It’s no secret how much I abhor winter and the cold that comes with it. If I wanted to live on Hoth then I would move to Antarctica… or, you know, Canada. As it stands, I do reside, grudgingly, in the northern hemisphere although I do live in the southern half of the United States and I am quite content with the general lack of winter weather that blows into this area.
But, I’ve spent a lot of time
Winter is mildly tolerable because…
During winter all the other Caucasians are just as vampire white as I am. Well, George Hamilton isn’t, but I don’t think he’s Caucasian. He’s just a really tall, well dressed Oompa Loompa.
The mosquitoes are gone. Bravo, winter. My body is like a smörgåsbord for the blood-sucking devil insects and my body’s fluid of life must be the finest of fine blood wines. Put me in a room with fifty people, release a thousand mosquitoes and I will leave that room with 1000 mosquito bites.
All the little teenage floozies have clothes on… real clothes that cover their bodies. Imagine that! This does not, however, stop me from attempting to convince my teenage son that they are all still just floozies in disguise. Mothers of the world: Be a parent and put some clothes on your daughters.
Soup. I can make soup, order soup, buy soup & eat soup every single day without having my sanity (or obvious
obsession love of soup) questioned.
I like boots. Correction: I like the way my legs look in boots. I try to transition straight from flip-flops to boots and, while I may end up with some nippy toes from time to time, this plan usually works well for me. I never do put the flip-flops away though… in case there is a warmer day. I’d rather be barefoot most of the time but that is generally frowned upon. Stupid societal expectations.
People fall on ice. It is amusing. I know. I know. Sometimes they fall and break things… on their bodies… but I still laugh at people who fall on ice. Yes, I am a horrible person. Thanks for noticing.
Speaking of me being a horrible person…
Humans tend to be a little cranky and slightly depressed during the dark, cold months of winter. It’s natural. This affords me the opportunity to be a little cranky and slightly depressed without the world wondering if I’ve taken my crazy pills.
Look at that! My fingers are still there.
Winter is nature's way of saying, "Up yours." ~Robert Byrne