Reverberations

Photo © Yasmine


This December I will be participating in Reverb 10 as a means of reflecting on 2010 and preparing for 2011. Of course, this also means a daily post. Gah! A pledge I have made and so it will be.


December 1, 2010: One Word
Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you? (Author: @
gwenbell)


RELIEF

The past decade has been particularly trying for me. The lows and the even lowers have dominated; however, when I look back on 2010, I sigh with relief. Though it has not been without its trials, this year has been good to me. My friends and family have been more than good to me. My God has been good to me. And, yes, even a stranger or two has sent some good things in my general direction.

I don’t often ask for help. As a single mom who is lucky to have the ends meet during any given month, I should. From my parents… sure, but only if I have no other options. From other people… never. Ever. It’s a matter of pride and one of my shortcomings. This year I have learned that, at times, everyone needs help. I’m still not good at asking for it but, throughout these months, various individuals have crossed my path that have come to me and offered assistance… often without knowing that what they offered was something I desperately needed. Coincidence? Not likely. And, in yet another miracle, I have learned to accept help when it is given without feeling my pride has been bruised or guilty or as though I am seen throughout the world as a charity case. I have learned to be truly gracious. With help comes relief. With a change of attitude and genuine gratitude comes Relief with a capital “R”.

In 2010 I was relieved to…

…receive a new-to-me vehicle large enough to fit me and both boys. The prior ride had no backseat and serious engine problems. This one has given us back our freedom.

…begin healing a strained life-long friendship.

…start sleeping again after a three year war with chronic insomnia. *High Five* to Mr. Doctor Man.

…obtain full physical custody of my boys so they no longer have the stress of bouncing back and forth between homes every other week. Granted, we are all still adjusting and I’m super tired and über-broke but it is so awesome.

…accept a gift of living and dining room furniture. All basically new, it had been sitting in a storage unit for a year when the owner decided that I needed it more than she. This one still has me speechless.

…regain a smidgen of faith in both my God and humanity.

…have my boss acknowledge that the work I do is done well. With that and the number of tasks I have inherited (the “other duties as assigned” portion of my job description is wildly out of control); she believes I deserve a raise. I work for the state so I can’t get one right now but being acknowledged for my efforts by her (and some others) was much needed at the time.

…find out I’m not borderline diabetic, my thyroid is fine and my hearts seems a-okay. Not bad for a chunky girl.

...more than one or even two or three unexpected gifts of generosity that seemed small to the giver but were life-changing for me.

And… more. So. Much. More.

So, what word, a year from now, do I hope will sum up 2011 quite nicely?

HEALTHY

I want to look back on 2011 and know that I did everything in my power to improve my health. I don’t want to just lose weight. I want to be well on my way to being fit again. By December 1, 2011 I should be able to walk up a flight of stairs without getting winded, reap the benefits of increased energy, habitually make wise food choices and not dread a daily workout. I know. I’ve talked about doing this before. But, I’ve had enough of wishy-washy promises to myself. I am going to do this and I’m going to succeed. It is time.

“Success is more dangerous than failure, the ripples break over a wider coastline.” ~Graham Greene

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