Judge Not The Shoes Lest You Be Judged

“Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them.” ~Oscar Wilde

Yesterday was Monday. Grocery day. I came home from work, got the boys and off we went to Wal-Mart because, despite how much I despise the Evil Empire, I can’t afford the nicer grocery store in this town. I was cranky and, within minutes of entering the store, I was even more irritable and snappy. Monday had not been good to me and, even though it was only the first of the month, I was convinced March was already broken. My poor boys.

And then shoes lightened the mood. Yes, shoes. No, not in the way you think. I was not engaging in retail therapy. Shudder. Have you seen the shoes Wal-Mart is carrying these days? No? My point exactly. I wandered down the shoe aisle in order to cut around someone else who wouldn’t move out of the main aisle when I saw them. The shoes. Ugly shoes. Nay, the ugliest shoes I have ever seen. My best description: They were a slightly heeled, light purplish/lavender sort of jelly-ish type shoe with flecks of multi-colored “paint” chips interspersed within and little white circles all over them. There were two pairs and they were on sale.

I grabbed a pair of these freaking ugly shoes, held them aloft and announced in no quiet voice to any and everyone that was within earshot, “There is a REASON these are ON SALE!!!” Little K dissolved into laughter in the aisle. Big K laughed… while he bolted for cover in typical, “Oh, Mom” teen embarrassment and then tried to cover up his retreat by going to the water fountain… two aisles to the left and back into the restroom/former layaway part of the store. “I was thirsty.” He mumbled upon his return. Mmmmm hmmmm. Yeah. I believe you were just thirsty.

Man, I wish I had taken a photograph of those shoes. Oh, and next to the ugliest shoes ever… were some sort of red crushed velvet clog sort of things. Yeah, they were that ugly too.


  1. I too saw the crushed velvet "clogsortofthing"....just beastly. But you know sure as shit there is some lady out there sportin' em thinking she's all that. =)

  2. Mondays always suck. It doesn't matter what happens or doesn't happen; it seems that Monday is just never a good day for any one. But at least you were able to inject some humor in your evening and cap-off the day okay. Enjoyed reading this one. And next time I am at the Evil Empire, I'll make it a point to casually stroll by the ladies' shoes and have a look (as long as I'm sure no one's watching me!)

  3. Somewhere, out there, are people wearing those shoes. Think about that.

  4. Lisa ~ Boy, the teen and I have laughed and laughed over this comment and the one's you made on Twitter. So great.

    Mr. Poole ~ Most assuredly, your WalMart doesn't carry the same trash as my WalMart.

    Finn ~ The teen claims to be staring at everyone's shoes in school in hopes of capturing one of these hideous pairs... on an actual foot via his camera phone. You are right. This is a small small town and someone bought that shit.

  5. wow, great post i really like it.
    keep posting stuff like this


"Stranger, if you passing meet me and desire to speak to me, why should you not speak to me? And why should I not speak to you?" ~Walt Whitman


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