What Shakespeare Meant... or Did He?

Image obtained from Impact Books

The Bard of Avon… he’s my dude. Unfortunately, he is far too often misunderstood by scholars and laymen alike. Allow me to translate(ish).
"Madness in great ones must not unwatch'd go." ~Hamlet
Prophecy: Beware of the Führer!

“Lord, what fools these mortals be!” ~A Midsummer Night’s Dream
People are blithering idiots.

"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy." ~Hamlet
Horatio has a pea sized brain with no imagination.

"Is this a dagger which I see before me..." ~ Macbeth
Macbeth needs glasses **or** LSD and royalty do not mix. It’s one of the two.

“The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.” ~Henry the Sixth
To Do
#1 – Attorney annihilation.
#2 – Whatever the hell we want.

“A thousand times good night!” ~Romeo and Juliet
Romeo, dude, you’re cute and everything but I’m tired. Let me go to bed already.

"When you do dance, I wish you
A wave o' th' sea, that you might ever do
Nothing but that." ~The Winter’s Tale
Keep dancing or you will curse this land with a tidal wave. (I can take the romance out of anything if given the opportunity.)

“To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;” ~Macbeth
Keep waiting. Tomorrow never comes.

“What the dickens…?” ~The Merry Wives of Windsor
What the devil? (No, really. It’s like us saying, “What the hell?” This phrase has absolutely nothing to do with Charles Dickens. See? I’m not all snark.)

“Swift as a shadow, short as any dream,
Brief as the lightning in the collied night,” ~A Midsummer Night’s Dream

Love doesn’t last. It burns bright for an instant and then it is gone.

“Her infinite variety…” ~Antony and Cleopatra
Cleopatra had Dissociative Identity Disorder.

"Nothing can come of nothing: speak again." ~King Lear
Flattery will get you everything.

And now, I must leave you. I fear there is much to be done before The Ghost of Sonnets Past interrupts my sleep for some sound chastising this eve.

Rosencrantz: What are you playing at?
Guildenstern: Words. Words. They're all we have to go on.
~Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead, Film (1990)

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