’ve started dreaming about the same person at least two nights a week. So, courtesy of my retarded subconscious, I have been missing someone that would not normally be on my radar. Breathe easy. It’s not my ex, but still…

36. Who was the best new person you met?
I thrive off meeting new people. This year brought a number of new friends (and the return of old ones) into my life… many of them online… and I couldn’t possible single someone out as the best; however, a return trip to the East Coast is now warranted for I won’t be giving up my new found friendship with the delightful
Dori anytime soon. We attended the same high school (3 years apart) and knew of each other then, but now… Wow! “Well, lady, I must say—you're my kinda stupid.” Love you, chicka!

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.
“Whatever happened… happened.” ~LOST

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Good times for a change
See, the luck I've had
Can make a good man
Turn bad

So please please please
Let me, let me, let me
Let me get what I want
This time

Haven't had a dream in a long time
See, the life I've had
Can make a good man bad

So for once in my life
Let me get what I want
Lord knows, it would be the first time
Lord knows, it would be the first time
~The Smiths

Farewell 2009! You most definitely have not landed yourself on my "If I had a time machine I'd go back to...." list.

Passport Envy


Holiday revelation: My mother renewed her passport. Why? My father has been jaunting back and forth between Missouri and Senegal on various mission trips for the last two years. My mother, on the other hand, has been quite content, after 25 years of bouncing back and forth every four years between Kenya & USA, to burrow into her retirement nest and stay there… forever. The fact that she let her passport expire is proof positive that she intended to remain happily behind during all of dad’s trips. Alas! No more. If all works out as expected then my mother will be on an airplane with my father on their way to West Africa in late January.

I am 35 years old and I feel like an abandoned child. Retarded and juvenile, I know. Damn it.

My passport expired in 2004. I cried… not because I couldn’t renew it, but because I knew there would be no need. And, quite obviously, I was right. Six years later and I haven’t needed it. I never get to go anywhere. Even if opportunity were to present itself… the money gods would have a right raucous laugh at my expense. Bastards.

Wandering re-establishes the original harmony which once existed between man and the universe. ~Anatole France

I am in desperate need of a good wander.

Motherhood Days of Christmas


On the first day of Christmas,
My children gave to me
A thrashing on Nintendo Wii
♪ ♫♪♪ ♫♫♪♪ ♫♪♫♫ ♫


On the second day of Christmas,
My children gave to me
Two mismatched gloves,
And a thrashing on Nintendo Wii!
♪ ♫♪♪ ♫♫♪♪ ♫♪♫♫ ♫


On the third day of Christmas,
My children gave to me
Three texting trends,
Two mismatched gloves,
And a thrashing on Nintendo Wii!
♪ ♫♪♪ ♫♫♪♪ ♫♪♫♫ ♫


On the fourth day of Christmas,
My children gave to me
Four cups of curds,
Three texting trends,
Two mismatched gloves,
And a thrashing on Nintendo Wii!
♪ ♫♪♪ ♫♫♪♪ ♫♪♫♫ ♫


On the fifth day of Christmas,
My children gave to me
♪FIVE BRO-KEN SWINGS,♫
Four cups of curds,
Three texting trends,
Two mismatched gloves,
And a thrashing on Nintendo Wii!
♪ ♫♪♪ ♫♫♪♪ ♫♪♫♫ ♫


On the sixth day of Christmas,
My children gave to me
Six teachers a-praying,
♪FIVE BRO-KEN SWINGS,♫
Four cups of curds,
Three texting trends,
Two mismatched gloves,
And a thrashing on Nintendo Wii!
♪ ♫♪♪ ♫♫♪♪ ♫♪♫♫ ♫


On the seventh day of Christmas,
My children gave to me
Seven extra innings,
Six teachers a-praying,
♪FIVE BRO-KEN SWINGS,♫
Four cups of curds,
Three texting trends,
Two mismatched gloves,
And a thrashing on Nintendo Wii!
♪ ♫♪♪ ♫♫♪♪ ♫♪♫♫ ♫


On the eighth day of Christmas,
My children gave to me
Eight tubs a-leaking,
Seven extra innings,
Six teachers a-praying,
♪FIVE BRO-KEN SWINGS,♫
Four cups of curds,
Three texting trends,
Two mismatched gloves,
And a thrashing on Nintendo Wii!
♪ ♫♪♪ ♫♫♪♪ ♫♪♫♫ ♫


On the ninth day of Christmas,
My children gave to me
Nine troopers chasing,
Eight tubs a-leaking,
Seven extra innings,
Six teachers a-praying,
♪FIVE BRO-KEN SWINGS,♫
Four cups of curds,
Three texting trends,
Two mismatched gloves,
And a thrashing on Nintendo Wii!
♪ ♫♪♪ ♫♫♪♪ ♫♪♫♫ ♫


On the tenth day of Christmas,
My children gave to me
Ten spiders a-creeping,
Nine troopers chasing,
Eight tubs a-leaking,
Seven extra innings,
Six teachers a-praying,
♪FIVE BRO-KEN SWINGS,♫
Four cups of curds,
Three texting trends,
Two mismatched gloves,
And a thrashing on Nintendo Wii!
♪ ♫♪♪ ♫♫♪♪ ♫♪♫♫ ♫


On the eleventh day of Christmas,
My children gave to me
Eleven days of whining,
Ten spiders a-creeping,
Nine troopers chasing,
Eight tubs a-leaking,
Seven extra innings,
Six teachers a-praying,
♪FIVE BRO-KEN SWINGS,♫
Four cups of curds,
Three texting trends,
Two mismatched gloves,
And a thrashing on Nintendo Wii!
♪ ♫♪♪ ♫♫♪♪ ♫♪♫♫ ♫


On the twelfth day of Christmas,
My children gave to me
Twelve headaches thumping,
Eleven days of whining,
Ten spiders a-creeping,
Nine troopers chasing,
Eight tubs a-leaking,
Seven extra innings,
Six teachers a-praying,
♪FIVE BRO-KEN SWINGS,♫
Four cups of curds,
Three texting trends,
Two mismatched gloves,
And a thrashing on Nintendo Wii!

♪ ♫♪♪ ♫♫♪♪ ♫♪♫♫ ♫


MERRY CHRISTMAS!

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