Centric


December 31 – Core Story
What central story is at the core of you, and how do you share it with the world? (Bonus: Consider your reflections from this month. Look through them to discover a thread you may not have noticed until today.) (Author:
Molly O’Neill) [The #reverb10 project.]

Since 1994 I have allowed Life to dictate how I Live.
“One of these days… ” <------ Core.


No more.
What is Life without Living?


Empty.
Consequence and Circumstance will no longer hold me hostage.


“One of these days I’m gonna jump off that shelf
Hit that ground runnin’
At least that’s what I keep tellin’ myself
I’ve been sitting on the fence for way too long
Warmin’ that bench as chance moves on
And believe me that ain’t the way to live
And this barely getting by is really getting old
And it’s hard to turn the wrench on a rusty bolt
But someday, somethin’s gotta give…”
~Christian Kane, Something’s Gotta Give


Things don’t just “give”.

Waking up every day and going to bed every night is not Living.

Those are just the bookends.
It’s what’s in the middle that counts. <----- Core.

It’s time to Write those empty pages.

Watch out!
I’m about to go Nuclear.

Chaotic

Photo © Kevin Dooley

“I have great belief in the fact that whenever there is chaos,
it creates wonderful thinking. I consider chaos a gift.” ~Septima Clark


December 30 – Gift
This month, gifts and gift-giving can seem inescapable. What’s the most memorable gift, tangible or emotional, you received this year? (Author: Holly Root) [The #reverb10 project.]

2010 was full of unbelievable blessings.
I was given the gift of sleep.
I was given the gift of awakening.
I was given the gift of mobility.
I was given the gift of history.
I was given the gift of pride in my home.

2010 was also beyond chaotic.
I tend to thrive in chaos.
It makes me stronger.
It’s a gift.

Yep, that pretty much sums it up.



Cue That Song From Rent, But Not Really


“When a defining moment comes along, either you define the moment or the moment defines you.” ~Tin Cup, Film (1996)

December 29 – Defining Moment
Describe a defining moment or series of events that has affected your life this year. (Author:
Kathryn Fitzmaurice) [The #reverb10 project.]


In 2010 I allowed far too many moments… circumstances… random happenstances… to define me and not the me I want to be. And so, for me, the “define your great moment” of the year subject has become far too tedious.

A year.
Twelve months.
Three hundred sixty five days.
8,765.81277 hours.
525,948.766 minutes. (See? There it is.
The song. Sort of. They cheated.)
One standard year.

How many “defining moment” opportunities is that? Countless. Yet, I have less than I can count on one hand and those have been regurgitated here in full… somewhere… in some month… sometimes twice. I have milked them dry. Clinging. I’m finished.

I shall now make every effort to remember the mundane. To bask in the moments I have forgotten. To focus on every moment for every moment is defining.

Remove any one second or minute or hour or day from 2010 and I would not be the woman I am now. The woman who is stepping into 2011. Despite everything, even the “terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days”, I find that unacceptable.

Listen to Mr. Dickens for he “speaks” with timeless wisdom:
“That was a memorable day to me, for it made great changes in me. But, it is the same with any life. Imagine one selected day struck out of it, and think how different its course would have been. Pause you who read this, and think for a moment of the long chain of iron or gold, of thorns or flowers, that would never have bound you, but for the formation of the first link on one memorable day.” ~Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

Igniting Time Present


“Time is the fire in which we burn.” ~Star Trek: Generations, Film (1994)

December 28 – Achieve
What’s the thing you most want to achieve next year? How do you imagine you’ll feel when you get it? Free? Happy? Complete? Blissful? Write that feeling down. Then, brainstorm 10 things you can do, or 10 new thoughts you can think, in order to experience that feeling today. (Author:
Tara Sophia Mohr) [The #reverb10 project.]


I want to achieve contentment in the now… to recognize that there is a time for everything and the time for some of the wants I have for my life may have not yet come. I want to be set aflame by the notion that this is my life and I want to have a burning passion to devour every single moment I am given.

I cannot alter the ashes of Time passed.
I can only prepare a spark for Time future.
But, I can choose to ignite Time present.

I want true contentment with what I have and where I am. I do not want to confuse contentment with resignation or apathy. I want to continue to burn for more.

How will I feel should I achieve such contentment? Sizzling! On fire for the here and now.

I have experienced moments of pure contentedness but they are rare. Elusive. Keeping that fire continuously burning is a constant struggle. There are sparks I can light… today… tomorrow… daily. Lack of diligence is my perpetual downfall.

Behests ‘o Beth
Meditate thy mind.
Own thy attitude.
Move thy body.
Do thy deeds.
Journal thy feelings.
Show thy smile.
Mind thy money.
Respect thyself.
Ignore thy excuses.
Love thy world… and all in it.

Every fire must be stoked.


Kissing Joy As It Flies

Prompt: Ordinary Joy
Our most profound joy is often experienced during ordinary moments. What was one of your most joyful ordinary moments this year? (Author:
Brené Brown) [The #reverb10 project.]

I have a problem with the word “ordinary”. It’s a dirty word like… “average” or “normal”. And, with no offense meant to the author of this prompt, I particularly have a problem with the word “ordinary” preceding the word “joy”. I find any moment of pure joy, large or small, to be far from ordinary. That being said…

MOMENT OF JOY


I posted this picture already this year but looking at it still gives me the same joyous feeling which, if you know me at all, is rather miraculous. See, I took it on the way to work. That’s the sunrise… as in morning… and I am NOT a morning person. I usually drive to work on auto-pilot. That morning I had to stop in the middle of the road (not a major highway) just to get the picture. Apparently I needed a few reminders that day of ordinary, in-the-present-moment things for which I should be joyful.

I needed to be reminded that I was blessed with yet another day of life. Joy.
I needed to be reminded that where I work is beautiful. Joy.
I needed to be reminded that I have gainful employment outside the confines of a corporate box and can, though things are more than a little tight, provide for my boys. Joy.

“He who binds to himself a joy
Does the wingèd life destroy;
But he who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in eternity's sunrise.”
~William Blake



Sous Chef(s)

Photo © smitten kitchen

“He who controls the Spice controls the universe.” ~Dune, Film (1984)
This is how you geek up a food post.


December 26 – Soul Food
What did you eat this year that you will never forget? What went into your mouth & touched your soul? (Author:
Elise Marie Collins) [The #reverb10 project.]


Three years ago I wrote a post about “catching” my two boys watching Food Network instead of their usual Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network fare. [Sidebar: I sent that post to Alton Brown’s production company. They responded by sending a signed, personalized copy of one of his cookbooks to my boys. I hid it until Christmas that year. They still talk about that Christmas present and show it to people regularly.]

Fast forward to the present and 2010 was the year they both began seriously helping in the kitchen. It is the 10-year old, however, who exhibits passion. He has, quite literally, smelled and tasted every spice in the cabinet. Just last week he was helping my cousin bake a batch of Butterscotch Thins (cookies) and I overheard this:

“Can I try a butterscotch chip? I’ve never had one before because I don’t think I like butterscotch but I can’t possibly cook with them if I don’t know what they taste like.

Word.

There is much debate between the boys as to who makes the best spaghetti… me or their father. Trust me, my ex can cook. I love that the boys try to compare the two when his is far more American traditional and I’ve taken a more healthy and organic turn with mine.

My best dish this year? Spaghetti… prepared by my boys under my tutelage.

There is something parentally satisfying about watching a 15-year old boy and a 10-year old boy stand over a pot of sauce with tasting spoons having a lively discussion about what’s missing… how it needs a little bit of this or a little bit of that.

Have they mastered spaghetti? No.
Was that batch perfect? Absolutely.



Truth


“All photos are accurate. None of them is the truth.” ~Richard Avedon

December 25 – Photo (a present to yourself)
Sift through all the photos of you from the past year. Choose one that best captures you; either who you are, or who you strive to be. Find the shot of you that is worth a thousand words. Share the image, who shot it, where, and what it best reveals about you. (Author:
Tracey Clark) [The #reverb10 project.]


“All photos are accurate.” Is this me? Yes, it is.

“None of them is the truth.” Is this the real me? No, it is not.

The truth is I don’t let people take photographs of me. Not anymore.

I have control issues.

There was a time when you couldn’t separate me from a camera… being behind it, that is. I was pretty good too. In high school and college I spent hours in the dark room. Creating. I still have my old Minolta® complete with bells and whistles… lenses, filters, etc. It needs a good cleaning and the flash needs repair but I’ll never give it up. It hasn’t taken a photograph in at least ten years. I can’t afford film. I have a couple digital point and shoots (a gift) which do for day-to-day shots of the kids and stuff. Oh, to have some rockin’ digital equipment…

I digress.

The picture?
Photographer: Me
Equipment: Webcam
Location: Living Room

Yes, I digitally tweaked the color a bit.

I look hopeful. Peaceful. Pretty. The disembodied head angle hides my fat. My hair doesn’t look blonde. I am blonde. My eyes look fantastic. I like my eyes. I could be praying… with eyes lifted… and I don’t do enough of that anymore.

Perhaps

Photo © Pearled


“The future is called ‘perhaps,’ which is the only possible thing to call the future. And the only important thing is not to allow that to scare you.” ~Tennessee Williams, Orpheus Descending


December 24 – Everything’s OK
What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead? (Author:
Kate Inglis) [The #reverb10 project.]


Alrighty then…

I don’t have a damn clue.

There are things that happen in this world that are, simply put, not OK. Things are not always alright nor can we know that all will be alright.

That’s all I’m going to say on the subject in order to avoid getting The Collective’s knickers in a twist. Know that I am not an eternal pessimist. I don’t live my life on pins and needles waiting for the next bomb to drop but neither do I assume that everything in my future will be okay.

Perhaps it will be. Perhaps it won’t. And… that’s alright.

If You're Lucky I'll Knight You

Photo © Pink Sherbet Photography


What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet.
~William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet


December 23 – New Name
Let’s meet again, for the first time. If you could introduce yourself to strangers by another name for just one day, what would it be and why? (Author:
Becca Wilcott) [The #reverb10 project.]


After much internal deliberation, I’ve come to an important conclusion:

There is a reason we do not name ourselves.
We are not to be trusted with such… power.


I didn’t do the prompt. Bite me.

I quite like my name. I haven’t always felt as such… at least, not about the long version: “Elizabeth”. I am told my mother wanted a “Beth” but my father wanted a Biblical name. They compromised. Of course, I felt the need, somewhere in my know-it-all high school years, to point out to my father that “
Beth” is the second letter of the Hebrew alphabet and, therefore, clearly Biblical… so, “E”, “L”, “I”, “Z” and “A” were just extraneous and unnecessary. I got “the look” for that little announcement.

I have been known as “Beth” all my life with a few notable exceptions that I don’t intend to share here. But, now, “Elizabeth” isn’t as distasteful as it used to be. I wouldn’t mind sticking “Queen” in front of it because I think Queen Elizabeth I was one shrewd chick; however, that would come with all of the…. Oh hell, I’ll just say it… shit that is part and parcel of the whole royal gig. I can’t imagine that living the good life could possibly make up for the pomp, circumstance and total lack of privacy that is attached to a monarchical title.

But, if you would like to refer to me as “Queen Elizabeth” or “My Lady” then so be it. I won’t stop you. I’ll still be me. You know… a rose is a rose is a rose.

The Bars Aren't Even Gilded

Photo © Razorclock

“What do you fear, lady?” he asked.
“A cage,” she said. “To stay behind bars, until use and old age accept them, and all chance of doing great deeds is gone beyond recall or desire.”
~J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King


December 22 – Travel
How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year? (Author:
Tara Hunt) [The #reverb10 project.]


I have major wanderlust. Let me elaborate: I have major unrequited-for-most-of-my-adult-life wanderlust. It is what it is.

Where did I travel in 2010?
I didn’t.

Where will I travel in 2011?
I won’t.

There was supposed to be
this little trip but it isn’t happening. The circumstances surrounding why it’s a “no go” are good for the friend who initially invited me to tag along so, while I’m agonizingly disappointed, I can’t summon up an ounce of bitterness.

I have a plan to try and take my boys to Florida this summer, but unless someone finds a way to squeeze more blood out of a turnip…

I miss new cultures. I miss museums.
I miss airports. I miss discovery.
Most of all…

I miss Africa.

Hell, I can’t even watch The Discovery Channel or The Travel Channel without crying anymore. Why? Because, as I stare at the world through the bars of this cage of consequences, I know exactly what I am missing, that’s why.

The caged lioness… she is not as indifferent as she seems.

The Present Moment

Photo © Kayla Lahti

“And you cannot move at all in Time, you cannot get away from the present moment.” ~H.G. Wells, The Time Machine


December 21 – Future Self
Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Bonus: Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?) (Author:
Jenny Blake) [The #reverb10 project.]


I’m not good with the future. If I had a DeLorean and a flux capacitor I would definitely go back to it in order to figure out what’s going to happen because, let’s be honest here, I’m not good with surprises either. You know those kids who unwrap and then rewrap their Christmas presents? Guilty. I was damn masterful and stealthy about it too.

All I know is this…
I’m so tense and stressed out right now that were I to swallow a piece of a coal… I would probably poop out a diamond.

I can only hope that in five years a lot of the contributing factors to that tension will be non-issues but I’ll probably still need the same reminder: RELAX! Frankie has commanded it.

[Lordie… My pop culture references are an age giveaway. Totally!]

Speaking of age…
I did write a letter to my past self this year.
"Dear Beth" was addressed to my sixteen-year-old self so, ahem, yeah, that was twenty years ago.

Writing a letter to me at age 26… ten years ago… would be far simpler. I see no purpose in elaborately detailed exposition therefore my letter would be trimmed down to a note:

“You are much altered. Get out NOW before you completely lose your soul.”


If I was writing me then I would know what I meant and I trust myself so I would listen to me.

But, seeing as I have neither H.G. Wells nor Doc Brown to assist me in transporting myself or a letter into the past, I choose to continue living out the consequences of my past decisions to the best of my ability and with as little regret possible.


Wasted in Friction

© Paramount Pictures


"I would not waste my life in friction when it could be turned into momentum." ~Frances Willard


December 20 – Beyond Avoidance
What should you have done this year but didn’t because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?) (Author:
Jake Nickell) [The #reverb10 project.]



It’s been twelve years since I sat in a university classroom.

After my sophomore year of college I took a break… got pregnant… got married… had Big K. When he was a year old I managed to return to school for two more years but not at full speed due to motherhood and my full time job. During the first month of my last full school semester (I would still have had the odd class here or there to finish.) my ex-husband and I separated for the first time. Staying was not an option. Despite how close I was to finishing… I dropped out and Big K and I moved to Virginia. Several months later reconciliation happened and the then-husband followed us to the East Coast. It was implied that finishing my education would be made a priority. We were together another nine years. He’ll tell you that I was too much of a workaholic to finish school. I’ll tell you that someone had to have a steady job in order to make ends meet. Whatever.

Ball long dead stopped.

Twelve years is a long time and the longer I am out of the school the easier it is to swallow the fact that it may never happen for me.

Tired of having all the experience and not all of the education, I decided to change that this year. I want more out of life. I want to have more to offer my boys. I applied to one of the local universities and was accepted.

Ball rolling.

Then I started to listen to various financial analysts talk about the precarious nature of the current school loan system. The economy was taking a toll. Students were graduating but there weren’t enough jobs. Loans were not being repaid. It spooked me because I was going to have to rely on loans for my tuition. I didn’t enroll.

Of course, I also became a full-time single mom at the end of August. Had I started school, this would have prompted me to drop out. Again. I welcome change but adding classes and full-time single parenting to my regular day-to-day life would have been far too overwhelming. I don’t care how strong people think I am.

Ball stopped.

Now that the boys and I have been through the home adapting that was required when a major change takes place, I’m meeting with a university professor from aforementioned scholastic institution after Christmas. I hope to be enrolled for Fall 2011… or maybe even Summer 2011 classes. Night or weekend classes, of course, because somebody in this family still has to work.

Ball rolling. Again.

What I need is that boulder from ‘Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark’ perpetually threatening to roll right over me.

Quelling Inquietude

Creation of Adam by Michelangelo, Sistine Chapel, Vatican City


"O sleep, O gentle sleep, Nature's soft nurse, how have I frightened thee, that thou no more will weigh my eyelids down, and steep my senses in forgetfulness?" ~William Shakespeare, Henry IV


December 19 – Healing
What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011? (Author:
Leoni Allan) [The #reverb10 project.]


For years… and I do mean y-e-a-r-s (plural, many, a lot, for-fucking-ever)… I have suffered learned to live with insomnia as a part of who I am. There seemed to be no answer. I adapted. And, for years… you would have been amazed at how productive and normal I seemed in the midst of such madness. A lot of people claim to have general insomnia issues or complain about lack of sleep. I don’t believe most of them. I have encountered so few who actually suffered as I did… literally being awake for days, often weeks, at a stretch. The following was written three years ago in regard to my insomnia:


Inquietude
Grasping darkness fails the weary mind
tangled amongst fleeting glimpses of a
present, past and unknown future existence.
Fragmented shadows darken a conscience
in tormented agony of ruptured memories:
pathways not followed, lovers abandoned,
shattered window panes of opportunity,
insufferable longing, unchecked wrath,
and unappeasable sacrifices of vibrant life.
Ghosts of reminiscence, all glaringly reflected
in the labyrinthine cobweb of emotions that
barricade the necessitous slumber of my soul.

©2007 BT


In 2010 this affliction reached new heights of horror. I wouldn’t have thought it possible, but it happened. And then… Doctor Sexy took me off any and all medications. All. Yep, that included my bipolar meds. Risky move, to be sure, but we had to start over. Completely. It worked.

Me and Sleep… we’re having a love affair together of which novels could be written.
Sleep is so sexy.
Me sleeping is sexy. [I have convinced myself that this is so and there’s not a soul here to refute my claim.]

Healing need for 2011?

Spiritual.

Me and God… we have issues.
Okay fine! I have issues.
Sleep isn’t one of them.

The irony of me posting this at 2:40am is not lost on me.
I’m going to bed now.
To sleep... sexily.


WWYD

T-shirt available from spreadshirt.com.
No, I don't have it. Oh LOOK! It's Christmas!
I'll take an XXL if you feel so inclined.
Known for subtlety I am not.


“Try not. Do or do not, there is no try.” ~Yoda


December 18 – Try
What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did / didn’t go for it? (Author:
Kaileen Elise) [The #reverb10 project.]


Disclaimer: You people have to remember you are dealing with someone who has a Rebel Alliance logo in the back window of her car. I am physically incapable of disregarding a blatant Star Wars reference.

At this risk of *skip* sound *skip* sound *skip* sounding like a *skip* broken rec *skip* record… I must resume Operation Skinny Bitch in 2011. Considering aforementioned conquest never really got off the ground anyway… and, yeah, I’m aware that was a year and a half ago. I’m in a better place for success now. Simply put: I love myself despite the weight.

I desperately miss being healthy & athletic, that’s all. And… there is enough of a family medical history concern to warrant getting my heart, the organ pumping in my chest, not the sappy part of my soul, back into tip-top shape. I already made this pledge on
Reverb10: Day One – Word. It will be done. I must believe or I will fail.

2010 wasn’t about trying new things for me. It was about survival and adaptation. I survived. I adapted. Curve balls thwarted. OH WAIT! I *did* try
online dating for about two seconds in 2010. Dumbest. Decision. Ever.

Going forward there are a myriad of things I want to do in my life and this year I did finally make a bucket list life list:

Life List (Part One)
Life List (Part Two)

I think that gives me plenty of other things to strive for in 2011 and beyond.

“No more training do you require. Already know you, that which you need.” ~Yoda



Lesson-ology

“Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.”
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

December 17 – Lesson Learned
What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward? (Author:
Tara Weaver) [The #reverb10 project.]


Truth ---> If I have to write about something super serious and/or deeply emotional… again… I’m going to have a brainsplosion.

You have been warned.


That is all.

Lifelong


“. . . the companions of our childhood always possess a certain power over our minds which hardly any later friend can obtain.” ~Mary Shelley, Frankenstein


December 16 – Friendship
How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst? (Author:
Martha Mihalick) [The #reverb10 project.]


(I’m going to cheat and simply talk about friendship because it is such a rarity for me. There is a bit of revelation though not necessarily pertaining to my world view. Whatever. What I'm going to say... needs to be said.)

The picture? 7th grade at Rift Valley Academy in Kijabe, Kenya. I’m the ridiculously skinny child on the right but I’m not here to talk about me. Maybe a little, but not really. I need to talk about us.

See? The three of us met for the first time circa 1982-1983. Wait, that’s not right. They met me… seeing as they were already well acquainted. I was not their favorite person at the time and, truth be told, I know why and I’m okay with that. But, we did become friends.

Fast forward a few years to the picture above. We were roommates at boarding school together in 7th grade… and only that year. Yep, we figured out we couldn’t exactly live together in peace and harmony (not to mention varying tastes in room décor). Junior high years are just wretched anyway. But, we were still friends.

Fast forward a few years more. We graduated from Rift Valley Academy together and adulthood has taken us on vastly different life paths. There has been little similarity in our lives. In that picture we seem so alike to me now… even close to the same height. Even then, though, we were so different. From left to right: The Girlie-Girl, The Academic & The Tomboy.

Different then. Different now.

I, The Tomboy, am now about 3” taller than The Girlie-Girl. The Academic? Well, she is at least 3” taller (if not more) than me. Height aside, our lives and interests and experiences have tied and untied together over the years like the most bizarre pretzel imaginable. But, we are still friends.

We live in different places with drastically different lifestyles. We get to see each other rarely. Surprisingly, it is my presence in this little town in Arkansas that has allowed us to see one another at least once, and sometimes twice, a year. Despite the opposing directions we took post-high school… we all three married men from here or near here. I’m stuck here at the moment and divorced. Marital family ties bring them back here. Ah, one more reason for me to
appreciate this place.

I realized something this year: Despite ups and downs in personal lives and our relationships with each other, I desperately love each of the girls in that picture with wild abandon (Yes, even myself.). I am awed by the women they have become and the gifts they have to give to the world. I am unable, for various reasons, to be with either of them at a moment’s notice [The Academic, for example, is giving birth to her second child TODAY… far away from where I am.] but I would, without doubt,
go to the mattresses for (Read: fight for… stand up for… be there for…) either one of them. Were I needed… truly needed by one of them… I would brave planes, trains, automobiles and further financial insecurity (Who am I kidding? I’d call my dad.) to get to her side.

I also realized something else: I know that my friendship matters to each of them but I also know that, while they enjoy our visits together, they have their own lives. They have friends who know so much more about them now, as women, than I will probably ever know. Friends they turn to daily. I’m not that person and I am okay with that. I have wished previously, because of my staggering lack of female friends, that The Girlie Girl and The Academic lived in this town or within a reasonably short driving distance and then I remember…

We couldn’t live with each other in junior high and were smart enough to not try and live with each other at any point during high school. The Girlie Girl and I tried to live together briefly one summer after our respective sophomore years at different universities. That was a big reminder to not try that again. Granted, I was a highly unstable undiagnosed bipolar at the time but still…

Perhaps it is the distance and the varying life paths we have taken that keep us close. It is the lessons and experiences we have individually that allow us to continue supporting, understanding and nurturing us as a collective. We aren’t meant to live near one another because that has the potential to ruin the whole damn thing.

In my warped mind that makes perfect sense.

Asante sana, ladies, for continuing to be there for me… through it all. Grossly inadequate word that is… “all”. I know friendship with me is far from easy.

She is a friend of mind. She gather me, man. The pieces I am, she gather them and give them back to me in all the right order. It's good, you know, when you got a woman who is a friend of your mind. ~Toni Morrison, Beloved

Distant Whistling Reminder

The Night Train © Joep R.

“A train has a poor memory; it soon puts all behind it.” ~Ray Bradbury

December 15 – 5 Minutes
Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010. (Author:
Patti Digh) [The #reverb10 project.]

Have you ever realized how massive the gap is between what you want to remember about any given period in your life and what you actually recall when a year… two… or fifty have passed? The bad. It sure does make a super strong impression. Memorable. The good, however, is often wildly euphoric and such feelings are quite transitory in nature. They come. They go. They are forgotten regardless of every effort made to retain them. Ah, humanity.

Tangent Alert!
Does anyone really need to imagine losing their memory in five minutes. All it takes is 0.032 seconds and mine is gone, babe. Gone.
End Tangent.
(Huh? Short one, that tangent. I must have forgotten what to say.)

So, what is it that I want to remember about 2010? Cue timer!

I want to remember…

… exactly how I felt the moment I realized my opinion of Big K’s singing talent had transitioned from good to gifted while sitting in the audience for ‘The Wizard of Oz’ musical at the high school. He was the Tin Man and had obviously been holding back during practice time at home.

... the year Little K started attaching himself to my hip every time I stepped foot in the kitchen. What is this spice? What does this do? What does that smell like? Can I help?

… learning how to sleep again.

… God throwing me a bone to remind me that He’s still here and I still matter.

… Muse!

… beginning to dig out of the rubble.

… adult conversations with a high school friend where petty judgment and life comparisons were finally replaced by compassion and understanding and renewed camaraderie.

… introducing The Teen to all things Joss Whedon.

… mastering Reminiscence without that damn parasite Regret coming along for the ride.

… when the new boss’s boss’s boss acknowledged my value as an employee, pulled me in on a project and then showed my work to his boss and his boss’s boss.

… the blessings.

… what it feels like to be my largest size to date because I’m going to lose the weight and this shit is never going to happen ever again.

… rediscovering the freedom of digging in the dirt.

… LOST. (Trivial but no less true.)

… that getting one’s hopes up often occurs far too soon. Humans are all fallible. If it was too good to be true… Inevitably, the let down is going to come.

… realizing that I too need hugs.

Ding! Sort of. I went over by about 30 seconds. What are you going to do? Send me to #reverb10 jail? Nooooooo. I thought I would actually get a couple more into the mix before time ran out. Good to know my super awesome ninja typing skills have performance anxiety issues.

And, so it goes… 2010 rumbling down the tracks.

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