Random Facts

I made a list of 100 personal random facts like much of the interwebs a few years ago... and then I did 200 and then 300. What? Don't judge.

1. I am an ENTP. It fits and actually explains a heck of a lot about me. I'm also a Leo. I think astrology is a load of crap but, by description, I am the quintessential Leo as well. It is spot on. Weird. Update: I've recently transitioned into the realm of the ENTJ. It happens... back and forth between the "P" and the "J". 2nd Update: I'm still a Leo too based on this stupid "new" astrology spectrum.

2. I am a veritable word nerd. Big surprise there, huh?

3. Oh! Sarcasm oozes from my every pore in my body ... much like sweat. Speaking of sweat - I do not perspire or glisten when working out. I sweat. I sweat like a man. Disgusting, I know - but there you have it.

4. Despite being the complete and utter personification of the tomboy - I had these purple Miss Piggy tennis shoes when I was a kid. They were the first shoes I had with velcro and I salvaged them, worn and tattered, out of the garbage on more then one occasion when my mother tried to dispose of them. Odd, really, since my favorite Muppet was always Animal and not Miss Piggy.

5. I have an unhealthy and incurable addiction to Applebee's classic boneless buffalo wings. Trust me; "addiction" is not too strong a word in this instance. Yum. Update: Yep, still a problem.

6. I talk way too damn much. I know this about myself and yet ...

7. Do you know how I learned how to ride a bike? My daddy took me to the top of a hill .... and let go! I learned some surprisingly effective methods of falling without killing myself before I picked up on the bike riding and I have the scars to prove it.

8. Scars. I have lots of them and I wear them with tomboy pride.

9. Seasons make me twitchy and I despise Daylight Saving Time. Why can't the entire world function like the equator? Sun up at 7am. Sun down at 7pm. How hard is that? (I know. The entire concept defies all laws of nature. I can wish, can't I?)

10. Speaking of Daylight Saving Time: I habitually correct people who put the "s" on the end of "Saving" because it isn't proper. It is *not* Daylight Savings Time. Still, regardless of how you say it the practice is stupid. In general, I have no complaints in regard to Benjamin Franklin and all his genius but this is one idea that should be revoked.

11. While I am on the subject of things people say that irritate me - I can not stand it when people say "ATM Machine" because they are really saying "Automatic Teller Machine Machine" and that is just preposterous. Just tell me you are going to the "ATM" and all will be well.

12. My boss regularly calls me a "Smart Ass" but I don't mind because, well, I am. Not to mention - she is just as much of a smart ass. This is why we understand one another. We jointly pick on and tease everyone else in the office ... mercilessly. (Random note: When she was a little girl my boss attended the first church my daddy ever pastored. I had been working here for months before we made that connection. Update: I have a new job and boss. I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm a smart ass as well.)

13. When I was married I used this pitiful little girl voice to get things out of my husband. He couldn't have liked it. It's just not possible. I have never used that voice for any other reason and I do not know why the hell I did then ... maybe I needed more then a divorce. Maybe I needed an exorcism.

14. Swahili. My skills regarding said language are absolutely pitiful. I can sort of hear it well and I can read it fairly well. When asked how to say certain things in Swahili the wiring in my brain short circuits and I end up calling my parents. What the hell happened? Did I grow up in Kenya or not? I need to order me some Rosetta Stone software and start studying. Anybody have $209 to spare?

15. If I had a super power it would be animal communication. I talk to them. They talk back. We get it each other.

16. Coffee. I love it. Love. It.

17. Bad coffee. I hate it. Hate. It.

18. Bad coffee is better than no coffee.

19. I am a total sucker for a guy who can sing really, really well. I am also completely smitten with guys who have great accents - particularly those from Great Britain (English, Scottish, Irish, Welsh). You give me a guy who can sing AND has a cute accent and I am completely lost.

20. Me? I have no accent. Well, I sound like an American but I don't sound particularly Southern or anything. I call it the non-accent. Update: Apparently a tinge of Southern Belle is beginning to creep in... so saith some East & West Coasters who have conversed with me via phone.

21. I headbang like Wayne and Garth every time 'Bohemian Rhapsody' by Queen comes on my ipod. Every. Single. Time. (Update: Spotify playlist... not ipod.)

22. I have a lot of Queen in my Spotify playlists. 

23. My ipod is pink. My cell phone is pink. When did I get so girlie? (Update: I know longer have an ipod. Does anyone? And the phone is an iphone.)

24. You have never really peed quickly and with great urgency until you have had to pee in the tall grasses of the Serengeti with the feeling that something is not only watching you ... but stalking you.

25. I can beat the snot out of my kids at two video games and only two: Dance Dance Revolution and Mario Golf. I highly recommend that no one on this planet challenge either one of them to a round of any version of Super Smash Bros unless you are a glutton for punishment and are begging for a sound lashing. You ... will ... not ... win.

26. I absolutely adored high school.

27. I truly strive to raise my boys to be modern day knights. There is sufficient evidence to suggest that I am succeeding in this quest.

28. I love high heels. Then again - I have astoundingly fabulous calf muscles (despite what the rest of me looks like) and they are best showcased in a great pair of heels.

29. I love San Antonio, TX and I was born there. I will visit, but I could never live there. Being adopted - I would be concerned about one day coming face to face with someone who looks just like me. That would be extremely unsettling. (Update: I'm in contact with my birth mother now. She doesn't live in San Antonio.)

30. Dark Chocolate + Peanut Butter = Greatest Combination Known To Mankind

31. I suck at math. Literally. I absolutely, positively suck at math.

32. My home computer crashed last week and the only two things I cared about saving were my writing (duh) and my iTunes. Words and music, baby. Words and music. (Incidentally, the computer tech dude here at work took my pc and got it all backed up for me.)

33. I absolutely abhor women who talk on their cell phones in public restrooms. I have been known to take away phones from people I know and hang up on whoever they are conversing with at that moment. I am likely to one day do it to a stranger if the trend continues. Nothing is that important. Nothing. If it is - take it outside.

34. If you do something stupid ... I will make fun of you.

35. If I do something stupid ... I will be the first to make fun of myself and fully expect you to make fun of me.

36. I secretly still want to be a stewardess. Oh, excuse me ... flight attendant.

37. Being politically correct 24/7 is illogical. The entire concept has been taken WAY too far by society.

38. I will be the first to tell you if you have spinach in your teeth or if your zipper is down or if you have hair hanging out of your nose and you will love me and appreciate me for it.

39. I often wish I had the patience my mother seems to so easily embody.

40. I love to sing. Loudly. I sing obnoxiously loud while in my vehicle.

41. You really don't want to listen to me sing. It isn't "nails on a chalkboard" bad, but I'm no songbird either.

42. The worst sound in the world is that of teeth scraping across a metal fork. Horrid.

43. I am a shield maiden of Rohan. For that matter, I am Eowyn herself. You just don't know it yet.

44. I have serious wanderlust issues. I want to travel, travel, travel, travel and travel. Dear God ~ Please bring me a rich man who can fund all of my adventures. He still has to love me desperately though. I don't want a sugar daddy. Amen.

45. I want to take archery lessons.

46. I firmly believe each of my boys are growing up to be bona fide hotties and I am thoroughly prepared to give a brutal beating with my old field hockey stick to any girl or boy that dares to treat either one of them badly. Trust me; I know how to wield it.

47. I love Drew Barrymore movies. I love Steven Spielberg movies. I absolutely detest the film E.T. (nasty, ugly little extra-terrestrial).

48. I think my father has a brilliant sense of humor. Secretly. I still roll my eyes and say, "Oh, Dad!" when he tells jokes. Inside - I'm laughing. (I lost my dad in 2013 to cancer. Fuck cancer.)

49. Flip-flops are meant to be worn all year long. 365 days! Yes, even in winter.

50. There is nothing in this world that can compare to classic English Literature. Nothing.

51. My thesaurus and I love each other.

52. I managed to get pregnant ten months after having my tubes tied. WHAT? Yeah - weird, huh? I'm one of those 0.01% statistics. Trust me though, that will never happen again. I have permission (from him) to sue the OB/GYN who performed the second (and first) procedure should such an astounding thing ever occur.

53. There is no full-length mirror in my home. I like it this way. 

54. I hate buying makeup and hair products. I find it tedious and confusing.

55. I love, love, love the feel of someone else washing my hair.

56. I could sit on a quiet beach and listen, really listen, to the ocean all day long.

57. I dislike living inland. I have always lived inland.

58. I am a hopeless believer in the power of true love ... if you are lucky enough to locate it.

59. I have no idea how to laugh quietly. I laugh loudly and often.

60. I named my last cat 'Mr. Darcy' and if you don't know what significance that name has, considering I am 'Elizabeth', then shame on you.

61. I name all my pets after characters in English Literature. Let's see, there have been Romeo, Juliet, Othello, Cleopatra, Beatrice, Benedick, Lancelot & Guinevere thus far. (I now have two cats named Faramir and Eowyn. The trend continues.)

62. I am systematically working my way through everything (film or tv) that James McAvoy has ever done courtesy of Netflix. I have yet to encounter a poor performance. Update: Yes, I like 'Wanted'.

63. I don't see the glass as half empty. I don’t see it as half full. I see half a glass of water.

64. I love Chewbacca. Yes … as in Star Wars.

65. I play the piano - though not as well as I should.

66. Globes. Our Earth is so beautiful. I buy them. I collect them. Maps, too.

67. Writing is like breathing. I have no choice. I would continue to write even if there were no one there to read it.

68. I like to play with matches.

69. Asterix adventures are the greatest comic books ever written.

70. I am just beginning to discover and appreciate the music and brilliance of The Beatles.

71. I have a favorite Bible verse and it should come as no surprise that it is poetic.
“Place me like a seal over your heart,
like a seal on your arm;
for love is as strong as death,
its jealousy unyielding as the grave.
It burns like blazing fire,
like a mighty flame.
Many waters cannot quench love;
rivers cannot wash it away.
If one were to give
all the wealth of his house for love,
it would be utterly scorned.”
~Song of Solomon 8:6-7

72. People are inexplicably drawn to me when they need advice. I don’t understand it. I am not the great and powerful Wizard of Oz.

73. Biceps. A man’s well defined arms can make me weak in the knees.

74. I have a tattoo. This is no secret. Ooops! Surprise Mom & Dad! It was not a rash adolescent decision as I only got it one year ago. I love it and I will likely get one or two more. Update: I have three.

75. When I am sleeping … I want the room to be dark. Black. Black. Black. The tiniest glow of light will irritate me all night long. I have insomnia issues anyway. I do not need any extraneous light keeping me awake.

76. Flowers. I really dislike roses (too cliché) and I think the carnation is the ugliest flower ever. It matters not what color. But, I love flowers in general and wild flowers in particular.

77. I find proper English gardens to be most enchanting and magical places.

78. I miss the unbelievable sense of freedom that accompanies the ability to scale up a fantastical tree.

79. "I think I should have no other mortal wants, if I could always have plenty of music. It seems to infuse strength into my limbs, and ideas into my brain. Life seems to go on without effort, when I am filled with music." ~George Eliot, The Mill On The Floss

80. I want to fly on a broomstick and play Quidditch.

81. To be perfectly honest, if you are still reading this then I am absolutely astounded.

82. Newspapers bore me and leave nasty blackish residue on my fingers. I do, however, read online versions of just about everything: CNN, MSNBC, USA Today, and even the stupid little Daily Siftings Herald of Arkadelphia, AR.

83. By the way - I may live here for the moment, but don't ever stoop to calling me an Arkansan. Ever.

84. I am a rather aggressive driver. Maybe this is how I was able to navigate Nairobi streets or perhaps I drive the way I do because of driving in Kenya and dodging matatus.

85. Facebook. Yep, I'm an addict. Update: The addiction is wearing thin. I have it. I use it... but nothing like it used to be.

86. I work on a gorgeous lake. I don't swim in it. Lake water grosses me out. (I still visit the lake, but I now work at a university. It's pretty as well.)

87. Books, movies, and TV shows dealing with the subject of vampires will inevitably draw me in like moth to flame. Not so strange when you realize I have had my nights and days confused since infancy. Update: Stephenie Meyer is not the foremost authority on all things vampyric. That's all I have to say about that.

88. Golf on TV. I really don't get it. Why do the announcers whisper as someone is taking a shot when they are secluded in a media box somewhere far, far away from where the golfer is located?

89. I have eaten beef, pork, chicken, turkey, fish, lamb, goat, rabbit (ugh), quail, buffalo, giraffe, crocodile, alligator, deer, gazelle, impala, zebra, wildebeast, flying ants, ostrich and I'm sure many others that are simply not coming to mind at the moment. I could never be a vegetarian. Update: I have actually tried and succeeded at eating vegetarian for a month at a time. Vegan? No. Vegetarian? Yes. I absolutely surprised myself. I still don't think I could sustain it for life.

90. I have been known to crank up the Beach Boys and "surf" around my living room with my children. This usually results in bouts of uncontrollable laughter at some point.

91. My children respond to a number of different collective nicknames: Little People, Chubbits, Fatheads, Crazy Ones, Dudes, Big K & Little K, KK, KitKat, Dwarves, Midgets, Hobbits, Little Tags and ... more recently ... Merry & Pippin.


92. Ha! Number 92. I graduated from high school in 1992.

93. If you ask for my opinion you better make sure the question is not rhetorical and that you are prepared for whatever answer I will give. If you inquire .. I - Will - Tell - You - Exactly - What - I - Think.

94. Compliments are difficult for me to accept.

95. It is a proven fact that I make the most divine chocolate chip cookies ever. I don't eat them myself, but I make them for others.

96. I have had the same email address since the mid-90s and I absolutely refuse to change it despite the hundreds of emails that land in my spam folder on a daily basis. Anyone who has ever known me knows they can reach me at this email.

97. Where The Wild Things Are is the greatest children's book of all time. Update: That movie? Shite.

98. I would thoroughly enjoy driving across this country from New York City to Los Angeles or from Boston to San Francisco or from Miami to Seattle. Road Trip!

99. Right now. I might just party like it is 1999. Again.

100. Finishing my college education fell victim to life and circumstance despite the fact that I only had a few classes left to complete. Someday, somehow ... I will get my degree. I hate leaving things unfinished. (DONE! I graduated in 2013.)

101. I have an aversion to blue ink pens. Abhor the blue. Love the black. I'm an ink pen racist. [Hangs head in shame.] (I'm sort of over this one now.)

102. I have come to realize that I will never be one of the popular kids. You know what? Not only am I 100% okay with that fact, but I actually prefer it this way.

103. “We must remember that all these things, the nuances, the anomalies, the subtleties, which we assume only accessorize our days are in fact here for a much larger and nobler cause. They are here to save our lives.” ~Stranger Than Fiction, Film (2006)

104. I have so much to do in this life. I am simply unaware of what all those things are at this time.

105. I keep trying to determine who I would be if I could choose to be any literary character. At inception, I thought it would be a simple decision. I was wrong. [A ‘Top Ten’ list on the subject is likely forthcoming.] Update: Like this.

106. I’m a flirt. In person. Over the phone. Online. Incorrigible.

107. Makeover. I hate the word. Everything these days is “makeover this” and “makeover that” and “let’s get a makeover” and blah, blah, blah.

108. I need a makeover serious life change.

109. While growing up, I disliked avocados. Now? I would give anything for a large, fresh, Kenyan avocado as opposed to the scrawny ones that are sold in the grocery here. Avocados are good.

110. I have an astonishingly sensitive sense of smell.

111. Despite my adoration of all things music, my list of concerts attended is not as lengthy as one might think: Bon Jovi (twice), Skid Row, Goo Goo Dolls, Steven Curtis Chapman, Keith Urban, The Doobie Brothers, Kelly Clarkson with Reba McIntyre, Huey Lewis & The News, OneRepublic, .38 Special and ZZ Top. UPDATE: Nickelback, Gavin Rossdale, Heart, Hinder, Celtic Woman, American Idol Summer 2009 (Big K's bday present), Theory of a Deadman, Daughtry, Seether and Muse. 2nd Update: 30 Seconds to Mars & Bon Jovi (Yes, again!), Poison, REO Speedwagon, Barenaked Ladies, Blue October, Papa Roach, Linkin Park, Transiberian Orchestra... there are more. I have to think about it.)

112. I not so secretly wish Steven Spielberg would begin rolling out new episodes of Animaniacs.

113. Apparently, I am responsible for introducing more than one of my high school friends to their initial alcoholic beverage. This wasn’t a fact I remembered about myself, but the stories of just such occurrences keep surfacing.

114. Eventually, some random January, I will choose to read everything by Charles Dickens starting that year. I will do it. Update: I thought 2010 would be the year. I was mistaken. January came and I was unprepared. Ditto for 2011.

115. When I get in an elevator I check the certification certificate to see when that sucker was last inspected. Plummeting 50 floors … or even 1 … is not an appealing thought for me. And, yet, I have absolutely no fear of getting on an airplane and having it fall out of the sky.

116. Nobody in my office knows how to use spell check … or they are simply far too lazy. Apparently, it is much more efficient for them to yell, “Beth! How do you spell ….?” from across the room. Ironically, while I am a great speller, I don’t spell well out loud and won’t be winning a Spelling Bee anytime soon. I quickly type (or write) my response to myself before hollering back the answer.

117. I don’t sew. Needle and thread are not my friends and, truthfully, I don’t want them to be.

118. Resigning myself to the fact that I will most likely live in this country for the rest of my life has led me to the decision that I will move to the greater Dallas, Texas area one of these days. I heart Dallas.

119. My first car was bought for me when I came to the U.S. for college: 1984 Buick LeSabre … two-tone poo brown. It was a boat affectionately known on campus as the U.S.S. Kenya. I sailed that ship on many a sporadic road trip.

120. I love pizza. Big K loves pizza. Little K loves pizza. We have drastically different pizza preferences. This makes ordering pizza a complex and expensive venture with (usually) a lot of leftovers (this is changing as my boys really do often eat like boys and leave nothing behind). All three of us adore cold pizza for breakfast.

121. At some point in my life I have been a subscriber to the following magazines: Highlights, Teen Beat, Sports Illustrated, National Geographic, Entertainment Weekly, Reader’s Digest, Newsweek, Time, Cosmopolitan, People, Redbook, Taste of Home and Bon Appetite.

122. I obtained my driver’s license on my fifteenth birthday. Not my permit, my license. We lived in Louisiana that year and the legal driving age was 15, not 16 like the rest of this country. I took the test that morning and we began driving to San Antonio, Texas as soon as I got home. That afternoon my father made me drive through rush hour traffic in Houston, Texas. I have since driven in many a large city with no apprehension at all. (Random note: Honestly, if I can drive in Nairobi … I can drive anywhere.)

123. I speed.

124. I have road rage.

125. I used to cross stitch. A lot. And then I realized that even a pretty cross stitch is truly an ugly cross stitch. I do not cross stitch anymore.

126. I am absolutely hilarious, but only to myself and the 5 other people (that’s a generous estimate) on this rock who get my humor.

127. My brother and I had cookie bake-offs when we were younger. My father was the judge. I always won. I think this had more to do with being “daddy’s girl” then it did the taste or appearance of my cookies.

128. “You are just like your father!” comes out of my mom’s mouth at least once every time I go for a visit.

129. I went to my 5 year high school class reunion. I skipped the 10 year … on purpose. Year 15 came and went without any of us realizing we should have had a reunion. I’m planning my 20 year high school reunion. I guess I will have to be there.

130. If I were a comic book character I would be Black Cat. But, she dated Spiderman and I think Peter Parker is a tool. Bruce Wayne, on the other hand, can light my fire any day. I know. Black Cat having the hots for Batman would be a DC/Marvel crossover and for some stupid reason that is really taboo.

131. I applied for a job at The Disney Store once when I was in college. They didn’t hire me. Apparently, I wasn’t considered “wholesome” enough for the job. Go figure.

132. Despite my insomnia issues, I do not nap during the day even if I feel exhausted. I have tried. The end result of me napping is waking up with the bitchiest and crankiest attitude on the planet for the rest of the day.

133. I have rather small feet for my height and nubby little pinky toes.

134. I think Pepe le Pew is one smoooooth operator.

135. I have decided that I was born at exactly the right time in history. My sarcasm alone would have gotten me beheaded or burned at the stake or mummified alive in any other era.

136. Breakfast food should not be eaten at breakfast. Breakfast food is meant to be eaten in the middle of the night. Waffle House exists for this very purpose.

137. There is a joint addiction of board games and card games in this house. Current count? Board games (51). Card games (10). Update: The counts have increased substantially. I'm too lazy to go count.

138. I hate going to bed.

139. I hate waking up in the morning.

140. I believe, at this point, that money could absolutely buy my happiness … or put me on the road toward it. Update: Still painfully true.

141. When I get really stressed out at work (aka: pissed off at everyone around me), I find myself singing extremely silly songs in my head. “I have a lovely bunch of coconuts …” “Where is my hairbrush? Oh, where is my hairbrush …”

142. There are no “bad” words. There is only ill-used verbiage. A well placed expletive has its time and place and can, in fact, enhance any statement, question or exclamation.

143. I had a great snogging (make-out) session with some random hot English boy on a British Airways flight between Nairobi and London once. I had been home for the summer. He was on his way home from a Kenyan holiday visiting whoever. If I asked his name … I sure don’t remember it now.

144. Sawyer is my constant. Update: Lost is over. Sniff.

145. Son (8 year old): "Can I have cupcakes for dinner?" Me: “Negative Ghostrider, the pattern is full.” ~Top Gun, Film (1986) [Does it suck that I parent via movie quotes?]

146. It has taken me 34+ frustrating years to realize the secret to a pretty ponytail is to actually DO one's hair first? Does that make sense? That defeats the purpose of a ponytail, yes?

147. It is acceptable, nay … totally groovy, to do things differently … to go against the grain … to shatter all expectation and to hell with those who don’t like it.

148. Someone recently asked if we ladies name our boobs. Not really, no. At least, not me. What would I name them? ::sigh:: I answered: "Thing One & Thing Two" ~ Oi! I'm going to hell for referencing Dr Seuss in a boob conversation.

149. Daily after-work conundrum: Write/Blog **or** Responsible Parenting. I don't know. Do the kids need to eat?? (Note: Obviously the responsibility wins this argument or my blog entries would be more frequent and far more original.)

150. “Don’t make me angry. You won’t like me when I’m angry.” ~Bruce Banner


151. I once complained about doing chores late. Eldest child: “What does it matter? You don't sleep anyway.” Me: “Touché, Monsier Pussycat. Touché.”

152. How have I not seen this episode of Firefly? Bastards just CUT OFF Mal's ear??? WTH? [Well, now you know what I do while I’m writing these random lists.]

153. Speaking of Firefly … a year ago I was working my way through the filmography of James McAvoy (see #62). I’ve moved on to Nathan Fillion and I haven’t missed an episode of
Castle yet!! Castle is over. Sniff.

154. VH1 needs me to write their 'Top 100' list commentary. Boo, the bad puns!! Boo!

155. The ability to predict weather changes via my knees is a total bitch.

156. I have no balance in life. My yin regularly bites my yang in the ass.

157. I'm not much of a ooh-that-vehicle-is-so-hot type of person, but have you SEEN the 2010 Chevy Camaro (http://tinyurl.com/6yb422)?? I. WANT. THAT. CAR. (I still want the new version of the Camaro.)

158. Sometimes I just need to be rescued. Tough, independent woman persona be damned.

159. I have a superpower. It’s called P.R.O.C.R.A.S.T.I.N.A.T.I.O.N.

160. "Do things. Do them well. Then, right away, do something totally different and do it even better." - Jim Henson

161. Screw SPEW (Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare)!!!! I need a house elf. [That would be a Harry Potter reference.]

162. If, perchance, any of these entries sound ridiculously familiar … I raided a lot of my more random
tweets to help “fill in the blanks” when I found myself stumped. Then again, you’d have to be on Twitter to even notice.

163. I listen to the song “I Remember You” from Skid Row just about once every day. I miss an odd day every now and then, but it isn’t often.

164. I have a habit of repeating myself.

165. I have a habit of repeating myself.

166. If I could pick any celebrity to play me in a movie about my life it would be Charlize Theron. Of course, she is far more statuesque and stunning.

167. I absolutely hated country music until my dad dragged me to the Grand Ole Opry at the end of my tenth grade year (1990). I went into that building pitching a massive teenage hissy-fit about having to be there. I came out a bona fide country music convert. It still isn’t my favorite genre, but I do love a bit of it every now and then.

168. I don’t have any surviving grandparents. I wish there had been opportunity for me to get to know them better.

169. I’m naturally blonde (though it’s getting darker), but I have a teeny tiny patch of hair on the back of my head that is course, a bit kinky and black as tar. When I was two, our Kenyan helper came running to my mother with me tucked under his arm … pointing at those few hairs sticking out of the wispy white blonde. He thought I had been in Africa too long and I was beginning to “become” an African – beginning with my hair.

170. “It's my life. It's now or never. I ain't gonna live forever. I just want to live while I'm alive. My heart is like an open highway. Like Frankie said, ‘I did it my way.’ I just wanna live while I'm alive. It's my life.” ~Bon Jovi

171. You know where "Life Sucks" meets "I Can't Take This Anymore?" I'm there.

172. I’m not going in a movie theater five minutes late. I’ll catch the next show, thank you. But, the first five minutes are all previews. Yes, I know. I happen to *adore* the previews.

173. I was briefly unemployed for four months in 2004 and almost went INSANE!! I complain about HAVING to work instead of CHOOSING to work, but I would always choose to work.

174. I cuss like a sailor. I’ve never understood that phrase though. It’s been my experience that those hot marine type boys use much filthier language than the navy or army men.

175. I don’t have a high school class ring. My father refused to buy one citing that I would much rather have one from university when the time came. Wrong. I will one day retroactively purchase a class ring that represents my awesome high school years.

176. Socks. I hate them.

177. I think every person on this planet needs to watch “
Into The Wild” at least once. More then once would be ideal. It is one profound cinematic experience and could change your life … or the way you look at it.

178. I love to sit in the sauna at the gym post-workout but I think about that scene in “Goldeneye” between James Bond and Xenia Onatopp every single time I go in there. Every. Time.

179. I’m strolling down a sidewalk or across a parking lot when … oh-lookie-there-is-a-random-rock-sitting-on-this-paved-surface. I must kick it!!!

180. When I was about seven my mother (the librarian) started a seminary library in Kenya from scratch using donated books from churches and private collections. I have typed many a card catalog card and filed many a book. The dewey decimal system is no match for me!! Perhaps I should have become a librarian.

181. I think that removing Pluto from the list of traditional planets and making it a dwarf planet is the single most asinine decision the modern scientific community has ever made.

182. I can’t be bothered with coupons.

183. I have an obsession with watching home improvement television shows. Why? I don’t own. I rent and can't make major changes to my apartment. (I bought, but I'm too poor to follow through on all my plans.)

184. My oldest son is now a teenager. I’m too young to have a teenager. It scares me to death. (He's now 21. Ugh.)

185. When I was 19 I contracted a hideous case (is there any other kind) of measles and landed myself in Nairobi hospital. My eyesight was affected and I had to keep the room dark. In order to pass the time I had mom read The Lord of the Rings out loud for the three days of my confinement. I should have been grateful. Instead, I spent the time correcting her pronunciation of all the names and places. To this day I’m amazed that she kept reading.

186. I was a campus photographer in high school and college. I desperately want to own my own decent photography equipment. Even my digital camera is total crap. Donations are accepted.

187. In college I was shooting a football game from the sidelines when I noticed the wide receiver for our home team heading in my direction. I knew what was coming before it happened but had nowhere to run. People have told me he and I hit the ground pretty darn hard … but I managed to keep the camera in my hand and elevated throughout the ordeal. See? Being a tomboy and playing rugby with the boys has a purpose.

188. My children and I, when in a waiting room or a car or just plain bored, ponder aloud words we think sound weird: hippopotamus, follicle, nostril, waft, asphalt, etc. Go ahead, run with it. It’s fun!

189. I am absolutely great at making plans. I absolutely suck at following through on them. This applies only to my personal life as I am highly efficient in my work environment.

190. I have a small scar on the inside of my left wrist. My brother was swinging around a piece of sheet metal (Don’t ask why because I don’t know.) and he got a bit too close to me. I lifted my hands to protect my face. Inevitably, if people notice, they try to find some way to ask me if I once tried to commit suicide by slitting my wrists. Just for the record: I have not. I am quite glad the scar continues to diminish with each passing year.

191. Superstitions strike me as silly. Still, I’m not walking under a ladder any time soon and I have been known to knock on wood.

192. I love the feeling of sliding into a tightly made bed with freshly washed sheets.

193. I don’t make my bed every morning. Hell, I don’t make my bed ANY morning. I do make the bed when I wash the sheets, but that usually isn’t in the morning.

194. I’ve never had Poison Ivy, but I keep a bottle of calamine lotion in the house.

195. I have seen the Mona Lisa and Michelangelo’s David and Milan’s Duomo Cathedral and Rembrandt’s Night Watch and the Eiffel Tower and the Coliseum in Rome and the astounding collection of Egyptian artifacts at The British Museum and The Little Mermaid in Copenhagen … and more. I love Europe and I have the greatest parents ever.

196. You know that joke in “The Breakfast Club” that Bender (Judd Nelson) tells while he is crawling up in the ceiling tiles: “Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, I guess you won't be needing a drink. Naked lady says...” He never finishes it as he falls through the ceiling. Anyone know the ending to this joke? Does it have an ending? It’s been driving me crazy for 20 years so, please, feel free to share if you have insider information. Update: Someone make up an ending for this thing. Please!

197. There are a lot of stories I would love to share on my blog that I don’t. I think I’ve mentioned before that my mother logs on and read it from time to time. Alas!

198. My brain is my own worst enemy.

199. I am a firm believer that it takes a lifetime to TRULY get to know someone.

200. See? I finished! Perseverance, baby! “Goonies never say die!” ~Goonies, Film (1985)

For my final list I recruited the help of friends and family.
Here we go..

201. I've decided to go back to university. F-R-I-G-H-T-E-N-I-N-G! Of course, they have to accept me first.

202. The lovely
Aly sent me this reminder: "You introduced me to Lost Boys, for which I will be eternally grateful." It's true. I'm not sure in what year this took place... most likely 1991 or 1992; however, The Lost Boys was my whore and I was its hardcore pimp from 1988 to 1994ish... introducing many a friend. I still have mad love for the film and will force you to my house, even today, to watch it if I discover you have been so deprived. David could kick Edward's glittery ass any day.

203. I escape into fiction.

204. I live in a town with 8 (soon to be 9) traffic lights. Watch out, NYC... we're comin' for ya! It could be worse. I'd rather live in a place with no traffic lights than a "town" that has one random flashing yellow caution light.

205. I recently began corresponding with my birth mom.

206. I've had a craving for a new tattoo going on 6 months now. Only one thing will solve this problem. Ink.

207. I use the phrase "Bah! Humbug!" all through the year because the words "Bah!" and "Humbug!" are not exclusive to Christmas. I don’t think Charles Dickens cares either.

208. Lightsaber. I need one.

209. Phaser. I need one of those too.

210. "Sump'n" is not a word. Use of said abomination should disqualify someone from being my superior in the workplace, but what do we find...

211. “I am not the same having seen the moon rise on the other side of the world.” ~Mary Ann Rademacher

212. I want to get a job designing and making
Fandango puppets.

213. When frustrated, I laugh.

214. When angry, I cry… and possibly yell.

215. There is a bread machine sitting on my small appliance shelf that hasn’t been utilized in at least seven years. (I gave it away.)

216. I don’t snore.

217. I want to give big smooches to the genius who originally cultivated the seedless grape... even if that person is a woman.

218. I haven’t been reading as much as I have been known to read in the past. This makes me sad and I know I’m the only one who can fix it.

219. Jeremy, high school undersclassman and all around pretty awesome dude, claims: "You are responsible for LETTING THE DOGS OUT!" I have no idea what he means. Then again, he is also insane.

220. On occasion
twitter allows me to channel moments of unbridled brilliance.
221. Don’t take my picture unless you ask first.

222. If you ask to take my photograph the answer will probably be, “No!”

223. ˙ɹoʇɐnbǝ ǝɥʇ ɟo ɥʇnos sɐʍ ı ɥsıʍ ı

224. I still want to rip Barbie's head off like I did when I was a kid. Is that so wrong?

225. People think I’m smart. I know better.

226. I need a bitchin' superpower. Teleportation could actually solve most of my problems.

227. My biscuits need help, but this Southern girl makes the best cream gravy ever.

228. If you prove in the 1st 5 min of conversation that you have no semblance of a brain in your noggin'... I will pretend you don't exist. Unless, of course, you have a valid mental handicap.

229. I’ve decided I want to learn Latin. It’ll probably never happen. C’est la vie. See? Not Latin.

230. Brittany, fellow college troublemaker (You know it, my dear.), wants to know if I "ever came back from 'feeding the dogs'". The answer is, "No, I did not." Story: "I have new puppies. Do you want to come with me to feed the dogs?" was a pick up line at a college party from one of the hottest guys I had ever seen. I went and I will NEVER live down that line. Rightfully so.

231. I can get along with just about anyone if I put my mind to it.

232. Sometimes I don’t put my mind to it.

233. Road trip! I want to drive the Mediterranean coastline from Gibraltar to Reggio Calabria, Italy.

234. I miss eating fish and chips from a street vendor in London.

235. I miss eating waffles from a street vendor in Brussels.

236. I miss eating pizza from a street vendor in Rome.

237. I miss eating roasted corn from a street vendor in Nairobi.

238. I haven’t purchased a skirt or a dress in at least five years.

239. Somebody... somewhere... must have a voodoo doll with my head on it. Too bad they can't use that thing to make me skinnier.

240. I say what I mean and mean what I say. Most people don’t like it.

241. I have only been to summer camp on one occasion. I was ten and it was ultimately very enjoyable. The location was Camp Caesar in West Virginia and I kept the t-shirt until I was fourteen.

242. Everyone has a dark side, including me.

243. I hate Mondays.

244. I love lasagna.

245. No, I am not Garfield though I did collect Garfield books and stuffed animals at one time.


246. Apologies and forgiveness can be obtained 25 years later. My friend Tammy told me, "In 7th grade you had a jean jacket that was so important to you that you started a physical fight with a sweet innocent little girl that had no idea how to fight and no idea that the punch was even coming. :)" I didn't remember owning the jean jacket... let alone the punch... though I'm not surprised. Ahem, tomboy. I have no recollection of punishment either, but surely that behavior earned me a plate of demerit and two sides of detention.

247. Between 7th-12th grades, at boarding school, I spent a fair chunk of time in Saturday detention. It was nothing like
The Breakfast Club. I'm still mildly disappointed by that fact. Not detention, mind you... detention not being like the movie.
“I know myself, but that is all.” ~F. Scott Fitzgerald

248. I'm a Browncoat... though not in a costumish convention sort of way. And, if you don't know what a Browncoat is then this means nothing to you.

249. Frito-Lay laces Cheetos with crack. I have no proof, but it's true.

250. I want to live in a land of myth and legend. Really. Robin Hood & King Arthur are far more interesting than... what? What do we have? Oh, I know! Paul Bunyan and his great blue ox. Point made. If I were Native American this would be different. But, I'm not. Meh.

251. I've never been on a Greyhound bus.

252. I have no intention of ever getting on a Greyhound bus.

253. I have, however, ridden in vehicles much like this and even this. Don't judge. Mom, if you're reading this: Breathe!

254. I'm not a blog statistics whore. I check them occasionally and mostly wonder about the sanity of those who choose to browse through all of my entries... all the way back to the beginning. It isn't possible for you to come out of that experience with a rational mind.

255. A new online friend and brave reader of this blog (D.G.) has taken note that "Movies based on Nicholas Sparks books are best avoided." It's true. I have never, and will never, read a Nicholas Sparks book. I know many a woman who believes
The Notebook to be pinnacle of romance. It makes me want to vomit. And, yet, I will confess (::deep breath::help me::) that Message In A Bottle actually gets to me... for a number of very personal reasons. Damn him.

256. Migraines. I get them. Rephrase: I get tension headaches which, when ignored, become migraines.... but, not often enough to warrant the primary care physician prescribing super strong anti-migraine druggery. Not fair.

257. My Facebook friend list deserves a righteous purge.

258. I give root beer a good try about every six months and immediately think, "Mmmmm. I love root beer." Then I forget until the next time.

259. Sharpie pens are super awesome writing utensils of perfection.

260. Big K, the teenager, would like you to know that I have a strange hatred for Marshmallow Peeps®. I don't think it's strange. Peeps are evil. (He's an adult now and he still loves those nasty Peeps.)

261. Made-for-TV movies on the SyFy channel? I. Love. Them.

262. I don't think your car appreciates being "dressed up"
like a reindeer any more than your dog really wants to wear a sweater.

263.
Desi, former sister-in-law of awesomeness, thinks knowing "the difference between sabstian bach and that other guy....bon bon jovi" is an accomplishment for me. It's an ongoing thing. Then again, I know how to spell "Sebastian Bach"... but it's Amber, other former sister-in-law of awesomeness, who beat me to the punch on the back half of Desi's statement: "Ah yes, bon bon jovi. Is he a delicious chocolaty snack? A fabulous-haired rocker? Hey, can't it be both?!" Man, I love those ladies.

264. Amber also wondered approximately how many miles I've driven this year in going to concerts. Answer: 1400. I don't think that's excessive and I'm too lazy to add up the lifetime total. Most notable (round trip) are 570 miles for Muse (2010) and 1,230 miles for Bon Jovi (2002). My concert list is located in list
1-100.

265. I found my Clark Kent last year. More accurately, he walked into my office to install a new phone system. And... I let him walk right back out agan. Finally! A man full of hot manly geekery and I let my insecurities win. Boo.

266. My number has never come up for jury duty. Hurry! Where is some wood? I need to knock on it.

267. Part of me actually believes I just jinxed myself with #266.

268. Sometimes I say words out loud that I thought I was saying only inside my brain.

269. At work I prefer to be continually challenged.

270. I just named my new-to-me burgundy car “Red 5”… as in “This is Red 5. I’m going in!” Yeah – I’m going to make you Google it if you don't already know the line. Update: Red 5 now has a Star Wars air freshener and a Rebel Alliance sticker in the back window. Me = Geek. (Red 5 belongs to oldest child now.)

271. I can’t play poker.

272. There are a lot of conversations I probably shouldn’t be listening to that take place within earshot of my desk at work. I know things.

273. I’ve had to learn to get up and leave during some conversations because a) some things I really don’t want to know and b) my mouth will win and my unsolicited opinion will get interjected.

274. I believe new beginnings are possible although I haven’t fully grasped onto mine yet.

275. Marriage is not for me or I am not for it. I’m not sure which.

276. I love my boys but I am not looking forward to the day (far, far, far in the future) that either one of them makes me a grandmother.

277. When that time comes, I will not be known as “grandma” or “grannie” or “meemaw” or anything else overtly ancient sounding.

278. The idea of being super organized at home appeals to me. I can never seem to make it happen.

279. I couldn't possibly have something really, really good happen to me right now... that would anger the universe.

280. I like punctuality and, yet, somehow those who don’t know the meaning of the word are drawn to me as friends. I have to forgive them daily or we wouldn’t be friends anymore.

281. Toilet paper. It has to roll OVER not under. Seriously.

282. "I remember thinking you were the coolest when we were in Graphic Arts together (your senior year, my junior)," says Kendri. Proof positive that appearances can be deceiving. Graphic Arts is code for Yearbook Staff. (
"Have you seen the kids on yearbook? Nerds pick on them." ~Buffy the Vampire Slayer, TV Series) I joke. We actually had a very diverse and interesting group in the class... dubbed "Gossip Club 92". If it happened on campus... we knew.

283. Tonsils. I have them.

284. Appendix. I have it.

285. Wisdom teeth. Yeah, they’ve been gone since junior high.

286. Secretly I think it would be really groovy to be an Old World gypsy.

287. I miss riotous college days too, but I really miss you, Claire.

288. I haven’t ridden on a horse since I was fifteen. There simply hasn’t been any opportunity.

289. I was pretty darn sure that Y2K was not going bring worldwide disaster and chaos with it. I was right.

290. Guess how I feel about 2012. I’m right. (Yep, I was right.)

291. British comedy is comedy at its finest.

292. I got really tired of the phrase, “Oh my God! You look just like Sammy from Days of Our Lives!” when I was in college.

293. If I ever lose the weight I want to lose… I’m going to pierce my nose.

294. After two years of French in high school and two years of French in college I still can’t speak French. At all.

295. Almost every song that had serious radio play from 1988 to 1994 has a very specific memory attached to it in my mind. Usually I’ve forgotten about that memory until I randomly hear the song to which it is tied. I should probably start journaling them.

296. I need, want and deserve an actual vacation more than anyone else I know.

297. It is too bad I cannot win a Pulitzer for writing lists.

298. Obviously I’m stretching to get a full list of 100.

299. I quite dislike how many of these points start with “I”.

300. If you have read this far then I congratulate you on your trip deep into the rabbit hole.

The links for the original posts live here:
01-100
101-200
201-300

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