Quelling Inquietude

Creation of Adam by Michelangelo, Sistine Chapel, Vatican City


"O sleep, O gentle sleep, Nature's soft nurse, how have I frightened thee, that thou no more will weigh my eyelids down, and steep my senses in forgetfulness?" ~William Shakespeare, Henry IV


December 19 – Healing
What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011? (Author:
Leoni Allan) [The #reverb10 project.]


For years… and I do mean y-e-a-r-s (plural, many, a lot, for-fucking-ever)… I have suffered learned to live with insomnia as a part of who I am. There seemed to be no answer. I adapted. And, for years… you would have been amazed at how productive and normal I seemed in the midst of such madness. A lot of people claim to have general insomnia issues or complain about lack of sleep. I don’t believe most of them. I have encountered so few who actually suffered as I did… literally being awake for days, often weeks, at a stretch. The following was written three years ago in regard to my insomnia:


Inquietude
Grasping darkness fails the weary mind
tangled amongst fleeting glimpses of a
present, past and unknown future existence.
Fragmented shadows darken a conscience
in tormented agony of ruptured memories:
pathways not followed, lovers abandoned,
shattered window panes of opportunity,
insufferable longing, unchecked wrath,
and unappeasable sacrifices of vibrant life.
Ghosts of reminiscence, all glaringly reflected
in the labyrinthine cobweb of emotions that
barricade the necessitous slumber of my soul.

©2007 BT


In 2010 this affliction reached new heights of horror. I wouldn’t have thought it possible, but it happened. And then… Doctor Sexy took me off any and all medications. All. Yep, that included my bipolar meds. Risky move, to be sure, but we had to start over. Completely. It worked.

Me and Sleep… we’re having a love affair together of which novels could be written.
Sleep is so sexy.
Me sleeping is sexy. [I have convinced myself that this is so and there’s not a soul here to refute my claim.]

Healing need for 2011?

Spiritual.

Me and God… we have issues.
Okay fine! I have issues.
Sleep isn’t one of them.

The irony of me posting this at 2:40am is not lost on me.
I’m going to bed now.
To sleep... sexily.


9 comments:

  1. Great post, it did make me smile, I like the slant you've taken :-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I really love this one..
    Specially your words about sleep..
    So sexy.. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sleep and I never saw eye-to-eye until about 10 yrs ago. Now I barely remember what it was even like to suffer from insomnia. But I remember the unadulterated joy when I discovered 8hrs of sleep was possible. I remember waking up giddy for weeks on end. Giddy.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wonderful! And your poem is very beautiful, however difficult the subject matter.

    Enjoy that sexy slumbering!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I have a good friend who has real, insanity-inducing insomnia so I know something of the horror you describe. To sleep is to heal - you (and Shakespeare) are right on. The fat tabby snoring beside me on the sofa concurs! I am so glad you are sleeping again. And this was a beautiful post...

    ReplyDelete
  6. Well said Beth. I have sleep problems but they pale in comparison.

    ReplyDelete
  7. @innerbeam ~ Thank you!

    @sacred journeys ~ Words are sexy. Sleep is sexy.

    @Brad ~ Truth: "Giddy" is one of my favorite words. Yes, sleep is euphoric. I was counting the nights... one... a week... a month. Sigh.

    @Bob ~ Thank you. It's one of my favorites.

    @Rebecca ~ May your friend find the relief of sleep. Beautiful? Thanks!

    @Jason ~ Any sleep problem is a bad sleep problem. My you too find relief.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Love it! Sleep is sexy. You have to be a grown up to get it. I only suffer from sporadic insomnia, but dealing with sleep deprivation as you have--well, you should get a medal. But now you have something better--sleep.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Me and "God" have issues too. I'm not sure if I'll get past them, but I am trying. Searching. Longing. Thank you for your honest post. I've suffered many a sleepless night, but nothing like that. You deserve your sleep. :)

    ReplyDelete

"Stranger, if you passing meet me and desire to speak to me, why should you not speak to me? And why should I not speak to you?" ~Walt Whitman

LinkWithin

Blog Widget by LinkWithin