Oh mercy, I just posted my little piggy toes on the internet.

“Come, and trip it as ye go,
On the light fantastick toe.”
~John Milton, L’Allegro

I have small feet. No, really. I have ridiculously small feet compared to my height. At 5’6” I should have a larger foot. I don’t. I wear a woman’s size 7 (American). There are times, courtesy of the foot spreading phenomenon born out of pregnancy, where I push into a size 8. It’s rare. It all depends on the shoe. Or… I wear a solid boy’s size 6... 6 ½. Boy’s flip-flops are cheaper. So are the snow boots. I know.

My mother is 5’4”. She wears the same size shoe.
My cousin is shorter than my mom. Her foot is bigger than mine.
I’m the tallest woman in my office. I have the smallest foot.
You get the idea.

I also have nubby little pinky toes.
They amuse my children greatly.

Sidebar: I have a former sister-in-law who shares the same afflictions of small feet and nubby toes. In truth, her foot size is likely a teeny tiny bit smaller than mine. It’s good to not be alone.

As the mother of boys, my foot became the first “Look! My feet are the same size as mom’s!” growth measuring device. It was the summer of 2009 when I realized that, when buying new shoes for Big K (age 14 at the time), I could try the pair on my feet and be assured that they would fit him. He’s always been a little on the smaller side than most of his classmates so it was a milestone for him. Now, almost two years later, his foot is substantially larger and he is, quite literally, centimeters from finally passing me in height. The distance can no longer be measured in inches. Trust me when I say that he slides up next to me to compare… Every. Single. Day.

Little K, however, is one of the biggest kids in his class. He and Big K are five years apart in age but it was only one year later, in the summer of 2010, that Little K’s feet equaled mine in size. Woo. There was much rejoicing… on his behalf. I rolled my eyes. I then sent a Facebook message to the aforementioned former sister-in-law to warn her. Comparisons would be made when she was next visited. Mocking was inevitable.

Little K now comes up to my chin. He will be eleven this month. Big K is preparing himself for the day when his little brother becomes his bigger little brother. It’ll happen.

Until that time comes, they continue to mock my small feet and my nubby toes. The latest game? Shoving a bare foot in my face and wiggling that pinky toe independently from the rest of the toes on that foot. They can both do it. I can’t. My nubby toe doesn’t have that freedom. It’s useless. Boo.

They laugh at it.
Feet… they are worthy of mirth.

I abhor socks.
Boots are sexy.
Slippers are evil.
I always need more flip-flops.
Shoes are worn due to societal expectation…
… and sometimes thorns.


  1. I really chuckled at this. I have been afflicted with big feet my whole life. I was wearing women's shoes when I was seven years old. If I tripped, I invariable got mocked. My skiing ability, water & snow, balance, snowshoeing talents, canoeing, etc. all seemed to be directly related to the size of my feet. I can wiggle my little toes independently, because they are so freakishly long! My cousin has Flintstone feet...they are almost square. We used to tease each other, because we are the same height, and have such different feet.

    My kids both compare their feet to mine, but they have a long way to go, before they catch up to my size 10's!

  2. Isn't there a band named after your feet? I'd rather have little feet than the bricks I have, they're weird and clunky, if you ever see a picture of them I would hide my head in shame.

    P.S.- are there little skulls on your toes or am I crazy?

  3. Actually... there are little crosses on my big toes. This time. I do have skulls though.

  4. But I love your tiny little toesies. And I love your choice of nail polish hue. And I envy your teeny feet. I really do.

  5. Haha - this made me so happy!! I can just picture the pinkie toe wiggling that KIT and KAT do...too funny! And yes, yes, we have been surpassed by them both. Before long, even the youngest of the clan will have us both beat!

  6. Brandee ~ Big K, the eldest, has hobbit feet. It's awesome.

    Stereo ~ Isn't that color awesome?! And... I envoy your living location. Sigh. :(

    Amber ~ Just wait. They'll shove those toes in your face too.

  7. I wear a size 11... enjoy your 7's.

  8. He He! My feet have shrunk a size and a half in the last few months. WTF? I am a 7 too at 5'6". When I was preggers, I didn't even fit into shoes!!!

    PS- UGG slippers are the best. And flip-flops rule!

  9. Does that make my feet uber-freakishly small? I'm at a 6.5. ANd every single one of my toenails is a different shape. Brava for posting your tootsies. There's a poem in there somewhere about stubbing nubby toes.


"Stranger, if you passing meet me and desire to speak to me, why should you not speak to me? And why should I not speak to you?" ~Walt Whitman


Blog Widget by LinkWithin