Grabowo Wielkie

The Scream by Edvard Munch

Do you see what happens when I come out to play? I get tagged. The lovely and vibrant Andrea is bringing back a quote meme. Of course, with the “q” word involved… how could I not join in?

Utilizing the
random option on the much-utilized-in-my-world The Quotations Page find five quotes (from this page only) that you think reflect who you are or what you believe. Repost and tag five friends. Tagging is, as always, optional. I’m not a tagger… which just made me chuckle. If you know my last name then you will understand. Maybe.

“Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

God bless Emerson.

“I have long since come to believe that people never mean half of what they say, and that it is best to disregard their talk and judge only their actions.” ~Dorothy Day

More than words, people. More. Than. Words. (The song is stuck in your brainPod now, isn’t it? HA! I win.)

“A painting in a museum hears more ridiculous opinions than anything else in the world.” ~Edmond de Goncourt

Probably true. Think about what Mona Lisa has to endure every day. “But, it’s so small.” “Why is she looking at me like that?” “Who painted this?” People are stupid. I work in hospitality and I hear more than my share of ridiculous opinions each and every day. This qualifies me to say, “People are stupid.”

“Food is the most primitive form of comfort.” ~Sheila Graham

Indeed… and I am fat. Comforted? Not so much. Primitive? No comments from the peanut gallery, please.

“Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop.” ~Ovid

“Yaaaawn,” sayeth the insomniac.

While reviewing the random quotes offered to me today, I remembered another meme that utilized the same page in a much different… far more artistic way. So, lucky you, I’m giving you that one as well. This one is more fun and I get to be creative.

I’m forming a band. Random? Yes. Considering I am accomplished at no instrument and no one wants to hear me sing. Through the random power of the internet I will find my band name, album title and photo for the album cover. Combine for general awesomeness using photoshop or some such software. There is only one rule: No refreshing the links. Work with what you are given.

Let’s make my band. You play along too…

1. <--- The first article title is the name of your band.

2. <--- The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album. (See? This is still the same page I used for the quotes above. Cool.)

3. <--- The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover. Like I said, combine your photo with the band name and title and post it for the world to see. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you GRABOWO WIELKIE!!

Word of the Year: 2010

I’ve mentioned it before, but I am the master of botched good intentions. If I decide to be motivated, I will rebel against my own good sense and rot in unmotivated misery. It’s a mystery, but true. More shocking is that I am aware of this side of my personality. I may, to some extent, have become afraid of success.

I didn’t used to be this way. At one time I appeared to be the girl who “had it all together.” Now, fully immersed into the reality of adulthood, I know that there isn’t a person in the human race that really does have it all together. There is room for improvement in each and everyone. Think you’re perfect? You are not. Neither, my friends, am I. While I cannot pinpoint when my attitude about succeeding at anything turned highly pessimistic, I do know that chronic unmotivation (Read: Extreme laziness. I make up words. Sue me.) is virally contagious. This does narrow down the window substantially. You spend twelve years with a person who has no motivation and infection is practically guaranteed.

Several years ago I scrapped the notion of New Year’s Resolutions forever. I wasn’t fond of the practice to being with, but I never, ever fulfilled them and I was absolutely exhausted by the guilt and overwhelming sense of failure that accompanies a resolution renewed year after year after year with no hope of future success. So, I turned the concept into a
sarcastic joke. Of course I did. How else would I deal with it?

This year, however, there is something changing in me. It has been for a while. A spark. I’ve been building up to life change bit by bit with a little success here or a glimmer of hope there. Then January 1, 2010 arrived. A new year. Not only a new year… a new decade. Could I take my wee, tiny building blocks of potential change and turn them into a steady foundation? Did I dare resume the resolution making process? Could I possibly make promises to myself that would not end up being broken a thousand times over? No. I would not. Resolutions are heavy. Promises carry far too much weight. But, I thought, I could pick one word. Just one. Yes, I could do that.

This is why the Word of the Year concept holds so much appeal.

I would have to pick a word and it would have to be the right word. Of course, choosing that word would give it weight. Inevitably, expectations would be attached… by me… by others. Yes, that word could become heavy; though not unmanageable. Think chunky jewelry heavy as opposed to Atlas holding up the heavens heavy. Still, I began to make a short list: Motivated. Achiever. Fireball. Success. Obvious theme, but all these words (except perhaps “fireball”) seemed generic. None of them felt right. None of them were me. They may represent the me I want to be want to recognize again when I look in the mirror, but not me as I am now. I have changed too much. I need a transition word, a stepping stone, to bridge the gap between me now and the me I will be again.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

It is January 21, 2010 and I finally have a word. I could have rushed the process and picked something on a whim but I believe that would have led to more disappointment. Behold! My word for 2010:


I know. It is an odd choice. Disregard the name. Disregard the many variations of a noun.

buck [buhk]
1 : to throw (as a rider) by bucking
2 : oppose, resist
3 : to charge into (as a headwind)
4 : to strive for advancement sometimes without regard to ethical behavior

There are many more definitions, of course, but these are most relevant. “Let me ‘splain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up.” ~Princess Bride (1987)

1 : to throw
Habits need to be bucked off and I cannot let them back on. The first rider: Blatant disregard for my own motivation.

2 : oppose, resist
I must fight against allowing fear and small failures to hinder my progress. In the past I have allowed them to win. No more.

3: to charge into
My life. There can be no contentment in merely existing.

4: to strive for advancement sometimes without regard to ethical behavior (I can't wrap my brain around that part.)
I must keep climbing this ladder. Not the corporate one. This is personal, not business. That will come later.

Yes, this is my word. It feels right. It is right. I had assumed my word would be more eloquent… sound more intelligent… have more syllables. Surprise.

I’m not looking for a quick fix. For once. I’ve told myself before that change takes time, but I always hoped for the miracle that never came. I am grounded now. This will be a process. 2011 will bring another word… more building blocks. This I can do.

“You can create your life exactly as you want it.” ~Christine Kane

Find your word. A guide to discovery can be found

Opening the Pod Bay Doors

It’s no secret that I have a love affair with science fiction. The writers and directors of sci-fi strive for it to be a wholly immersive experience and I, on behalf of the readers/viewers, fully appreciate the effort these artists make in order to whisk us away to someplace new. I have learned a few things too. Someday technology will get the upper hand and we’ll all be screwed (2001: A Space Odyssey, Terminator, Battlestar Galactica, The Matrix, etc.). “Resistance is futile.” “The truth is out there.” “Never give up. Never surrender.” Dinosaurs can be cloned. What? You don’t believe me? “I find your lack of faith disturbing.” Sawyer is my constant.

Science Fiction opens the pod bay doors of imagination. It gives us a peek of what could be or hope that the impossible is, in fact, possible.

If I had a time machine…
I would take a jolly jaunt back to 1992 and pay myself a visit. My life was pretty darn idyllic until I took over making major decisions. “Oy!” I’d say to me, “You’re bipolar. I know you don’t know what the hell that means, but get yourself some meds before you do anything. Nothing. Trust me, don’t do anything without them!” Brutal honesty always has worked best.

If I could Jedi mind trick anyone…
I have wished for years now that I had the ability to use mind tricks on my children. We humans have a form of Jedi mind trick. It’s called reverse psychology but it only works for a couple of years… depending on the smarts of the child(ren) and, well, mine are smarter than me. How awesome would it be to avoid the toddler checkout lane temper tantrum? “This is not the candy you are looking for!” More relevant for me today would be, “You want to do your homework. Move along.”

If Scotty could beam me anywhere…
I would gladly let him dismantle my molecules (or whatever) and reassemble me on the other side of the globe. In Kenya. Did you really expect a different answer?

If I met an alien face to face…
I would hope it was any alien except E.T. because I would know what to do with the rest of them. I think. Some are worth having a chat or building a friendship. Vulcans come to mind. Others need to have their bug butts annihilated. Starship Troopers, anyone? But E.T.? He’s an ugly little scary bastard. Do you know what happened 14 years after E.T. left? Independence Day. Coincidence? I think not.

If I were an alien…
Despite my general aversion to the color blue, I want to be a member of the Na’vi and live on
Pandora. To be completely in tune with one’s planet would be most excellent.

If I could hitchhike through the galaxy…
Serenity would be the vessel I would most like to inhabit on my journey. Oh yeah. She’s an awesome ship and she has the hottest of hot space cowboy captains. There you have it.

If I were to consume/inhale/inject a sci-fi drug…
How do you feel about intense blue eyes? Despite that I have never experimented with drugs (It’s true.), I might consider giving
the spice a try. I could do with have my mind expanded and my senses made keener. Seeing as I will probably never be bitten by a radioactive spider, this seems like a good alternative. Then again, one side effect is supposed to be weight gain and, well, my crazy pills already have that covered.

If I could take a Stargate to any planet…
I like to be warm. In truth, I prefer to be very warm. Hot even. Is it bizarre that I have always held a fascination for the desert planet
Tatooine? The sunsets alone seem worth it. I used to want to live there but then I realized, at some point, I really would miss trees. This is not a new revelation. I have mentioned it before.

If I could dive the depths of the oceans…
Put me on
seaQuest and leave me there.

If I could have a weapon of the future…
I need a blaster (or a phaser). As beautiful and awesome as lightsabers are… they require more up close and personal hand to hand combat. Nope. Not for me. Just give me something I can shoot and “may the force be with you.”

What can sci-fi do for you? Me? “I aim to misbehave.”

“If it is my delusion, who the hell invited you?” ~Total Recall (1990)

Iconic Image

My mother was 15 when Elvis mania happened. She claims she was never a fan. I think she lies… a little. Was she not a fan of the music? Possibly. Probably. Rock-n-roll has never been her particular cup of tea, so I understand her general lack of fandom for most songs in the Elvis discography. She has owned his gospel album though. I know. I’ve seen it. Understandable, really, once you’ve heard the Elvis version of Amazing Grace. Still, as a heterosexual teenage girl in the back half of the 1950s, is it really possible that she did not admire the scenery?

See? She lies.

“The image is one thing and the human being is's very hard to live up to an image.” ~Elvis Presley, Press Conference (June 1972)

Frostbitten Golf Clap

My kids desperately wanted a snow day today. Too bad. With Old Man Winter in my crosshairs, I forbade him to drop any of the white stuff on our area. It worked. For now.

It’s no secret how much I abhor winter and the cold that comes with it. If I wanted to live on Hoth then I would move to Antarctica… or, you know, Canada. As it stands, I do reside, grudgingly, in the northern hemisphere although I do live in the southern half of the United States and I am quite content with the general lack of winter weather that blows into this area.

But, I’ve spent a lot of time bitchin’ complaining lately (about pretty much everything) and it is time for me to give it a rest. Winter does have some positive moments. Know that admitting such a thing brings the bile rising into the back of my throat, but it’s true. So, I shall stand and give an understated and wholly polite golf clap in praise of winter… though my fingers will likely suffer frostbite and rot off my body because of the effort.

Winter is mildly tolerable because…

During winter all the other Caucasians are just as vampire white as I am. Well, George Hamilton isn’t, but I don’t think he’s Caucasian. He’s just a really tall, well dressed Oompa Loompa.

The mosquitoes are gone. Bravo, winter. My body is like a smörgåsbord for the blood-sucking devil insects and my body’s fluid of life must be the finest of fine blood wines. Put me in a room with fifty people, release a thousand mosquitoes and I will leave that room with 1000 mosquito bites.

All the little teenage floozies have clothes on… real clothes that cover their bodies. Imagine that! This does not, however, stop me from attempting to convince my teenage son that they are all still just floozies in disguise. Mothers of the world: Be a parent and put some clothes on your daughters.

Soup. I can make soup, order soup, buy soup & eat soup every single day without having my sanity (or obvious obsession love of soup) questioned.

I like boots. Correction: I like the way my legs look in boots. I try to transition straight from flip-flops to boots and, while I may end up with some nippy toes from time to time, this plan usually works well for me. I never do put the flip-flops away though… in case there is a warmer day. I’d rather be barefoot most of the time but that is generally frowned upon. Stupid societal expectations.

People fall on ice. It is amusing. I know. I know. Sometimes they fall and break things… on their bodies… but I still laugh at people who fall on ice. Yes, I am a horrible person. Thanks for noticing.

Speaking of me being a horrible person…
Humans tend to be a little cranky and slightly depressed during the dark, cold months of winter. It’s natural. This affords me the opportunity to be a little cranky and slightly depressed without the world wondering if I’ve taken my crazy pills.

Look at that! My fingers are still there.

Winter is nature's way of saying, "Up yours." ~Robert Byrne


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