Day Seven: PEACOCKS




“Desperation - it's the world's worst cologne.” ~Singles, Film (1992)


Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
Day Ten: One confession.

FOUR TURN OFFS

FOUR: Dishonesty
Love needs trust. Liars need not apply. Truth is golden, appreciated and deeply respected. If I ask you if my ass looks large in a particular pair of jeans and THEY DO… then tell me my ass looks damn massive in those pants. I won’t want to hear it from someone else later or witness staring smirks directed at my expansive behind. [Note: This is hypothetical, of course. Not the size of my ass, mind you, but the question. I don’t think I ever asked my ex, or anyone else, if my butt looked ridiculously large in a pair of pants. I’m just not that neurotic. Nor do I like putting people in a position where they feel compelled to lie to me.]

THREE: Blatant Ignorance
There really is no excuse.

TWO: Small-ish Stature
Okay, here’s the thing: I tried not to put a super shallow answer down but I couldn’t really help it. If you are shorter than me… it ain’t gonna work. If your hands are smaller than mine… it ain’t gonna work. If your shoulders aren’t as broad as mine… it ain’t gonna work. You get the gist. We can be friends, sure, but I won’t be attracted to you.

ONE: Narcissism
I love a confident man. I can even deal with a bit of arrogance. Narcissism, however, is just plain ugly. Hideous, even. Foul. Disgusting. Vomitous. Icky. If you haven’t figured it out yet… I don’t like it.

Trust me, there are a hella lot more than four. This is likely why I've been single for the four years since my divorce.

3 comments:

  1. These are all solid reasons...and #2 was something that made me think of my ex-wife. She was pretty tall (5' 8", IIRC) and wouldn't look twice at a man shorter than she was. So, I get it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm with you on number one, will not tolerate a liar. And big dudes everywhere are rejoicing at #2.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Common denominator in my worst relationships? They were all within an inch or two of my own height. The love of my life, yin to my yang, jelly to my peanut butter? 5'11 to my 5'4. Coincidence? I think not.

    Yeah..the honesty thing is pretty crucial. And, just so you know, I currently have Elton John and Dan Hill in my head crooning simultaneously about honestly...

    ReplyDelete

"Stranger, if you passing meet me and desire to speak to me, why should you not speak to me? And why should I not speak to you?" ~Walt Whitman

LinkWithin

Blog Widget by LinkWithin