Day Eight: THE SEXY


That’s right. Today’s prompt is about what makes me look at a guy and think “Huminah-huminah-huminah!” You’ll find the more deep and meaningful attractions listed in Day Three.


Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
Day Ten: One confession.

THREE TURN ONS

THREE: Biceps
Mmmmm hmmmm. Biceps. There’s just something about a guy with really strong, beautifully defined arms. And… tattoos of the tasteful/meaningful/well-done variety well placed on those arms result in bonus points.

TWO: Eyes
Windows to the soul… blah, blah, blah… pick a cliché. Not only can I get lost in a man’s eyes, but I can also find myself in them. And him. You just have to know the right way to look into them. Master that and all will, quite literally, be revealed. Eyes that are intriguing in color/shape while simultaneously embracing life are absolutely irresistible.

ONE: Voice
I have always embraced and appreciated and found myself more than mildly intrigued by a great male voice; however, years of working in customer service, specifically answering phones for a living in various call centers or places of hospitality, has given me the gift of distinguishing the nuances of human speech. The right voice can be bloody well intoxicating. The wrong one… or the wrong words (Dudes, be well spoken.) and, well…

“When you first entered the restaurant, I thought you were handsome, and then, of course, you spoke.” ~As Good As It Gets, Film (1997)

There are other, shall we say... more personal, turn ons. That information is not for the public. No, not even you. Or you. Stop asking.

Day Seven: PEACOCKS




“Desperation - it's the world's worst cologne.” ~Singles, Film (1992)


Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
Day Ten: One confession.

FOUR TURN OFFS

FOUR: Dishonesty
Love needs trust. Liars need not apply. Truth is golden, appreciated and deeply respected. If I ask you if my ass looks large in a particular pair of jeans and THEY DO… then tell me my ass looks damn massive in those pants. I won’t want to hear it from someone else later or witness staring smirks directed at my expansive behind. [Note: This is hypothetical, of course. Not the size of my ass, mind you, but the question. I don’t think I ever asked my ex, or anyone else, if my butt looked ridiculously large in a pair of pants. I’m just not that neurotic. Nor do I like putting people in a position where they feel compelled to lie to me.]

THREE: Blatant Ignorance
There really is no excuse.

TWO: Small-ish Stature
Okay, here’s the thing: I tried not to put a super shallow answer down but I couldn’t really help it. If you are shorter than me… it ain’t gonna work. If your hands are smaller than mine… it ain’t gonna work. If your shoulders aren’t as broad as mine… it ain’t gonna work. You get the gist. We can be friends, sure, but I won’t be attracted to you.

ONE: Narcissism
I love a confident man. I can even deal with a bit of arrogance. Narcissism, however, is just plain ugly. Hideous, even. Foul. Disgusting. Vomitous. Icky. If you haven’t figured it out yet… I don’t like it.

Trust me, there are a hella lot more than four. This is likely why I've been single for the four years since my divorce.

Day Six: SURROUNDED


Surrounded by Love © Madart


"How many goodly creatures are there here!
How beauteous mankind is! O brave new world
That has such people in't!"
~William Shakespeare, The Tempest

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
Day Ten: One confession.

FIVE PEOPLE WHO MEAN A LOT

FIVE: He of the long silences and many lifetime absences. He knows who he is.

FOUR: The one and only joyful cousin I have ever been close to or truly cared about having in my life.

THREE: Parentals. No, really… they’ve been married so long they are now one unit.

TWO & ONE: Big K & Little K (Seriously, there is no way I’m putting them on separate lines. But, seeing as they are polar opposites of one another, I cannot combine them into a single unit as I did the parentals.)

Day Five: SPICE SWIPING


Regrets. Oh, damn. I know… never say “never”. I call bullshit. And, yet, despite all the crap I’ve had in my life, there is little that I can actually say “I wish I’d never done” because negatives, when multiplied, make a positive. See? I paid attention in math class. A little.

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
Day Ten: One confession.

SIX THINGS I WISH I’D NEVER DONE

SIX: There was a road trip in 1994 meant to bring answers and peace. It only further complicated, quite literally, e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g about my life.

FIVE: I moved back to Arkansas. Possibly, I made the right decision. Probably, I didn’t.

FOUR: I had an amazing collection of salt & pepper shakers in college… and a parmesan shaker… and a red pepper flake shaker. I didn’t buy them.

THREE: I became fat.

TWO: Have you seen my temper? I lost it. Over and over and over again… always at the wrong time.

ONE: I let the perfect Clark Kent type walk away without asking him out (see #3). It left me with that whole vile “not knowing” vibe. I hate that.


Day Four: RANDOM BRAINWAVES

©
Eddie Davis

Let’s keep this one to the shallow kiddie pool, shall we. If we jump into the deep end of my brainpool there is a great risk of drowning a horribly bizarro death.

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
Day Ten: One confession.

SEVEN THINGS THAT CROSS MY MIND *A LOT*

SEVEN: Space! Space! SPACE! There’s a space in the words “a lot”! Seriously, people, “A” [space] “LOT”! How fucking hard is that to remember?!

SIX: Single motherhood is not for sissies. Hell, motherhood is not for sissies.

FIVE: Lord-a-mercy, I’m tired.

FOUR: “Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim.” ~Finding Nemo, Film (2003)

THREE: I have so many more things I should be doing right now.

TWO: I hate people.

ONE: I love people.


Day Three: THE ARMOR CHINK(S)

© Hugh MacLeod,
Gaping Void

“Fortune has something of the nature of a woman. If she is too intensely wooed, she commonly goes the further away.” ~Charles V, Holy Roman Emperor

Pardon my lengthy hiatus between Day One and Day Two. I had a mini-vacation complete with Bon Jovi concert, faux safari, meanderings in the place ‘o birth and a renaissance faire. In short: I was preoccupied.

I now move on to the mushy vomit gushy heartfelt Day Three. Blurgh. It’s bad enough to reveal one chink in my armor… but giving you eight of them is crazy frightening. I also have to differentiate greatly between this day and Day Eight. Some answers could be the same. That being said… we’ll gear Day Eight toward the more attraction/sexual references as it is quite obviously meant to be as such anyway.

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
Day Ten: One confession.

EIGHT WAYS TO WIN MY HEART

EIGHT: Realize that a girl like me is impossible to find (Thank you, Secondhand Serenade, for the lyric.) and tell me as much. If you hint at it… I’ll probably miss it.

SEVEN: Be unpredictable yet stable.

SIX: Give me my space. I’m not a clingy person therefore I don’t do well with clingy people.

FIVE: Smile. Fakers need not apply. Smile with your eyes. Smile with your body. Smile with your entire soul. Let that smile radiate outward and fill the dark spaces.

FOUR: Geek speak works wonders. Hot nerds welcome. Seriously. Speechify about Wolverine’s entire back story or debate the finer points of Death Star construction and I might get a little doe-eyed. Just a little.

THREE: Be honest. All the time. Do you have it in you?

TWO: Make me laugh. HA! Do it again. Go ahead. I dare you.

ONE: Be able to hang with my boys… the polar opposites. Accept both of them and their bizarre idiosyncrasies for what they are. Prove the force is strong with you.


Day Two: OVERSHARING 101 (Finally, I know.)


"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring." ~Marilyn Monroe

What more can I possibly reveal about myself after compiling
300 RANDOM FACTOIDS about me into one massive list? Need ideas on how to overshare? Yeah… click that link. I’m tempted to steal borrow from it to complete day two of this endeavor. I won’t. But, I’m tempted.

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
Day Ten: One confession.

NINE THINGS ABOUT MYSELF

NINE: I abhor large paper clips. Seriously. I dislike them quite intensely. Someday I am going to count how many paper clips I touch/use in the course of one day at work and then you’ll understand why this seemingly inane revelation is not quite so.

EIGHT: “8” is my favorite number. True Story. It’s followed closely by “13” which was always my sports jersey number in high school.

SEVEN: I pawned my wedding rings and it had nothing to do with the need for money. Good thing, too. I didn’t exactly get much for them. They were cool, slightly Elfish in design, but not extravagant and no longer needed.

SIX: I suffer from Attention Deficit… Ooooh! Shiny! Disorder. That’s A.D.O.S.D. for you acronym whores.

FIVE: I own ♪ FIVE SILVER RINGS ♫ which I wear quite regularly… but no gold. I’m not a fan of gold although it probably suits my skin tone better. Ask me if I give a damn about gold or silver matching my skin tone.

FOUR: I don’t do cold. I hate Old Man Winter with a level of fiery passion that only a sun sign Leo can. Air conditioning is often the bane of my summertime existence… yet simultaneously my savior from humidity. Heat good. Humidity bad. When I get cold, my body begins to shut down. This includes my brain matter.

THREE: It’s a good thing we share (mostly) the same taste in music because I take over the sound system in my cousin’s car every time I get in. Truthfully, I try to take over the music in anyone’s car I ride in. Rude? Probably. This is me not caring.

TWO: I like television. A lot. I have tried to detox. I have failed.

This is the part where I tell you I have stared at that “ONE” for the last four days. Tapped, I tell you. I’m all tapped out. Sigh. The following could be determined via deductive reasoning by anyone who has even the tiniest sliver of knowledge about things that interest me.

ONE: Mythical Creatures: I am fascinated by them. Well, most of them. I don’t care much for those of the equine variety although I would choose Pegasus over Unicorn and Centaur over either of the former. No, I prefer Gryffin, Sphinx, Dragon, Manticore, Phoenix… R.O.U.S.-es. You know, the more intimidating ones.

There you have it. If you read this then you know a little more about me. If you read the previously composed 300… then you’re insane. And bored. Or both.

Day One: STFU!


“‘Then you should say what you mean,’ the March Hare went on. ‘I do,’ Alice hastily replied; ‘at least - at least I mean what I say - that's the same thing, you know.’” ~Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland


I do not know if I am truly prepared for this venture; however, I can always fall back on my natural talent for bullshit if necessary.

Sidebar: It is a talent and it does, apparently, run in the family. I attended the same Christian university where my father and brother attended. It was there that my Old Testament Studies professor asked if I was my father’s daughter. After I responded in the affirmative, he chose to tell me that I bullshitted like the rest of the family. I later… and by “later” I mean the next morning due to the eight hour time difference between Arkansas and Kenya… called my father to brag. Preacher man laughed. I then called my brother, who was in seminary at the time, and he too enjoyed a right good chuckle.


Reminder: These are the questions I’ll be answering over the next ten, fourteen… twenty days. I know. It should be one a day. I make no promises that such a thing will happen. They will, however, all get answered.

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
Day Ten: One confession.

TEN THINGS I WANT TO SAY TO TEN DIFFERENT PEOPLE RIGHT NOW

TEN: “Take a lunch break, already!!!!”
The roof is being replaced on my place of business. It’s a large roof. This has been going on for days and will continue for even more. The roofers must take breaks in shifts because the banging never ends. I would pray for rain but that would only postpone the inevitability of them reaching the spot directly over my desk. I’m going to go flirt with the project manager and see if he won’t hold off until Thursday or Friday to reach this area. I won’t be here Thursday and Friday. This plan is good. This plan is sound… a far better sound than that damn BANGING!

NINE: “How about coffee?”
See key words “project” and “manager” in number TEN above.

EIGHT: “Get. Your. Ass. In. Gear.”
Uh, yeah… I yell at myself. I answer too. I blame that on the crazy.

SEVEN: “Favoritism of students does not become you and it makes them feel like shit.”
This is the irate mother speaking.

SIX: “Change the channel.”
I love my father dearly. But, his choice of television entertainment (I use the word “entertainment” loosely.) drives me crazy. He’s getting far more conservative lately. FOX News is a staple in his home. FOX News makes me want to stab myself in the eyeball with an ice pick. Also, Mike Huckabee, decent enough guy that he is, doesn’t walk on water. Let’s leave that to Jesus. I can’t say this to him “right now” because I’m not in his home. Then again, I never will because: 1) I simply have far too much respect for him to say it aloud and 2) It isn’t my house.

FIVE: “Why are you LOL-ing?”
Let me say here that I just broke a personal rule. I vowed to never type “LOL” in my life. And… now I’ve done it. Twice. Boo. Dear friends who put this at the end of every text or email or instant message: You know who you are. Stop it. Stop it now. You didn’t laugh out loud. Odds are you didn’t even chuckle.

FOUR: “How do you still have your job when you never actually do your job?”
Let’s shoot that comment into the atmosphere and just see who it chooses to rain down upon.

THREE: “Don’t you think it’s high time you came to visit?”
Yeah. Okay. Moving on…

TWO: “My ass is twitching. You people make my ass twitch.” ~French Kiss, Film (1995)
Not you people…but there are such people. Speaking of those people…

ONE: “Shut the f*ck up!” (aka: STFU!) [I edited. Bite me.]
I hate your voice. No, really. Not just the words, though those are usually of a rather asinine nature, but your voice itself causes me physical pain. As does your grammar. Stop speaking. <-- So says the woman who breaks grammatical rules on a regular basis. I still think one should fully understand aforementioned rules before one should be allowed to break them. It takes a fair amount of style to break the rules of language on purpose… primarily for artistic value or emphasis. Breaking the rules because “this done just be how I is taught to speak” is ignorance in action for anyone who ever set foot in a classroom. Listen to the people around you. Learn. This applies quite specifically to two individuals of my acquaintance… and they aren’t my children.


I have a lot of “I love you!” and “Thank you!” comments I throw out regularly. I usually don’t have trouble doing that so I didn’t include them here. In fact, I usually have no trouble vocalizing pretty much anything I want to say. Ask my boss.

Bidding Adieu to Shared Walls


I remember the day I moved out of the house I shared with my then-husband. It’s hard to forget when you re-start at the beginning. Literally. It was January 1st.

That was four years ago.

And, so, for four years, two months and six days… I have shared walls with others. I have also dragged myself to the laundromat (most) every week. Oh, the joys of apartment living.


Sidebar: You would think, after seven years of dorm life throughout junior high, high school and college, that sharing walls wouldn’t be such a big deal for me. You would be wrong.


I’ve moved. Again.

I say “again” because my unwritten ‘divorce recovery’ plan seems to be running on a two year cycle.

January 1, 2007 – I moved out and into the first apartment I could find. It was a two bedroom. The boys don’t like sharing a room.

January 2, 2009 – I moved out of that apartment and into a three bedroom apartment within the same complex. More of a duplex, I only had to share walls on one side. No one above. No one below.

March 6, 2011 – Adieu, shared walls. Adieu.

Still renting. Progress? Perhaps, in another two years, I can buy. Sigh.

The teenager, conscious of this every-two-year trend stated, “Mom, I hope we don’t have to move again in two years. I hate moving.” I responded with, “I don’t, but you do… college boy… get out!” Yep. Mother of the year. They still love me.

So… that’s where I have been of late. It isn’t so much an excuse as it is a reason for my absence. Organizing. Packing. Purging. Moving. Unpacking. Sort of unpacking. Proud if I get to one box a day unpacking. Sick of unpacking. I ended up with a ridiculous amount of time off work courtesy of bloody stupid all day utility appointments. That’s a racket, I tell you… especially when my 8:00am-12:00pm internet hook-up appointment arrives at almost 12:30pm despite the reminder call I received at 8:15am from the company. And, don’t EVEN get me started on how I feel about Centerpoint Energy.

This particular move has been far from smooth and I couldn’t have done it without some pretty amazing coworkers/friends and an extremely understanding boss.

“If I were asked to name the chief benefit of the house, I should say: the house shelters day-dreaming, the house protects the dreamer, the house allows one to dream in peace.” ~Gaston Bachelard

UP NEXT? I’ll be doing the following meme which I obtained from
AGGASPLETCH. I’m quite positive he’s doing a far better job of answering these questions than I will… but any port in a storm, right? Or, in this case, any rain drop in a drought.

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine:Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
Day Ten: One confession.

Aren’t you just giddy with anticipation?

Don’t answer that.

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